Uncle Less's Car Freshener

Less · 28-01-2005, 09:38

Hello my simple little kiddywinks, do you remember me? Oh I see we have some new faces since the last time I was taken to the secure ward, well those of you that haven't done any craft work with me before should go & take a look at this thread first for some practice, I promise that we won't do anything until you get back.
Uncle less's colouring page (from an idea stolen from H********life)

O.K. now everybody is ready we'll get started.

Below you will see a picture of that nice Mr. Roy's Land Rover, what I would like you to do is print a copy of it onto a stiff piece of paper, done that? good.

Now what you need to do is cut around the picture with a nice sharp pair of scissors you can get a grown up to help you if you want but you don't have to, just don't get any blood on the paper.

Next take a large carving knife out of Mummies cutlery drawer and slice a small thin piece off the bathroom sponge, at this point we'll have a little counting game, look on the floor and tell me how many of your fingers you can see (you can use the stumps on your hand as an aid to counting if there are too many to count in your head).

What you will have to do now is get that rickity chair out of Mummy & Daddies bedroom and use it to stand on to get Daddies lovely after shave lotion, (you know the one you gave him for Christmas), yes, I know it's in the bathroom cabinet that Daddy says you haven't to go into, why else would you need the chair?

Spray lot's & lots of it onto the piece of sponge, oh, stop screaming of course it stings when it goes in your eye, that will teach you to point the knozzle away from you next time!

now back to the cut out, place the sponge inside the two halves of the picture (use super glue for this because then any that you spill can be used to put your fingers back on), then stick the two halves together.

Finally using the sharpest point of the knife to make a hole through the two black dots, you can now put some string through the holes so that Daddy can hang it from the rear view mirror in his car, Ah, what a shame you can't find any string? Well if you look at the back of your television you will see some black mains wire hanging off it, use that, you might find it a bit tough to cut but if you use Daddies hammer on the top of the knife you'll manage it eventually.

There you are one really nice Car Freshener won't your PARENTS be proud.

mez · 28-01-2005, 10:13

ooooooo, nice unka less i cant see the colour of the car i fink i did it wong,why cant i see the colour? by the way my thum urts

mthead · 28-01-2005, 10:41

LOL you will make a good blue peter presenter Less

Mick · 28-01-2005, 11:10

Uncle less
i twied to make one but i was in the back of the car when i made it and i spilt daddy's after shave lotion all over the back seat now mummy says i have to clean it, how do i get rid of the smell off the seat and of me ,
daddy says i smell like a tart
i don't know how daddy knows this as mummy never bakes tarts only pies

vorlon24 · 28-01-2005, 11:35

Uncle Less

I am having to use another computer now as there is a big hole in the screen of my other one. The landrover disappeared when I tried to cut it out

I couldn't reach the telly, so I thought I would use that big grey one coming out of the fusebox - will that do instead?

janet · 28-01-2005, 12:08

Excellent Less, you cheer me up no end.lol

slinky · 28-01-2005, 15:47

Just got shouted at of my mum, was cutting the picture out and ended up cutting the same shape into her carpet. I then tried to glue the carpet back which did'nt look so bad but the smell of glue was soooooooooooo bad, so then i remembered what you said about the after shave and poured this over the carpet but it left a funny stain so I got the bleach and tried this, even though I tried my best I still got a slap off my mum. Think I will go to my bedroom and try it over again, MY MUM ALWAYS SAID '' IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED TRY TRY AND TRY AGAIN'' mums a clever lady so I will.

WillowTheWhisp · 28-01-2005, 16:03

I carn't get the spunj in the miggle ov my one. Shud I have put the soopergloo on after?
Its reely ard two tipe now wiv my fingerz stuk twogevver.

Mick · 28-01-2005, 16:19

We Are All Bloody Mad Here On Accyweb Hehe
Less has got all the kids out again !!! hehe

lettie · 28-01-2005, 16:20

I made a really nice one. My mummy says I can put it in the car when we come back from casualty.

mez · 28-01-2005, 16:33

you going in a namulance lettie
my fum still urts its were the gwu is wen i stuch it back on

Less · 28-01-2005, 17:29

As they say here's one I did earlier.

Tinkerbelle · 28-01-2005, 17:40

I askd ma mummy if i cud make one she sez i can when 'uncle norbert' comes round for his friday nite visit to look at my mummys squeaky wardrobe door

Less · 28-01-2005, 18:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

I askd ma mummy if i cud make one she sez i can when 'uncle norbert' comes round for his friday nite visit to look at my mummys squeaky wardrobe door

Does your mummy bring alot of 'Uncles' back to fix her squeaky wardrobe door?

Less · 28-01-2005, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by mez

ooooooo, nice unka less i cant see the colour of the car i fink i did it wong,why cant i see the colour? by the way my thum urts

I have been experimenting with a spare copy that I had of the car & I think I have found the problem, when I said fold it I meant with the pictures to the OUTSIDE gluing the two pictures together will result in the lack of colour that you have!

mthead

Quote:

LOL you will make a good blue peter presenter Less

I would rather make a BAD blue Peter presenter (please god, make it that little blonde one!).

mick

Quote:

daddy says i smell like a tart
i don't know how daddy knows this as mummy never bakes tarts only pies

There's no easy way to tell you this Mick, the reason your Daddy knows what a tart smells like is because he was happy before he met your Mummy.

Vorlon24

Quote:

I couldn't reach the telly, so I thought I would use that big grey one coming out of the fusebox - will that do instead?

YES!

slinky

Quote:

Think I will go to my bedroom and try it over again, MY MUM ALWAYS SAID '' IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED TRY TRY AND TRY AGAIN'' mums a clever lady so I will.

If your going to your bedroom be careful or you'll ruin your sheets!

WillowTheWisp

Quote:

I carn't get the spunj in the miggle ov my one. Shud I have put the soopergloo on after?

Yes dear, once you've glued the two sides together you'll find it very difficult to put the sponge in between. x x x
lettie

Quote:

I made a really nice one. My mummy says I can put it in the car when we come back from casualty.

While your at the hospital could you just nip down to Maternity & bring me some coffe & sugar back with you I hear they have more than they need down there.

Mez

Quote:

my fum still urts its were the gwu is wen i stuch it back on

My lovely little Mez, (sweety) do you really want me to tell you the problem?? Do you? do you Really sweety?
The reason it's still hurting is because when you glued it back on the nail is supposed to go to the end NOT the middle of the thumb!

Well, all this blood & gore has made me really hungry I think I might get up early tomorrow and have a mid-day snack.

Coming soon to a website near you Uncle Less's Agony page & believe me with the advice I give it will be AGONY.