[Acrylic-bob]

While I was away for Christmas I had occaision to visit a Macdonalds in Blackpool. (The one adjacent to Morrisons, South Shore, for the officianado's amongst you) I know I said I would rather eat the soles of my own shoes than eat at Macdonalds, but it was late and we were in a hurry, and I experienced a sort of masochistic desire to reassure myself that it was truly as horrible a gastronomic experience as I remembered.

I was not disappointed.

I ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, large Fries and a large Coffee. The Burger came in a flimsy card box and the Fries in an open-ended card packet and the Coffee in a card cup with a plastic lid. The Burger was firmly welded to the base of it's box which necessitated a complete deconstruction of the box to exticate it intact and it even then it took some layers of paper with it. The bun was steamed at the top and baked to crispness at the bottom. And, it has to be said, the entire ensemble bore about as much relationship to the advertised photograph as HBC does to efficient local government. Which is to say, none at all.

The "meat" in the sandwich looked like the sort of novelty dried burger I might buy for Acrylic-biff from a pet store. It was overcooked and had obviously been stored for quite some time and had the consistency of a damp digestive biscuit. Overall It was dark brown but flecked with particles of other varying colours. There was little recogniseable taste that was not swamped by the taste of the processed cheese slice, gherkin and tomatao sauce.

The fries were limp and greasy. I cannot say that they were tasteless, because they were not. But whatever taste they did have bore very little relation to that of fried potato.

I thought that I might have been on safer ground when I discovered that the coffee was made by Kenco, but sadly the best that can be said for it is that it was warm and wet.

All in all a thoroughly dispiriting experience and one that I have absolutley no wish to repeat. Had I been paying for the "treat" the lot would have been sent back. As it is, I wasn't. However, I shall, at some stage, take a photograph of one of macdonalds offerings and send it, with a copy of the advertised photograph to the Trading Standards Office. I am sure that there is some violation of the Trades Descriptions Act here.

Marks out of 10 ... 1!