[Eric]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then takes some sliced limes and eats them too. Then he jumps up onto the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartenders screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table." "Doesn't surprize me says the patron. He eats everything in sight. I'll pay for the cue ball and the other stuff." He pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's back in the bar again with his monkey. While he is drinking, the monkey picks up a maraschino cherry, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and then eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "No, what?", asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!" "Doesn't surprize me," says the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he measures everything first."