[Retlaw]

Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's Transit panel van when suddenly Fiona (being a bit on the kinky side) yells out:
"Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!"
Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snaps the radio-aerial off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona with it until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the whipping session are not healing and starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks:
"Did you get these marks having sex?"
Fiona, more than a little embarrassed that she had even slept with Fred - let alone allowed him to indulge in her own kinky desires -
eventually admits, "Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims:
"I thought so. Because, in all my years as a doctor, you've got the
worst case of van aerial disease that I have ever seen.