[Bazf]

Of course they dont cheat, heres something from the Man scum Utd academy,
If you are running towards the penalty area knowing that you’ve only got one defender to beat, just don’t bother!
When properly timed the just-been-shot dive (a.k.a Hurling) is very effective and looks very good once you have perfected it to an Olympic standard.

Practice
The Scoles........... Delay – Paul Scoles’ reaction speed in a Scum shirt last season was similar to that of a hibernating tortoise, so there was no surprise that he went down one week after Steven Gerrard had made contact (with a force comparable to a mouse’s fart) whilst both players were outside of the area.
All you have to do is think back to the last time someone nearly stepped on your toe in the pub and react like your foot has just been hacked off by an axe the next time you are in the oppositions area.

The Van Nistolroy Flop – Best practised in a Olympic sized swimming pool, you’ll need to chase down some poor, unsuspecting defender so you can use them to propel yourself straight into a triple forward flying somersault with single tuck.
Note: Do remember that just because your manager will say he didn’t see it, doesn’t mean that everyone else and their dog won’t…