Quote:
Originally Posted by K99WARD
Now is the time to take advantage of God's generous offer.
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Why? Is he having a bankruptcy sale.
"Hi my names God, less than a month until the Friday & Monday bank holidays, the first celebration of mammon since we celebrated Mary putting in a paternity claim, anyway we're having a bogof sale, over that time, everything must go, two miracles for the price of one and to add to the deal for that one weekend only, Я souls are us will drown any child of your choice in a baptism special.
We have entertainment on for the whole family, my lad will walk on water, turn water into wine (that's one for the dad's) and for his grande finale, he will show you how to survive 3 metres up a cross with his hands and feet tethered by nails, (eat your heart out David Blain you'll never top this one).
Don't forget to get you free snacks at our, all you can eat bread and fish in the basket all day buffet.
Just call down, and join in.
Can I just remind all you fatties out there of our weight loss programme? Yes, another chance for you to spend 40 days and 40 nights wandering our exclusive desert. Wait there's more for one day only a guest appearance of the Devil himself! Panto time is back, you'll have so much fun shouting out, HE'S BEHIND ME.
So get yourself down here and remember to log in to our facebook page, New Testament, we beat the crap out of you Old Testament. And don't be put off if my son asks you to be his friend while your logged on, after all, we all have a friend in Jesus".