Hello my simple little kiddywinks, do you remember me? Oh I see we have some new faces since the last time I was taken to the secure ward, well those of you that haven't done any craft work with me before should go & take a look at this thread first for some practice, I promise that we won't do anything until you get back.
Uncle less's colouring page (from an idea stolen from H********life)
O.K. now everybody is ready we'll get started.
Below you will see a picture of that nice Mr. Roy's Land Rover, what I would like you to do is print a copy of it onto a stiff piece of paper, done that?
good.
Now what you need to do is cut around the picture with a nice sharp pair of scissors you can get a grown up to help you if you want but you don't have to, just don't get any blood on the paper.
Next take a large carving knife out of Mummies cutlery drawer and slice a small thin piece off the bathroom sponge, at this point we'll have a little counting game, look on the floor and tell me how many of your fingers you can see (you can use the stumps on your hand as an aid to counting if there are too many to count in your head).
What you will have to do now is get that rickity chair out of Mummy & Daddies bedroom and use it to stand on to get Daddies lovely after shave lotion, (you know the one you gave him for Christmas), yes, I know it's in the bathroom cabinet that Daddy says you haven't to go into, why else would you need the chair?
Spray lot's & lots of it onto the piece of sponge, oh, stop screaming of course it stings when it goes in your eye, that will teach you to point the knozzle away from you next time!
now back to the cut out, place the sponge inside the two halves of the picture (use super glue for this because then any that you spill can be used to put your fingers back on), then stick the two halves together.
Finally using the sharpest point of the knife to make a hole through the two black dots, you can now put some string through the holes so that Daddy can hang it from the rear view mirror in his car, Ah, what a shame you can't find any string? Well if you look at the back of your television you will see some black mains wire hanging off it, use that, you might find it a bit tough to cut but if you use Daddies hammer on the top of the knife you'll manage it eventually.
There you are one really nice
Car Freshener won't your PARENTS be proud.
