[Margaret Pilkington]

Three men die and go to Heaven.
St Peter is at the gate with his large ledger....he checks their names off, one by one.
He lets them through the gate and tells them that there are a lot of ducks in heaven.....and the only rule is that they must not stand on a duck....he said if they did then the consequences would be severe.

After two weeks one of the chaps stands on a duck.
Within minutes St Peter was seen striding towards him....followed by the ugliest woman the man had ever seen.
St Peter tells the man that his punishment for this crime was to be attached to this ugly woman for all eternity.

Another couple of weeks go by and the second man steps on a duck.
St Peter turns up followed by an even uglier woman....he tells the man that he is to be saddled with the ugly woman for all eternity.

The third man was feeling very superior....more so when St Peter headed in his direction, this time followed by a beautiful woman, long blonde hair, stacked just right and attached this woman to the man.
He could not believe his luck.
He turned to the woman and said to her 'Well, I don't know what I have done to deserve this'
The woman looked him up and down and said 'I do....I stood on a duck!'