[Margaret Pilkington]

Harry stumbled home after a stag night...he went upstairs and slid into bed next to his wife.
He closed his eyes and when he opened them he saw a tall man in religious robes stood by the side of the bed.

'Who are you' he asked.
'St Peter' said the man.

'Oh no' said Harry. 'Don't tell me I am dead. I am much too young to die.
please let me go back to my life. I promise I will do anything'.

St Peter looked at him and rubbed his chin. he looked at his clipboard and ran his finger down the list.

'OK' he said 'but you have to go back as either a dog or a chicken'

Harry did not fancy being a dog...being fed dry biscuits...sleeping out on the porch.
'I'll go back as a chicken...how bad can that be?'

St Peter clicked his fingers and Harry landed in the hen coop.
Pretty soon the rooster was cosying up to him. 'I heard there was a new Chick in the coop, that must be you...right?'

The rooster asked Harry if he knew how to lay eggs. Harry shook his head.
The rooster said it was very easy as all the hens did it.

Soon after this Harry felt a pressure in his nethers and had the urge to push...so he did and there was a very large brown egg...no sooner had he parted with that than he felt the same sensation...he pushed again and dropped another brown egg.

Then came the cry of his wife...'Harry, HARRY, wake up you are crapping all over the sheets'