[Bazf]

For a couple of closet manuer supporters you are quite funny but here you are, just for the two of you, or any other scum supporter.......



Q: What do you say to a Man Utd supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo.

Q) What is the difference between a hedgehog and a busload of Man Utd fans?
A) On a hedgehog all the pricks are on the outside !!

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Man Utd players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

A man desperate at Man Utd current situation decides to top himself.In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very lastmoment, he decides upon wearing his full Man Utd kit as his last statement.A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police.On arrival, the police quickly remove the Man Utd kit and dress the man instockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

Q: What do you call a Man Utd fan with lots of girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd Q: What's the difference between a Man Utd fan and a trampoline?A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
I was talking to the Man Utd groundsman and commenting on how green and lush the grass was
He replied, "it should be with all the sh#t that plays on it!!"


Q: How do you kill a Man Utd fan when he's drinking?
A: Slam the toilet seat on his head!

Q: Why do Man Utd supporters have Moustaches?
A: So they can look like their Mothers.

Q: What do Man Utd fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: Whats black and brown and looks good on a Man Utd fan?
A: A Rottweiler.

Q: What do you call a Man Utd fan with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. Why do Man Utd fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!

Q: What do you call a Man Utd fan in a 2 bedroomed Semi?
A: A burglar

Q: What do you get when you offer a Man Utd fan a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change!

Jokes For Really Crap Sides

There's a rumour that Man Utd have lined up a new sponsor - Tampax.
The board thought it was an appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.

An new Oxo Cube will be introduced early next year in tribute to Man Utd.
It will be called "Laughing Stock".

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Man Utd are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Q. What have the Man Utd and a nappy got in common?
A. P*** upfront and crap at the back.

A burglary was recently committed at Man Utd ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a dusty carpet.

A policeman caught a fan climbing the wall of the Man Utd ground.
He made him go back and watch the rest of the match

Q. What's the difference between the Man Utd keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.

Q: What have Man Utd and a three pin plug got in common?
A: Their both useless in Europe.

Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and Man Utd ?
A: OJ Simpson had some sort of a defence!

Q: What's the difference between Man Utd and a teabag?
A: A tea bag stays in the cup longer!!!!!

Q) What is the difference between Man Utd and a lift ?
A) It doesn't take a lift nine months to go down

Q) What is the difference between Foot & Mouth and Man Utd?
A) Foot & Mouth is still in Europe.

Q: What is the difference between Man Utd and a triangle?
A: A triangle has three points. Someone asked me the other day, what time do Man Utd kick off?
About every ten minutes I replied.