[West Ender]

Oh, Willow, I feel just the same. I'm not a Christian, in the strictest sense of the word, though I have my own private beliefs. When my husband died 9 years ago, suddenly and unexpectedly, I did the same as you and had a funeral to celebrate him with a quite humourous eulogy from his best friend. It was, mainly, a secular funeral so I had secular music played - Glenn Miller and George Gershwin, as a matter of fact, because that was OUR music. My grandson, who was incredibly close to him, was only 10 at the time but he was there. He tried so hard not to cry for his Grampa, in public, but the funeral was cathartic for him. I couldn't let him see Colin, after he had died, because the cause was meningitis and it ravages the body so, for Peter, a ceremony that celebrated his beloved Gramps was important, as it was for my children with their dad.

Funerals are for the Living. They are a necessary way of expressing grief and celebrating a life. We are all going to die one day, it's part of life. Don't hide it away.