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lettie · 19-11-2005, 19:58

The Five Stages of Male Drunkenness

Stage 1: Smart This is when he suddenly becomes an expert on every subject in the known universe. He knows he knows everything, and wants to pass his knowledge on to anyone who will listen. At this stage, he is always right. And, of course, the person he is talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are smart.

Stage 2: Good-Looking. This is when he realizes that he is the best-looking man in the entire bar (and possibly on the entire planet), and that all women fancy him. He can approach a perfect stranger knowing she fancies him and really wants to talk to him. Bear in mind that he is still smart, so he can talk to her about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3: Rich. This is when he suddenly becomes the richest person in the world. He can buy drinks for the entire bar because he has an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. He can also make bets at this stage, because of course he's still smart, so naturally, he will win all bets. It doesn't matter how much he bets, because he is rich. He will also buy drinks for every woman he fancies, because he is also now the best-looking man in the universe.

Stage 4: Invincible. He is now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom he has been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt him. At this point, he can also approach the partners of the women he fancies, and challenge them to a battle of the wits or money. He can especially approach the partners of lesbians he fancies, because he knows he is just the man to turn the hot, sexy, inaccessible lesbian partner into a heterosexual. He has no fear of losing this battle, because he is smart, and rich, and, hell! he's better-looking than any of these losers!

Stage 5: Invisible. This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point, he can do anything, because no one can see him. He dances on tables to impress the women he fancies, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see him. He is also invisible to the angry lesbian who wants to bash his skull in with a pool cue. He can walk through the street singing at the top of his lungs because no one can see or hear him, and because he is still smart, and rich, and -- oh, hell, you know the rest.

19-11-2005, 19:58	#33
lettie Filthy / Gorgeous Bejeweled Blitz Champion! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Xanadu Posts: 4,005 Blog Entries: 337 Liked: 67 times Rep Power: 88670	Re: Dedicated to drink.... The Five Stages of Male Drunkenness Stage 1: Smart This is when he suddenly becomes an expert on every subject in the known universe. He knows he knows everything, and wants to pass his knowledge on to anyone who will listen. At this stage, he is always right. And, of course, the person he is talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are smart. Stage 2: Good-Looking. This is when he realizes that he is the best-looking man in the entire bar (and possibly on the entire planet), and that all women fancy him. He can approach a perfect stranger knowing she fancies him and really wants to talk to him. Bear in mind that he is still smart, so he can talk to her about any subject under the sun. Stage 3: Rich. This is when he suddenly becomes the richest person in the world. He can buy drinks for the entire bar because he has an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. He can also make bets at this stage, because of course he's still smart, so naturally, he will win all bets. It doesn't matter how much he bets, because he is rich. He will also buy drinks for every woman he fancies, because he is also now the best-looking man in the universe. Stage 4: Invincible. He is now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom he has been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt him. At this point, he can also approach the partners of the women he fancies, and challenge them to a battle of the wits or money. He can especially approach the partners of lesbians he fancies, because he knows he is just the man to turn the hot, sexy, inaccessible lesbian partner into a heterosexual. He has no fear of losing this battle, because he is smart, and rich, and, hell! he's better-looking than any of these losers! Stage 5: Invisible. This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point, he can do anything, because no one can see him. He dances on tables to impress the women he fancies, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see him. He is also invisible to the angry lesbian who wants to bash his skull in with a pool cue. He can walk through the street singing at the top of his lungs because no one can see or hear him, and because he is still smart, and rich, and -- oh, hell, you know the rest. __________________ Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..