Sorry to disappoint you, Less, but you won't get me going into a sterile, pretend pub like that.
The only time I appear in the Observer is in the "Before the Bench" column.

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Connect it: Red > Yellow, Yellow > Blue, & Blew to ....'kin bits!
Any ramblings, meanderings, thoughts or musings are mine and mine alone. Any opinions expressed are Lettie's!