...and the unpostable Rodger's are even better!
Dead and Buried
An Undertaker rings the wife of a dead man he is to bury...
u/t.. "Mrs Smith, this is the manager of the burial service and we have a bit of a problem with your husband."
wife.. "What's wrong?"
u/t.. "As you know, he was rather a 'well built' man. When Rigor Mortise sets in to a male corpse, he ends up with an erection and, basically, we can't close the lid of your husband's coffin."
wife.. "Well, what can you do?"
u/t.. "We can get a special coffin made that is about 3" taller than standard but it will cost you an extra $500."
wife.. "I can't afford that. Can't you do something to solve the problem which is a little less expensive?"
The undertaker thinks for a second, then makes a suggestion.
u/t.. "We could remove his penis."
wife.. "Hang on, I want him all there, together in his coffin when we bury him. I don't want bits of him lying around."
u/t.. "No worries, we can remove his penis and insert it in his rectum."
wife.. "OK, but only on 2 conditions. It can't cost any extra and I want to see the body immediately before the funeral."
u/t.. "OK, see you before the funeral."
Scene shifts to the Chapel just before the funeral. The undertaker shows the wife into the back room where they have the guy laid out in the coffin, wearing his best suit, with the make-up on to make him look presentable. The undertaker closes the door of the room behind him as he leaves the wife alone with her dearly departed husband for the last time.
She goes up to her husband's body and silently says her last, private goodbyes. As she is doing this she notices a small tear has trickled out of the corner of his eye and spoiled the make-up. She looks around to see if anyone else is in the room. When she knows she is there by herself, she bends down and whispers in her husband's ear, "Bloody hurts, doesn't it?"
