Duct tape, gaffer tape, tank tape... they all do the same job. They tape things down... tight!
Dave walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.
"Well," says Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but was too shy to?"
"Yes," replies Dave with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up. "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Dave. "When are you going out?"
"Well, I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible." says Dave.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest, sexiest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
Paul slumps back over the bar again. "I kicked her in the face."
