[Lola22]

Hi Lettie...I hope that you can help me with this,I shant go into all the horrid detail's,but,in 1992,when I was 16 year's old,I was raped by this boy,in my unoffical foster family,and they let him,I was drugged,and knew what was happening,but,I didn't have the strenght to stop him,because of whatever it was they gave me made me fell very sick,dizzy,tired,and weak.I got pregnant from that rape.The mother of the boy that raped me was going through the menopause,but wanted a baby girl,and she had two son's.I had a baby boy,and I had him early,as I was physically assaulted,and fell a bit on my tummy,I tried to break the fall,but,I couldn't completely.I had my baby when he was about 7 month's,I gave birth to him at their house,as I weren't even allowed to tell a doctor that I was pregnant,as in the mother of the boy that raped me word's,"I don't want you blackening the name of my son".I gave birth on either September 2nd,or,September 3rd,1992.There was another woman there,she was either a midwife,or,was someone that had basic nurse training.I was a bit stressed,as my little boy was covered in this white stuff,what I now know to be Vernix,and I asked the woman that was there what it was,and she told me thet it was to protect babies skin when they are in the womb.I held my baby boy in my arm's,he was breathing just fine,and I was looking into his adorable eye's,and he squeezed my little finger,and I thought that he could squeeze tight for a new baby.He was about 16 inche's from head to foot,and he weighed about 3lb's.He was taken off me,to be,what I thought,cleaned-up of the vernix.I was then told that he had died.They,the family made me hold,what I now know to have been a fake gfuneral,at the bottom of their back garden,and I was told not to look in the box,to remember him as he was,not as he is now,and that frightened me,so,I didn't look.I didn't go to the police,as there was no doctor's record's that I'd been pregnant,and no record that I'd had my little boy,and the October before,in 1991,I'd been seriously let down by the police,as my father's masonic police mate's let him get away with sexual abuse,and rape of me,on at least 3 count's,and attempted murder of me,so,I thought that they wouldn't help me.And,I no longer had a social worker,and I'd had a very bad experience with social service's,and I felt like that they wouldn't help me either.In 2009 I found out that there is a test that can be done to determine that a woman is the mother of a child.I know that my little boy didn't die.I also know that this family that did this to me,abandoned my little boy,as they were concerned that they wouldn't get away with it,a baby turning -up,when they didn't have a daughter,and the mother of the boy that had raped me was going through the menopause,and was down as such,as she was on medication from her doctor.I have now been to the police,and I'm really hoping to get in contact with my son,and to get some justice for the both of us.I hope that you can help,Thank-you,Lola xx