Strictly on the subject of Heinz baked beans, here are some words of wisdom I learnt at my grandad's knee:
Let the wind blow free
Where ever you be.
In church or chaple,
Let it rattle.
And:
A fart is a gust of wind that gives your belly ease.
It warms the bed in winter, and drives away the fleas.
My grandma's usual respose went something like: Don't be tellin t'lad stuff like that. He'll grow up to be a bad 'un. He'll be in t'boozer every neet.
Could never quite follow her logic, but I can't fault her prescience
