[Guinness]

Tories are doing just fine for me.

(i) Kids are grown up.(no worries about child benefit)
(ii) I'm in good health. (no worries about the NHS)
(ii) I have a job. (no worries about being forced to do pretend work for my benefits)
(iv) I ain't a pensioner. (no worries about tax benefits being frozen)
(v) I don't have a disabled dependant. (no worries about funding being frozen and cut)
(vi) Personal tax bill has gone down ( because of (ii), (iv) and (v) )
(vii) I smoke (but get cheap tobacco that will continue to roll in because funding for Customs and Exicise is frozen)
(viii) I drink (but I know the multi-millionaire supermarket chairmen will sort out pricing over dinner at No. 10)
(ix) I can train people of any age to work for me for free under the apprenticeship scheme and pay them apprentice wages
(x) I'm not old and infirm (no worries about being sat in my own faeces waiting for underfunded care staff missing my 30 minute, toileting, medicating, bathing, cooking, feeding and house cleaning slot)

Unfortunately I had to queue up to fill my Ronson lighter today...but hey I guess we are all in it together so I'll just grin and bear it