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talentedbutslow 14-06-2006 17:52

Internet relationships
 
Came across this by chance.....we are not all 16 yrs old here..but some of the advice and reasoning here is apt for persons of whatever age...who are contemplating a full fledged net relationship.....This girl shows an admirable degree of common sense.....



I am nearly 16 years of age and i have already been in quite a few relationships. I must admit most were developed from the internet but some did blossom into real life. From my experiences of internet relationships i can't say because i didn't end up with any of the guys in the past that they were all a waste of time. They happened to teach me a lot about fake feelings and real feelings. After being in these relationships with guys who were always older than me (between 17-21) All of my relationships with these guys failed but in the end i was able to learn so much about myself and set my standards even higher. I began to understand that an internet relationship isn't just something you do for fun. Commitments are vital for these kinds of relationships. When you take on this kind of relationship you have to accept all the problems that may come with it, those problems can be..the distance; you may live very far from the person you like and it is always best to discuss how you would handle the distance if anything was to progress in this relationship. Will one of you sacrifice everything to move to the other. It would be terrible to continue a long distance internet relationship and then suddenly find out one day the person you are involved with can't handle the distance anymore and wants to call it quits. Talk about this with them and make sure that they are sure they can handle it before going any further. You will find if the other person cannot handle it then they were never being truthful about their feelings for you in the first place. Honesty; Are both of you being honest with each other. You can never really know for sure but it is always a risk you take on whether you trust the person or not. Not much can be done for this until the day you can meet the person. I suggest you be honest the whole way through otherwise both people can end up hurt and disappointed. I am currently talking to a guy who lives in another state of Australia (Sydney where i have for the last two years planned to move to and study there) We have made a great friendship and been honest with each other about what we want from this experience. We must wait another year and a half till i can move to be where he is but i have told him i will be able to wait that long to be with him and he has said the same. At the moment i feel sad to not be able to be where he is but i am also happy to know the person he is. In a matter of months i may be meeting him for the first time and that will be my chance to know whether everything i feel for him now through voice and words is just as real in reality. Some people can say internet relationships are a waste of time and maybe they are depending on how seriously you take one. If you want it to work out try your hardest, let the person know what you want from them and be honest. If things don't work out accept it as a learning experience and be wiser for next time. There is always a first time for everything, and a second, and a third, and so on....however many times it takes for you to get it right.

Tal

talentedbutslow 14-06-2006 17:54

Re: Internet relationships
 
As a footnote.....I met my new wife on the net 3 yrs ago......:)

slinky 14-06-2006 18:06

Re: Internet relationships
 
Hmmmmm........ :D :D

Gayle 14-06-2006 19:26

Re: Internet relationships
 
Whilst I accept that the girl in question is being sensible, is it still not a bit concerning that she has been having relationships with some of the men who were aged between 17-21?

slinky 14-06-2006 20:09

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle
Whilst I accept that the girl in question is being sensible, is it still not a bit concerning that she has been having relationships with some of the men who were aged between 17-21?

The girl is 16 so therefor i think 17-21 is quite reasonable, its better than a pervy 50 year old trying it on with her.

Tinkerbelle 14-06-2006 20:09

Re: Internet relationships
 
I think it's more concerning that at 16 years of age shes sat at a pc hoping to find Mr Right instead of being out with her mates enjoying life! I did actually find that very disturbing, it just seems wrong. :(

talentedbutslow 14-06-2006 20:30

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
its better than a pervy 50 year old trying it on with her.

wonders if slinky is looking at me???.......:D

Tinkerbelle 14-06-2006 20:32

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by talentedbutslow
wonders if slinky is looking at me???.......:D

Just think yourself lucky you don't have to look at her chick! ;) :D

slinky 14-06-2006 20:36

Re: Internet relationships
 
Cheeky Cheeky..........................nothing against 50 year olds, but alot against 50 year olds chasing 16 year olds lol:rolleyes:

Tinkerbelle 14-06-2006 20:38

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
Cheeky Cheeky..........................nothing against 50 year olds, but alot against 50 year olds chasing 16 year olds lol:rolleyes:

You still got the emotional scarring from being turned down by the chappy after nearly 10 years slink? Jeez get over it he was to old for you .... :D

slinky 14-06-2006 20:43

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle
You still got the emotional scarring from being turned down by the chappy after nearly 10 years slink? Jeez get over it he was to old for you .... :D

he only turned me down cos his older brother went with you and said you was crap in the sack:rolleyes:

Tinkerbelle 14-06-2006 20:46

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
he only turned me down cos his older brother went with you and said you was crap in the sack:rolleyes:

Ahh crap yes but he did still say I was better than you ;)

slinky 14-06-2006 20:49

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle
Ahh crap yes but he did still say I was better than you ;)


I only tried ironing his wrinkles!! but hey if you was better than me you was better than me:rolleyes:

cherokee 14-06-2006 20:55

Re: Internet relationships
 
Im not saying all intenet relationships are a bad thing but not all net relationships are good either. i know someone who met her partner on the net and he came across to her friends and family as the bees knees for the first few months then turned into a lying cheating dishonest layabout by which time she was besotted and brainwashed . It is sad to see a young girl sat at a pc with relationships in mind an in my day would be out enjoying themselves but donsent that speak for the youth of today when internet and chat rooms are the most important things and as for the mates they are most likely sat at home doing the same as the girl .

Tinkerbelle 14-06-2006 20:57

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by slinky
I only tried ironing his wrinkles!!

Typo error .......... :D

slinky 14-06-2006 20:58

Re: Internet relationships
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle
Is that the new terminology for to smooth out the wrinkles :D

yes it could be:rolleyes: gotcha hahaha

Madhatter 15-06-2006 02:36

Re: Internet relationships
 
A lot of people trapped in the wrong relationship meet on the net, sometimes both are, and it takes a lot of trust for each to commit to each other and leave the past behind. Because of the situation it's very easy to lose trust part way in, not just because of the past relationship that lingering there but because they're often still chatting to others on the net. It's very easy to get jelous and lose trust. It's also very easy for others to get jelous and put the knife in, the past partner and others on the net.
In my experience most people are either addicted to the net and therefore they'll always get bored and go back on there and start looking again or the theirs an 'ex' in there or even a partner.
I've learned a lot in the past 7 months, it took a few people to get it to sink in what happened but I see it now. It would never have worked.

WillowTheWhisp 15-06-2006 06:37

Re: Internet relationships
 
That may sound like sensible advice from a 16 year old but there are a couple of things she maybe hasn't considered.

When you chat to someone online, even if they have a webcam and a mike and you can see and hear them you still haven't really got a natural situation. It's easy for people to put on an act on the net. Also if you are chatting to someone long distance then you are less likely to know anyone else who knows them which means they can pretend to be something they are not and there's no-one around to make you any the wiser.

A few years ago someone I "knew" on AOL from the quizzes (I still miss those quizzes) found a "boyfriend" in a chatroom. They only contacted each other by IM or chatted in the rooms. He didn't have a webcam, although she did, so she never saw him. Eventually she found out that he had lied to her about his age and was 20 years older than he'd claimed to be!

Last summer we watched a TV documentary about two young lads who had formed a friendship on the net and yet there were sinister undertones and one almost talked the other one into murder. I know that's extreme but it was frightening how the friendship developed in such a way that the gullible lad was sucked deeper and deeper in without realising that what he was ending up doing was totally out of character.

Then there's the point about arranging to meet someone you've chatted to online. I know it's a cliche but for all you know they could be a mad axe-man(woman) or a pervert. It's better to meet on neutral ground in a busy place.

Having said that I know that people do "meet" online and do form lasting relationships so it isn't all doom and gloom and maybe it's easier to chat by typing than to talk to someone face to face in a first meeting.

garinda 15-06-2006 12:52

Re: Internet relationships
 
She said she's at present nearly sixteen, meaning she's now fifteen, and that for a couple of years that she has had 'relationships' with these older men she met over the internet.

If any of my female relatives were aged thirteen and meeting men to have 'relationships' with them, I'd be very worried.


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