Originally Posted by Less (Post 595348)

Warning the following thoughts are all my own and can't be blamed on stealing them from another website.

Sorry girls if you think it's a bit prejudiced but I can only look on this from a male point of view.

For The Relationship
1/ Well, obviously sex!

He always knows his place when I have a headache.

2/ Waking in the middle of the night and listening to your partner sleeping contentedly.

Those quite moments between grunts, farts and snores

3/ Getting pins & needles in your arm because she's fallen asleep on it and you don't want to disturb her.

Great pretending you are asleep, and to know he is suffering on your behalf ... aaah


4/ Sunday Lunch whether eating at home or going out to a restaurant.

Having someone to wash up, and a chauffeur allowing you to have some wine whilst going to a restaurant

5/ Having someone to discuss the ups and downs of the day.

Love it when he listens about my shopping trips, all the ups and downs on those escalators

6/ Going on holiday together.

Someone to reach that last spot on yer back that is illusive to your sun cream

7/ Sharing those little moments when you both seem to know exactly what the other wants to do.

Sex again

8/ Buying that 'big item', you've both been saving hard for.

Choosing a new conservatory for me to sit in whilst he is at work

9/ Saying, "I love You".

Knowing I can use this tactic when I want that new dress

10/ Having someone say, "I love You".

He said it back ! ... definitely, going to get that dress now

Against The Relationship

1/ That age old battle of the sexes, seat up/seat down, what the heck if I can manage the technology of lifting it surely you can learn to put it down without shouting at me.

Not noticing he has left the blooming seat up again and plonk down on the basin finishing up with bruises on me bum

2/ Fighting your way into the bathroom through dripping tights and other bizarre items.

Fighting for items like new dryer

3/ Cutting yourself shaving because she's used your razor to do her legs AGAIN!

Not getting angry because he refuses to get rid of his cut throat razor

4/ Opening the bathroom cabinet to find it was booby trapped so that all the tampons spill out over the floor.

Enough room in the bathroom cabinet to keep all my personal items like night/day/body lotion/conditioner, etc

5/ Spending three days a month constantly apologising but never knowing why, (although she does give a slight clue as she wanders around the house cursing all men).

Never needing to say sorry to anyone so they won't sulk

6/ Spending one day a month, (usually just after the other three), ducking behind the settee to avoid all the sharp/heavy objects being thrown your way.

No target practice/knife throwing lessons anymore

7/ Being grounded like a teenager because, you came home an hour later than you said you would from the pub.

No working yourself to a high blood pressure level waiting for the dirty stop out to come home. Much better for health



8/ Getting a real telling off because you drew an extra tenner out of your account, but not being allowed to criticise when you find she drew £30 to buy some shoes, because they were a bargain!

Having to go through verbal diatribe to explain why a new pair of shoes is necessary

9/ When she talks to her friends about your intimate and personal problems in front of you as if you weren't there!

Having to describe to your friends,due to lacking in one particularly physical area, sex not too good

10/ Well, obviously sex!

See Number 9

O.K. I'm sure there is a female equivalent of this so over to you, Ladies.

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/love/love0007.gif

Originally Posted by katex (Post 596204)

Eeeew, what ya' do with apples then ? Never heard of that one .. :eek:

Originally Posted by accyman (Post 596198)

i miss not having anyone to share my farts under the duvet :D

apart from that i usaly cook for myself , enjoy my solitude and you dont need a relationship to get sex

sorry girls but im still bitter from that apple incident all them years ago :D

Originally Posted by accyman (Post 596209)

provide grip for the bannana for the losser lady :eek:


18 section here we come :D

Originally Posted by emamum23 (Post 596207)

lol katex.... adam and eve ring any bells ;):D

Originally Posted by emamum23 (Post 596211)

hmm.....wonder why you are single:p:D:rolleyes:

Originally Posted by accyman (Post 596215)

or it could possibly be an attitude problem :idunno:

Originally Posted by accyman (Post 596209)

provides grip for the bannana with the looser lady :eek:


18 section here we come :D

Originally Posted by katex (Post 596218)

how naive am I ... :(

Originally Posted by accyman (Post 596219)

cough ** bollox** cough lol ;)