Accrington Web - 2017/18 Prediction League; Game 9 v Cheltenham Town (home)

Accrington Stanley

Cheltenham Town

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 9 v Cheltenham (home)

How fickle are the Gods of League Two Football ? ……..89 minutes on the clock, and Wycombe – courtesy of a thumping header from You Fat Bastard – are coasting to a 1-0 win at home to Luton (who – along with our good selves – are the only team to have scored 17 goals in League Two so far this season); Wycombe lie fourth at that moment, on 14 points (provisional), and Luton down around 14th on 11 points …………………then Wycombe nod off at the back, and Luton score twice, on 90 mins (Cuthbert - not the one from the Trumpton Fire Brigade) and 98 minutes (Collins) and suddenly The Hatters are fourth, and Wycombe are 12th …………………… and the Silly Season on Sackings has started, you’ll have seen; Harry Redknapp’s been replaced at Birmingham – well, he’s moved out so that the new incumbent can have somewhere to sit when appointed (and I assume his dog – the one with the Swiss Bank account - has gone too)…………. And Gary Caldwell’s been sacked by 23rd placed Chesterfield (after 8 months, and with just 3 wins in 29 games), and bottom side Port Vale have “parted company” with manager Michael Brown after a season of one win (3-1 v Grimsby), one draw (1-1 against The Vegans) and six losses, only one of which they managed to score in (never end a sentence with a preposition unless there’s nothing else to end it with) ……….. The technical difference between “parted company” and “sacked” escapes me, frankly …………………… and AFC Fylde drew on Saturday at Eastleigh (“The Spitfires”), that being their 6th draw in 11 ……………….. a run of results bettered – if that’s the right word - only by Ebbsfleet (“Own the club, pick the team!”), who’ve won once, lost once and drawn their remaining NINE games in the Bananarama Conference, which leaves them 19th, on 12 points with a zero GD, sandwiched between Barrow (+1) and The Coasters (-2) ………. And Torquay prop up the table in 24th with no wins and four draws in their 11 games ……. And Orient are 13th and Hartlepool 15th ……….

The Robins finished last season in 21st place in the League Two table with a 12-14-20 record, 50 points (4 points above relegated Hartlepool) and a -20 GD. They also finished the season with a 6-1 hammering at Pompey (which contributed to the Fleet Air Arm winning League Two) ………………indeed, CTFC may well have saved themselves the slide down the Relegation Escalator by winning 3 and drawing 2 of their last 7 games, the wins including Yer Actual Six-Pointer, as they demolished The MonkeyHangars 1-0 at home …..ok, they maybe didn’t “demolish” them, but you get the picture …………. They also took four points off us – one apiece at ours (El Tel with the goal), and 0-3 at theirs, our “nil” including one of Scott Brown’s Early Baths; that said, they did the double over Morecambe (3-1 at home and 2-1 away) and Crewe, so maybe we didn’t do so badly after all ……………. Yes we did!

Currently – and here’s a coincidence! – they lie in 21st place in the League Two table for this season (perhaps they just like being 21st?) with two wins, one draw and five losses (or, if you include the EFL Cup and the EFLTroffy, seven losses) ……….. the wins were 1-0 at home to Crawley and 3-1 at home to Colchester, the draw – their only away point – was in a goalless Desmond at Yeovil; can you have a goalless Desmond? (Mind you, you're talking to the bloke who recently asked a Church Warden if you could give up Lent for Lent ………) Away defeats at Morecambe (1-2), Carlisle (0-3) and Newport (0-1) ………… on the road, then, one point from 12, GF 1, GA 6 …………………….

Twelve Sober Men and True left Whaddon Road in the summer with their boots in the obligatory red-spotted handkerchief tied to a stick; one – Billy Waters (who scored 16 times last season) – refused a new contract and went to the Cobblers (“they’ll be ready next week, Sir”); two (including Asa Hall) went to Barrow, two went to York, and others joined Torquay, Leyton Orient, Wrexham, Aldershot, Hartlepool and Evesham, and one – Calum Kitscha - is unattached (= no girlfriend) ………oh, and one man went to mow a meadow (with his dog, and a bottle of pop and a sausage roll ………….)

They paid quite a few groats and some bawbees (well, £undisclosed) to Hibernian (which, despite them being an Edinburgh team, is actually the Latin name for Ireland!) for defender Jordan Foster ………. They also got striker Brian Graham (29, with a history which includes six other Scottish teams as well as Hibs) from Easter Road, but he was a freebie ………. GK Scott Flinders (29, Barnsley, Palace, Hartlepool and York) arrived from Macclesfield, French-born DMF Nigel Alfred Steven Atangana (unusual first names for a Frenchman!) came West from the Orient (Leyton, of course) via various 5th-tier French sides and Havant and Waterlooville, Kevin Dawson signed from Yeovil, much-travelled defender Jamie Grimes from Dover, Jaanai Gordon from the Hammers, Mohamed Eisa from Greenwich (where I gather he had a Mean Time - oh come on, do keep up! :D) and 21 year-old forward Jerell Sellars – whose League experience comes from 8 games on loan at the Chairboys – arrived from Aston Villa …………and they didn’t pay for any of them either ………. They’ve also raided Bristol Citties’ changing rooms for three loanees, including Welsh u19 international MF Joe Morrell, and Wolves have coughed up GK Jon Flatt for the season …………. I think someone’s hijacked his Wikipedia page, though, because it says of him (he’s 23 and 5’ 7” – or so it claims)

• On the 6th July 2017 Jonny made his England debut, coming on as a half time substitute saving an unstoppable free kick from 30 yards out. He also managed to score three goals on his debut and yes he was in goal.

They won the Leamington Hospital Cup in 1934/35 (thought you’d want to know that), and later that year (November 35) they recorded their best-ever win, 12-0 over Chippenham Rovers in the 3rd Qualifying Round of the FA Cup; they actually made the First Round Proper that year, drawing 0-0 at Brighton and getting thumped 0-6 in the replay (Brighton lost 2-1 at Fulham in Round 3, and Fulham lost to the Blades in the Semi-Final, if you really want to know) ……… their record defeat (1-10) was inflicted by Merthyr Tydfil in 1952 ……. The most they’ve ever paid for a player – cheapskates! - was the £60k they gave Aldershot for Jermaine McGlashan (who stayed for 2 ½ years, then went to Gillingham, and is now with Southend) ………. The club mascot is a funny-looking bird (with wings and a beak, before you ask) called Whaddney ….. related, probably, to Del Boy ………………..

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 23rd September ………… If we concentrate, we can do this – can’t we, Lads ……………so concentrate! Stanley for the Cup (as well) – that’s what I say …………..but then, I am a bit low on me pills ……………………

Good luck to everyone! ……………. Keep the Faith! …………. And thanks for playing!

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