Accrington Web - 2018/19 Prediction League; Game 31 v Scunthorpe (away)

Scunthorpe United

Accrington Stanley

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 31 v Scunthorpe Utd (away)

Scunthorpe is the Administrative Centre for North Lindsay, and has a population of slightly over 82,000; their highest League attendance so far this season involves some 5% of them going to watch “The Iron” (see below), less any away fans; it’s the biggest town in Lincolnshire after Grimsby and Lincoln ................. The area has been involved in the iron industry since the 10th Century, apparently, and the major employers there are (or were in 2012) Tata Steel, thus showing Scunnie to be a place where the populace can truthfully be said to iron and steel (“Me Mother irons and me Father steals”). There’s an oft-repeated myth that the Football Club (now bereft of the “and Lindsay” bit in its name) is nicknamed “The Iron”, because of the region’s iron ore associations, but in fact – and this is little known – the Club is locally referred to as “The Ironing”, in tribute to the many hardy Lincolnshire Ladies who took in the pressing of shirts, sheets, shifts and smalls for payment ................ a tradition built up over some years whereby any defeat of the Town Footie Team by 3 or more goals became known as “Doing the Ironing” – hence the expression now used by us all ............

There are two other “Irons” in football; Braintree Town (because of its association with the Crittall Window Company, which makes no sense), and also the Hammers, because of the team’s origins as the football team of the Thames Ironworks ................... and did you know that Bournemouth (without the Boscombe) are apparently called “The Cherries” because their ground was built on what used to be a Cherry Orchard? Chekov would have been livid! And if you believe any of that you’re softer i’th ‘ead than I thinked you were!

The other thing you may want to know is that, according to Home Office data, the area has crime rates higher than the National Average, especially in the categories of violence against the person, sexual offences, burglary and theft of motor vehicles ....................... sounds like an average Saturday night in Burnley to me ......................... but You Have Been Warned ............. This week’s Starter for Ten, then is; Scunthorpe United achieved a record in 1958 which can never be taken from them. What was it?

And how long ago does this seem …………………………..
• “John Coleman's Stanley should have been out of sight at half-time, such was their dominance, but in the end they had to come back from behind to extend their unbeaten run to five games”.

That was actually the BBC report of our home game with the Iron back on September 1st – game 6 - when Plymouth were bottom of the table and the Posh were top …………. Oh how transient is fame! Or, as the Scunnie Town Motto has it, “Get that down yer neck” ............... no, sorry; “Refulget labores nostros coelum”, which you’ll all immediately have translated, quite correctly, as “The heavens reflect our labours” (try telling that to Coley after the last few goalless red-carded games ................)

As I mentioned back in late August, Scunnie finished last season in 5th, but bombed out of the Playoffs against the Millers; this season has been one of two-and-a-bit halves ................well, probably three or four halves. After 4 games they had a W1 D1 L2 record and were 18th; they won 3 and drew four of their next seven, and were 9th; there next 13 games resulted in one win, one draw and eleven losses, and they were 23rd (on Boxing Day, as well!); they scored 11 goals in those 13 games, including scoring none in the last five .................. Then they found some form (or Appeased the Voodoo Gods of Football), because they won five and drew one of their next six, before Barnsley beggared that up last time out ................. and speaking of Barnsley, they now sit 2nd on 59 points, six behind The Louts and one ahead of Pompey, whose slide down the table starts to match Walsall’s ............... The Wombles in 24th are starting to thrutch, with 1 point from the last 15; Shrewsbury, the Stanley and Coventry have 2 each from 15, and It Won’t Do, Sir, It Won’t Do .................

Winger Yasin Ben El-Mhanni arrived in late October from The Toon, followed by a plethora (which is a posh word for “a lot”) in January; Kevin van Veen, a striker from the Cobblers (who sold Matt Crooks, did you see?); RW Adam Hammell came in from St Helen Mirren (so there’s Yasin’s chances of a place in the starting line-up gone down the pan) ......... CBs Harrison McGahey and Byron Webster (from Rochdale and Millwall respectively) came to add some Steel to the Iron .......... or some Iron to the Steel ............ LW Jordan Hallam joined from The Blades (and Hallam is in Sheffield – or he was) ............ and CB Jacob Bedeau came from the Villa .............. GK Matt Gilks went out, ProperSigned by the Imps (also from Lincolnshire, you’ll see) ............ Couple of LoansIn; RB Tony McMahon from Oxford, and LB Tom Pearce from Leeds, who had to walk to training this week, because he’d lent somebody his Grey Mare .........…(Actually, it was to a mate of his called Allalong Downalong Outalong Lee)

Glandford Park isn’t a Fortress this season; P15 W4 D5 L6 GF21 GA31; away form is better – a bit; P16 W6 D2 L8 GF17 GA 25 for a combined P31 W10 D7 L14 GF38 GA56 for 37 points and 14th place ......... they’re one place above us, one point better off, with a worse GD (-9 plays -18) and we’ve got three games in hand ............... Ten wins includes doing the double over Coventry. 2-1 each time ............. They went out of the FA Cup in Round 2 (1-0 at the Shrews), and out of the EFL Cup 2-1 at home to Donnie (“When Scunnie Met Donnie”, starring Meg Ryan, set against the Slag Heaps of The Land That God Forgot), and they failed to escape the Group Stages of the EFLTroffy despite doing over Wolves’ Reception Class 4-2 on pens

Lee Novak tops the scoring chart with 11; Stephen Humphreys (did you see he’s leaving the Today programme?) has five, Josh Morris has four, and Charlie Goode ............. well, Charlie NotQuiteAsGoodAsThat............. has three

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 9th February .......well, there you are; a quick scramble through the Hills of the North (Rejoice!) ............... Confucius, he say, “Ball in Onion Bag Worth Three Games in Hand” (except he’d have said it in Chinese)............... say after me, Lads ........... “Ball in Onion Bag .......”. And the record that can never be taken away from Scunnie is that they were, are and always will be the last team ever to win the Third Division North title ................ which is quite near to my heart! And if Ramsbottom can hold AFC Fylde to a 5-5 draw (I wonder whether Enoch and Me played?) we can surely, surely, surely Do The Ironing (see above)?

And I bet you never thought you'd read a PL Thread Opener which mentioned both Chekov and Confucius !:theband:

Good luck to everyone! .................. Keep the Faith! ............ And thanks for playing!”

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