Accrington Web - 2018/19 Prediction League; Game 46 v Porsmouth FC (away)

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Accrington Stanley

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 46 v Portsmouth (away)

The question on everyone’s lips, Chimer, is, “Have you got your tickets for the Last Day at Pompeii (for the right end)?” If you haven’t, you’ll have to get up on your roof with a periscope, or you could try a drone – but that may well get shot down from the Naval Services Dockyard ...........

Bratfud are down .................. Gillingham are safe, but (just in case) they fired their manager on Friday anyway (funny name for a manager – On Friday) ........ some people apparently name their kids according to where they were conceived – you know, Brooklyn, Denver, Chelsea; I was telling my kids – BackoftheCar and Dining Room Table – about it, but they didn’t seem terribly interested ...................... and of course Plymouth have rewarded Derek Adams for his team’s performances over the season – most recently chez nous – by sacking him too, although two points from eight games, five defeats in a row with 15 goals conceded, and a one-chance Avoid the Greasy Pole shoot-out with the Iron on Saturday might have made that a foreseeable possibility ……………… But is this a good scenario in which to sack your manager? Discuss ………………..

And if Chimer thought his “either/or” was complicated – try this; any three of five - Scunthorpe (23rd, 46 points and -29 GD); Walsall (22nd, 49, -22); Plymouth (21st, 47, -25); Southend (20th, 47, -14); and the Wombles (19th, 49, -21); - can still go down (and three of them plus Bratfud play other relegation candidates; Scunthorpe go to Plymouth (who’ll both GreasyPole if they draw), and the Wombles are at resurgent Bradford (who went to the Iron, were 3-0 up inside 15 minutes, and spent the rest of the game trying to lose, but failed 3-2)) ................... then Walsall are at Shrewsbury (who saved their own bacon while cooking Coventry’s goose, if I may mix my culinary metaphors, with a half-Desmond on Sunday), Southend entertain Sunderland (maybe), and Wycombe – who are safe on GD saving for a Bon Accord v Arbroath-type score line - play Fleetwood at Adam’s Park (nice lad, Adam)............. and Joey Barton is Innocent OK!

If Scunthorpe, Walsall and Plymouth lose or draw they’ll each be relegated (unless Plymouth draw and Southend lose, in which case it’s Southend)
If Scunthorpe win, Plymouth will go down, but the Iron would also need both Walsall and Southend to lose or draw before they (Scunny) could stay up; if Southend win, Scunthorpe would go down even with a victory
If Walsall win they’ll be safe provided Plymouth and Southend lose or draw
If Plymouth lose they’re down; if they draw they’ll go down unless Southend lose. If Plymouth win they’ll stay up unless Southend win and the Wombles draw or win (if the Wombles draw and Plymouth win by four goals then Plymouth will stay up on GS)
If Southend lose and Plymouth draw or win, Southend are relegated; they’d also go if Plymouth lost and either Walsall or Scunthorpe won
If Southend draw (bear in mind they’re against the BlackMoggies) they need Plymouth to lose, and Walsall and Scunthorpe not to win. If Southend win they’re safe by virtue of a better GD than any of the other three teams below them
The Wombles will go if they lose at Bratfud, and any two of Walsall, Plymouth and Southend win – Walsall would then have a better GD
Wycombe technically need a point, but even if they lose, and Plymouth win, they’re still ok on GD (-13 plays -25)

I think ............................

Portsmouth’s greatest claims to fame are (1) that Mr and Mrs Chimer live there, and (2) that Mike Oldfield played a tune about the place on some tubular balls, or something ………… The Romans built Portus Adurni, a fort, at nearby Portchester in the late third century. The city's Old English name "Portesmuða" is derived from port, meaning a haven (or an alcoholic beverage), and muða, the mouth of a large river or estuary. It apparently has the world’s oldest dry dock, has a claim to being the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution, was the most heavily fortified town in the world (but only when the fleet was in), is the second-busiest port in the UK (after Dover), used to have its own airport (but that closed in 1973), and is also the birthplace of Charles Dickens and Isambard Kingdom Brunel ………….. and Chimer lives there ………………..

Portsmouth FC have only lost 7 of their 44 League games so far this season, but they contrived to lose twice to Charlton (2-1 both times) and twice to Gillingham (2-0 both times) ……… and their other three defeats (1-0 at home to Blackpool, 2-1 at Oxford and 3-2 at Luton) came in consecutive games back in January; their half-Desmond at Sunderland last time out ended a spell of seven consecutive wins, during which they scored 18 and conceded 7 …………. They also won four on the spin twice earlier in the season, and they put five past Fleetwood away (5-2), also stuffing Bradford 5-1 at Chimer’s Place, and scoring four twice in the League, 4-1 at home to both Oxford and Rochdale. If that wasn’t enough, they put four past Maidenhead in the FA Cup (4-0), and did the same again Gillingham (see “lost twice” above) (also 4-0) in the group stages of the EFLTroffy which – of course – they won 5-4 on pens after a WembleyDesmond (you don’t see a lot of those!) against Slumberland ……

Home record is W12 D6 L3 GF39 GA18, and away it’s W13 D6 L4 GF41 GA29, giving a combined total of P44 W25 D12 L7 GF80 GA47 for 87 points and 3rd place ……………. They’re four points behind the LambChops with a game in hand (Tuesday, at home to the Posh), and Barnsley have a trip to Brizzle to end the season …………. A win puts Barnsley up in the Auto spots; if they draw and Pompey win both their games (flying pigs they will!), then Pompey go up; if Barnsley lose, Pompey need four points and a +9 goal swing, or alternatively two wins …………

Over the Transfer Window they ProperSigned Rochdale RB Andy Cannon and Shrews DM Bryn Morris; they also LoanSigned strikers Omar Bogle and James Vaughan from Cardiff and Wigan, plus two LWs (who needs two LWs?) Lloyd Isgrove from Barnsley and Viv Solomon-Otabor from the Brummies ………….. Strong Safety Conor Chaplin was sold to Coventry, and CM Danny Rose to Swindon, and lots went out on loan – five of them to Bognor Regis Town (who finished 14th in the Isthmian League Premier Division, which – as you’ll know – was won by Dorking Wanderers) …………… there are 16 names on their list of goal scorers, headed by Jamal Lowe with 16, Ronan Curtis (wasn’t he in one of them Boy Bands?) and Brett Pittman with 11 each and Gareth Evans with 10 …………………… 80 scored in the League, one in the EFL Cup (against the Wombles, who scored two), seven in the FA Cup (the run halted 2-0 by QPR at Shepherd’s Bush after a half-Desmond on the coast), and 18 more in the EFLTroffy (see “won it” above) ………….. 106 scored in all competitions (#wishwecoulddothat)

So there it is; a rollercoaster season, but triumphant in the end, and still punching above our weight ………….. huge congratulations to Sir Andy Holt, Professor John Coleman and Lord Jimmy Bell, plus the players, staff, fans, supporters (apparently supporters aren’t fans but fans are supporters, I was told), mascots and to anybody whose second team – and there will be zillions of them – is the Unbelievable Stanley ……………. And here’s to next season!

And my huge, huge thanks to Chimer – the only bloke I know who can make maths sound interesting (and you should see what he can do with a pie chart!) - for his erudite and funny summations after the games (I couldn't do this without him), and to all of you for the craic, occasional abuse, and for giving me something to do at silly o’clock in the morning, trying to get the thread up before the game’s been played ………. And I’ve just found out that this is the end of our NINTH season of doing this drivel – 414 threads, not counting updates on games which are Somersetted by the weather and such like ………….. and I don’t know who’s the dafter – us for doing it or you for reading it and playing along!

414! Someone needs to get a life ………………and I think it’s me and him! And if you want 46 more next year, sign your name in the usual place and we’ll see what we can do …………….. Thank you for your company, thank you for the fun, see if you can bring a mate to play next season, because we don’t have the players that we used to …………………… and UP THE STANLEY!

Good luck to everyone! ……………. Keep the Faith! …………….. And thanks for playing!

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