Newbies

hairylee · 26-10-2012, 17:55

Hi, I thought it was a good idea I saw recently that a newbie gets an automatic signature or avatar which says, I am a Newbie, please be nice. I have seen a couple of responsive posts lately where people are not being very nice to new people even though these people are stating they are new. Just because you are grumpy gives you no right to be mean or moody with a new poster. I mean what are we trying to do, make it a one or two person forum. At this rate of going there wont be a site for people to post on, cause like me of recent I have kept away due to the fact you always get a few which, for some reason decide to make comment on something in a very very negative way. I can bet your bottom dollar if I stood face to face you wouldnt dare say some of the things that are said on here, directly to me. Its all well and good hiding on your little computer sometimes.

Basically my point is we want to keep this forum alive and the odd few grumps are potentially putting newbies off.

Margaret Pilkington · 26-10-2012, 18:43

while I appreciate what you are saying, the forum has always(in my memory anyway) had comments like yours levelled at it......and lo, it is still here.(and I'm not getting at you when I say this - just pointing out a fact)
Sometimes the newbies bring it upon themselves by trying to dictate how they think the forum should be.
Personally, I try to be helpful (where possible) to all members of the forum.

It isn't real life, and if the new folks find it difficult on here, then how do they make out in real life?

hairylee · 26-10-2012, 18:57

I wouldn't take anything you say personally Margaret

I've learned that by now. I know what you are saying, but when someone posts and the thread is old but they might not have noticed (not offay, with using a web forum) someone comments saying it helps if you read the whole thread, when some threads go on and on and on. if you aint got owt useful or nice to say, don't open yer pie ole x

Margaret Pilkington · 26-10-2012, 20:06

I think it helps to observe the forum for a little while before jumping in.
Learn who the grumpy burgers are.(life is full of them - it is just how they are)
Read some of the old threads, find out how the search facility works...and ask an established member for advice...or the mods for that matter. It isn't always about being 'au fait' with web forums either...it is a combination of things.

And if all that fails and someone thinks they have been treated badly, then the moderators are always there to smooth the path...but, and this is a big but..it isn't baby school.

The internet is not a great media to nuances across and sometimes people take the huff over very little.

Sunflower49 · 26-10-2012, 20:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I think it helps to observe the forum for a little while before jumping in.
Learn who the grumpy burgers are

I am now picturing a burger with a HUGE frown on its 'face'.

Hairylee, I don't think it's a bad idea-I don't suppose it will be welcomed or approved on here, though. I think it would suit better a forum which was aimed at one subject in particular-so that if somebody is new to a certain subject they can ask questions or speak about things and not be mocked or ridiculed for not knowing a lot?

This forum seems to be (I'm relatively new myself!) a more 'general' forum just focused on a certain local area.

I agree Margaret-have often thought myself, if somebody takes offence or gets very upset, over somebody being nasty with them on an internet forum, then how must they cope with the difficult things life throws at us.

I also think this can be applied to 'real life', getting upset over what strangers think of them, generally. I don't think this means that it's okay to be horrible on a forum, particularly in cases where there is absolutely no basis for it. I'm not a 'nasty' person, and those who are really harsh with others on forums, I sometimes wonder why.

I think I behave pretty much the same online as I do in real life-and I don't tend to like people who are nasty for no reason, in person or online.

What confuses me a lot is, some people I have met after knowing them online, or have known personally then view their behaviour on the internet, and each is a COMPLETELY different persona!THAT, I do NOT get my head around!

Margaret Pilkington · 26-10-2012, 21:15

I try to be as courteous as possible...after all, courtesy costs nothing...and bad manners just show you up to be an uncouth person....but(there is always a but, isn't there?)...it is really easy to get carried away when you are passionate about something...especially if that 'something' is local and affects your life.
There is also the phenomenon of 'mirroring'....which is where you get back the attitude you gave out......same as in real life. If you post something which has an angry or aggressive tone...then you get back anger and aggression....and sometimes the reader will read something which they perceive to have an angry or aggressive tone when that wasn't what the poster meant at all.
It all becomes very tangled, very confusing......and sometimes very acrimonious.

But, Hey...it's not real.

cashman · 26-10-2012, 21:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairylee

Hi, I thought it was a good idea I saw recently that a newbie gets an automatic signature or avatar which says, I am a Newbie, please be nice. I have seen a couple of responsive posts lately where people are not being very nice to new people even though these people are stating they are new. Just because you are grumpy gives you no right to be mean or moody with a new poster. I mean what are we trying to do, make it a one or two person forum. At this rate of going there wont be a site for people to post on, cause like me of recent I have kept away due to the fact you always get a few which, for some reason decide to make comment on something in a very very negative way. I can bet your bottom dollar if I stood face to face you wouldnt dare say some of the things that are said on here, directly to me. Its all well and good hiding on your little computer sometimes.

Basically my point is we want to keep this forum alive and the odd few grumps are potentially putting newbies off.

Well lets be honest here hairylee, yeh have been a member oer 8 years of accyweb n in that time contributed 83 posts, which is fine no problem, But its a bit rich when yer saying if we want to keep this forum alive.

flashy · 27-10-2012, 05:26

Hairylee, you reckon no one would say to peoples faces what they say on here? I wouldn't like to bet on that, i have met quite a few members and every one of them has been the same in person as they have been on here, myself included, if people haven't got the balls to be themselves then why be someone else?

And before you have a rant about me 'getting at you' i'm not, you started a thread which is open to all members to comment on....so i commented

Guinness · 27-10-2012, 07:24

This forum is no different than the local boozer.

You have grumps, bores, mates, people you find interesting and the occasional non-regular.

Just like the pub, some non-regulars enjoy the banter, come back, and become locals others feel that it ain't their cup of tea and go find another pub.

cashman · 27-10-2012, 07:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guinness

This forum is no different than the local boozer.

You have grumps, bores, mates, people you find interesting and the occasional non-regular.

Just like the pub, some non-regulars enjoy the banter, come back, and become locals others feel that it ain't their cup of tea and go find another pub.

And theres always those who tell us all how to improve the forum,

Margaret Pilkington · 27-10-2012, 13:53

Another point which occured to me this morning was, if we adopted the temporary signature....avatar indicating a newbie and asking for 'kindness'(what is that exactly?)
It could have the opposite effect and cause people to bait these new members because of the avatar/signature.

We have all been new.......I would have been mortified if anyone had attached such an avatar or signature to my name as a newbie.

We should all be able to 'hold our own' in both life and on a forum....those who can't do that are poor specimens and need to hold mummy's hand(whatever age they might be).

hairylee · 27-10-2012, 18:35

Cracking, just cracking. This is not the place for me obviously.

Flashy, I wouldn't suggest you were getting at me, taking things a little too personally there? Maybe you have got me wrong?

I may have been a member for 8 years, and only posted 83 times but I/we (me and my husband use this username) are busy people work full time and have a child. Its not possible or fair to my child to be on here all the time. It is quality not quantity,rep power or the number of posts that counts. i don't walk round this town with a neon sign saying how many posts I have made on the variety of forums I am member of.
I still stand by the fact that if you haven't anything useful or relevant to say then don't say it. I TRY not to take things too personally, however I do have trouble when the response is delayed and I would much prefer to speak face to face, but the nature of it is you can't. I find this frustrating.

How does anyone of you know how many members have started this forum because of me, because of how good and local and informative it WAS? I have suggested many people to join, which they have from positive feedback I have received and good genuine answers to questions. This is what this forum is for Accrington and its people.

This forum will die a death, which would be a great shame.

There are generations of young people, who suggest things which are relevant to today, which keeps the site exciting, innovative and get knocked back and fed up of the attitudes on here 'them youngens like to try to tell us owdens how this site should be run' if you don't get fresh blood, with no disrespect there is a point where the older members won't be on here any more for a variety of reasons (probably off changing their tena for men)

if you don't get any youngens and treat them fairly, nicely and respectful just as you would expect to be spoken to yourself in the flesh, its a dying site. If a young person responded in the way some people on this forum respond, they would get a clout round the ear and be told to respect their elders. (or as today's society is going maybe you wouldn't dare, you might get glassed or abused

) Respect is a two way street, so Margaret I agree a mirroring issue can occur, and people can get on the wrong foot from the start.

I have suggested, if you don't like fair enough. It's a SUGGESTION.

Less · 27-10-2012, 18:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairylee

I/we (me and my husband use this username)

Oh dear, what a shame so many bright ideas but no sense to read the rules, excuse me whilst I press the report button, SHARING, a user name is not allowed. After all you share, we don't know whom it is we're annoyed with, plus you need to get something called a 'life', not just a busy one.

hairylee · 27-10-2012, 18:57

pftt, your on here so much Less it might as well be called, Lessweb, tis you that needs to get out and smell the fresh air. REPORT away Zzzzzzzz....

Less · 27-10-2012, 19:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairylee

pftt, your on here so much Less it might as well be called, Lessweb, tis you that needs to get out and smell the fresh air.

You big baba, is that the best you can do?

I was up at 5.00 this morning having the cobwebs blown away from me on the North Sea, what were you doing?