Ne Hao Ma?

[Sparkologist]

That's Chinese that is for, "How are you?"

I've been in Jiangsu Province, four hours drive west of Shanghai, for a week now.
Holy Samosas, it's hot out here. If I were a fat lad, I would be sweating more than just buckets.
It's like the Wild West in Danyang City where we are working for three weeks. Life is rough and very poor, compared with western standards. It took me nearly a week to get an internet connection, so I could get back on Accyweb; dial-up is tediously slow, after the luxury of Broadband.
I am seven hours in front of most Accywebbers, so it's nearly midnight out here, as you are contemplating what to have for your tea.

[Tealeaf]

i recomend the snake

[Sparkologist]

I've tried it, it was cr@p. I unwittingly ordered grass snake, last year when in Nanchang; there was more meat on a sparrow's kneecap!
Next time there is snake on the menu, I'm going for Boa Constrictor. Summat with a bit of meat on it's bones.

[Busman747]

Don't forget the sticks of rock for every one

[steve]

Feed the boa constrictor a small cow first...

[mac]

so other than the c~*p food how is it mate. are ya having a laugh or cant you wait to get back. come on give us the juicy.

[lettie]

Hmmmm, from what I've heard he's having a good time. Banquets, lots of wine and POLE DANCERS!!!!!!!

[Sparkologist]

Pole dancer, eh?... More like a pit-prop dancer.

Take one circus elephant, take out any two of it's four knee-caps with a shotgun, then ask it to dance; you get the picture? This particular pole dancer had all the grace of a paraplegic hippo.

Apparently, at the end of her act, she lobbed her 'fried eggs out'. We only realised this when the crowd started cheering and whistling in a wild frenzy.

[lettie]

I'm pleased to say that Sparky is on his way home. He has checked his stuff in at the airport and is shopping in Shanghai at the moment to kill a few hours. He is due to land back in Manchester tomorrow lunchtime....

[steveo]

hellllllllloooooooooooooooooooo