has the world gone mad.. or is justified?

[emamum]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7474692.stm

what do you think?
are we protecting our children or going massivly over the top with it?

If you saw a child in town that looked lost, would you go and help them or leave it to someone else through fear of looking like an abducter?

While in the past, adults would have helped children in distress or rebuked those misbehaving, there was now "a feeling that it is best not to become involved", it said.

Report author Prof Frank Furedi, of Kent University, said: "From Girl Guiders to football coaches, from Christmas-time Santas to parents helping out in schools, volunteers - once regarded as pillars of the community - have been transformed in the regulatory and public imagination into potential child abusers, barred from any contact with children until the database gives them the green light."

Instead of relying on Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) checks, adults should be allowed to use their "discretion and professional judgment" to decide who should work with children.

personally i agree with crb checks, although it doesnt stop someone that hasnt yet commited and offence or hasnt been caught it does mean that someone who has will be kept out of a job with children

(although not someone that has abused their own children and had them removed from their care but not been charged with anything)

[grannyclaret]

when is common sense going to come back,,,,what a horrible world today for little children to be born in,,

[Margaret Pilkington]

If I saw a lost child I would definitely help.......the world is a scary place, but the majority of folk would perhaps imagine what it is like for a child to be scared and alone....and also put themselves into the shoes of a parent who has got separated from their child.

[katex]

Originally Posted by emamum23

[URL]


personally i agree with crb checks, although it doesnt stop someone that hasnt yet commited and offence or hasnt been caught it does mean that someone who has will be kept out of a job with children

Always a good point but yes, should be the checks to show up any known past culprits, but you right Emamum never know when this terrible offence will manifest its head in personalities.

I, like Margaret, would jump in with both feet if I saw a child in distress, even though may get some accusations at the end of it (which has happened to friends of mine) ... at least the child will be safe, and I could handle any aggro; the child could not handle getting lost and wandering into dangerous grounds. Least I know I am not a paedophile, child kidnapper or child abuser, so would have no worries.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Me too Kate. I couldn't bear to think of what i might feel if I didn't, and then heard that the child had come to a bad end.

I too, could handle any aggro, but I would like to think that common sense would prevail...and any action that I took would be seen in the spirit it was meant...i.e. that of giving a helping hand.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by katex

Always a good point but yes, should be the checks to show up any known past culprits, but you right Emamum never know when this terrible offence will manifest its head in personalities.

I, like Margaret, would jump in with both feet if I saw a child in distress, even though may get some accusations at the end of it (which has happened to friends of mine) ... at least the child will be safe, and I could handle any aggro; the child could not handle getting lost and wandering into dangerous grounds. Least I know I am not a paedophile, child kidnapper or child abuser, so would have no worries.

That maybe just about acceptable for a woman, but it would be very chancy for a bloke to do in todays society, but I think i'd have to risk it if for my own peace of mind.

[Margaret Pilkington]

I can see the difficulty for a man, to extend a helping hand....but it a very sad indictment on the state of the world.

[emamum]

A few weeks ago Ty did a runner in town and was found by a teenage lad... the lad stopped a woman and asked her for help because he said he didnt want to take him to find a security guard by himself.... when i got tyler back i was too relieved to find him to think about the fact that it was a lad that had found him... the poor lad looked terrified!!

Luckily he was more bothered about a child being lost. BUT in the middle of a busy day in town he was the only person that stopped to help a very scared little boy who was in a state when i got to him!

[Margaret Pilkington]

I think the media do a lot to scare people.....they make us think that everyone is to viewed with suspicion......and while I agree it is not sensible to suspend all your concerns, I do think that the majority of people would not harm a lost child....but so much fear has been instilled in the general public that they now view helping distressed children/elderly/disabled as a liability and they won't get involved for fear of the consequences.......and that is really sad.

[Less]

It's a couple of years since I saw a child in what seemed to be distress, I was walking home from the Stag one afternoon with Mick.

A little girl about 3 or 4 years wailing in the middle of the street declaring she was on her own and lost, I knelt down in front of her to ask what was wrong, immediately she changed her cry of woe to HELP, HELP, A STRANGER IS TALKING TO ME WHERE IS MY SISTER?

A girl of about 8 years of age came out of a house nearby and dragged her in.

I was in two minds,

1/ She had been taught to shout at the top of her voice, GOOD!

2/ I've just put myself through an embarrassing situation for a little sheet having a tantrum.

I think I would still try to find out and attempt to help rather than ignore and feel regret if something was to happen because I walked by though.

[polly]

This situation has happened to me a number of times, the ones that stand out are: in a museum in London where a baby (about 12 months old) made a lightening jump into a lift just as h/b and I had pressed the button and in Hyndburn Swimming Pool where a girl about 8 yrs came over crying because she had lost her parent.
I think it is because the can sense that I am an ex teacher!
I have never felt threatened by the situation and would always help out, but on the whole I prefer to find lost dogs!

[West Ender]

I think I was 9 when my mother first let me go into Accrington by myself, from West End. I had been going alone to St Mary's school for well over a year. I still remember the instructions I was given, then and for some years after, that if I lost my way or felt uneasy and there wasn't a policeman around (there really were policemen around in those days) I should ask a woman for directions, not a man. I suppose that crumb of parental comfort was eroded, by 1965, with Myra Hindley but I was a mother myself by then. So things haven't changed, gender-wise, in that sphere and a would-be-helpful male was just as much mistrusted in 1951 as now.

Coming to what I would do now, in such a situation, I would go to help any distressed child. My instinct would be to offer protection, as I think would most women's. I think the only difference might be that I wouldn't cuddle and comfort a sobbing child - which once I would have done. I would want to but it's so open to misinterpretation. Isn't that sad?

[banjoman]

As a bloke and a parent of a nearly 3 year old son, me and the missus took him to a pre-school day (ie where you decide if its the right school for him). I think I was the only day there, and at one time was playing aeroplanes with him, just some small toy ones. Within about 2 minutes I had a crowd of 4 kids around me and we were all playing. Not once did any mother come up and take their child away, or give disapproving looks etc. And I wasnt worried as I know I am not a paedophile.

However for an outside point of view, I call my son sweetheart sometimes(coz he is), give him lots of kisses and cuddles and play games with him all the time (he actually tells me I am his best friend). Its a sad indictment on the world when this is seen as a "potential concern", because we are pandering to do-goeders who want to debase everything to the lowest common denominator ie the fact that 0.0001% of people are paedos.

My natural instinct since becoming a dad would be to help ( the very thought of my kid lost and no-one helping is terrible). However it would only take on bad incident and I think that would change. As mentioned its sad that a man is more mistrusted than a woman, but thats the media...Any man could be a paedo (and 0.0001% are) therefore lets assume ALL men are until they prove otherwise....

[polly]

Originally Posted by banjoman

..Any man could be a paedo (and 0.0001% are) therefore lets assume ALL men are until they prove otherwise....

Unfortunately this is a natural technique that we all deploy all day about any unknown persons ........... If we see a teenager with wearing a hoodie he is a potential problem till proven otherwise, if we see a man with a balaclava on out in the dark he is a masked murderer - until proven otherwise. It is the way the human race survives, we develop stereotypes which help us to protct ourselves.
As for the previous comments about not hugging and cuddling a distressed child it is a problem that teachers have had for a good number of years. It affect Special Needs teachers in particular. some of their children desperately need hugs and cuddles but as these kids are often very vulnerable it something that many caring teachers have to try to avoid. A very sad reflection on the state of society

[Loz]

I would definately go and see if a child was ok if they looked lost and upset but sadly i can understand why it may look bad if a man were to approach them.
What terrible times we live in when you can't even help a child without there possibly being consequences.