parents

emamum · 18-12-2007, 09:35

if your child stays at someone elses house do you expect them to follow your rules? for example, if there is something you dont allow them to eat or drink?
Wondering if i am making a fuss about nothing

lancsdave · 18-12-2007, 09:41

There is no black and white answer to this. My view has always been that if somebody is looking after my child then hopefully they do it responsibily. If my child had special requirements or rules then I would ask for that to be followed but if that causes a problem I would choose to either not allow my child there again or accept that the house they are in has it's own rules. It really depends on the circumstances.

emamum · 18-12-2007, 09:47

my lad eats real food i dont like him eating processed, fatty, sugary food.. he stayed at my mums(she is a chef!) he hardly ever stays there, she gave him fish fingers and super noodles...
the biggest problem that i have is that he told her he was thirsty and she said all she had was coke, which he knows he is not allowed, he told her he was not alllowed and she said he had to drink it and it was coke or nothing, he asked for water and she said no! i have spoken to my sister who backs my lad up.... from, what my lad and sister have told me, she kept saying things, in front of him, that underminds me.....some are stupid little things like how to wear his coat and body warmer. but she told him that i am lazy.....

emamum · 18-12-2007, 09:56

just to add that she gave him chocolate breakfast cereal (which i dont allow), despite me sending his breakfast with him and didnt give him any dinner, poor lad was starving when he got home at 4(ish)

lancsdave · 18-12-2007, 09:57

I think you know the answer yourself

cashman · 18-12-2007, 10:03

sometimes ema ya gotta make tough calls in life, everyones personal circs are not the same, but its a call only you can make.

good luck.

emamum · 18-12-2007, 10:05

she doesnt see a problem, she gave him what she gives my brothers and sisters, she doesnt think i know what i am doing!

lancsdave · 18-12-2007, 10:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

she doesnt see a problem, she gave him what she gives my brothers and sisters, she doesnt think i know what i am doing!

Shoe on the other foot suggests you don't think your Mum knows what she is doing. Looks like you either have to go with the flow or stick to your guns in which case you will have to not allow your Mum to look after him. Tough call I'm afraid.

MargaretR · 18-12-2007, 10:25

I was needed to do granny duty 3 teatimes a week for a spell of 2 years when my 3 grandchildren were at primary school.
I cooked vegetarian meals for them, never smoked in their presence, and dispensed homeopathic remedies when needed.
As a mother in law it was essential to keep to their mum's rules.
A happy daughter in law ensures a happy son.

flashy · 18-12-2007, 11:08

its absolutely nothing to do with me Em but i'll shed a different opinion on this...although i hate processed food myself, would it really harm your little boy to have it once in a while? its kinda like keeping your kids clean all the time, and when they come into contact with dirt the immune system cant handle it, i know it isnt but try and see it as a treat for him, it really wont harm him if he only has it every so often, its when they have crap everyday, thats when the damage occurs, only you can have the final say on this, but thats just my opinion on the subject

WillowTheWhisp · 18-12-2007, 12:42

It would depend for me on how serious the subject was. I mean if someone gave my kids burger and chips I wouldn't be too upset but if they were told they had to have a cup of tea and were not allowed water then I'm afraid they would not go back there again because tea is against our religion and to try to force a child of mine to drink tea would be incredibly upsetting for them.

mrskitty · 18-12-2007, 13:18

Its a difficult one,i have the same problem with Jacks nan on his dads side.....if he asks for something he gets it-then he gets into the routine of asking for it,even if he doesn't really want it,as soon as he walks in he gets two chocolates,a banana and a biscuit

i have given up arguing.

kathleen_firth · 18-12-2007, 13:21

you could always send him with his breakfast lunch and dinner and drinks

i wouldnt expect my mum to give my child anything i didnt want her to have

cashman · 18-12-2007, 13:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

just to add that she gave him chocolate breakfast cereal (which i dont allow), despite me sending his breakfast with him and didnt give him any dinner, poor lad was starving when he got home at 4(ish)

to me the breakfast ya can cover over as a treat, still not ideal as you sent his with him. as for nothing to eat till about 4ish when he got home. NOT ON, would be end of story for me.

MITZY · 18-12-2007, 14:15

I'm with flashy on this once in a while won't do any harm, the bit I cannot understand is refusing to let him have water to drink. Personally I'd have a quiet word and say you don't really like the processed food but you will let it go once in a while but please allow the water, and not to criticise you in front of your son.