What do you do if someone lies ....

shillelagh · 23-09-2011, 14:44

just asking .... especially if its someone in authority ....

Margaret Pilkington · 23-09-2011, 14:49

Is this a hypothetical question, or has it happened to you Jen?

shillelagh · 23-09-2011, 14:56

a bit of both margaret ....

garinda · 23-09-2011, 15:14

Set the record straight.

By correcting the lie, and telling the truth, to whoever it was who was lied to.

Margaret Pilkington · 23-09-2011, 15:19

Make sure you have all the facts(especially if you can get them in writing) and I feel pretty sure you would have done this....then, ask them the question to give them a chance to set the record straight....and if they are still blatantly lying....show them the facts and ask them to explain themselves.(in the nicest possible way....which I know you would do)

DaveinGermany · 23-09-2011, 17:27

What are the conditions ? If it's to cover their backs for their own incompetence challenge them, but be in possession of the facts & where possible with witnesses also make others aware (line managers) of expected repercussions to you for speaking out .

Should it be harmless with the aim of preventing friction & disruption within the workforce & no one or nothing is harmed or damaged, let the person involved know you are aware of their transgression & it stops there, should it go on to cause problems, it will go up the line.

MargaretR · 23-09-2011, 17:39

What is truth? The 'liar' may sincerely believe what he said - You have perceived a situation differently.

http://www.whatistruth.org.uk/quotesontruth.php
examples -
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.- Marcus Aurelius

There is no truth. There is only perception. -Gustave Flaubert

jaysay · 23-09-2011, 17:40

Well to me it all depends on what the lie was about, if it was to my detriment and caused me problems, I'd probably make sure one way or another that the wrong was righted

jaysay · 23-09-2011, 17:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

What is truth? The 'liar' may sincerely believe what he said - You have perceived a situation differently.

http://www.whatistruth.org.uk/quotesontruth.php
examples -
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.- Marcus Aurelius

There is no truth. There is only perception. -Gustave Flaubert

When he tells lies his nose grows -Pinocchio

Margaret Pilkington · 23-09-2011, 19:04

There are many ways to lie........you can tell someone something which is balatantly untrue, or you can fail to correct an assumption that you know to be untrue........or you can just lie by saying nothing.

Some things are facts...these can be proved and corroborated.
Without all the information it is very difficult to say what should be done in this instance.
I was once in a position to observe a person in authority(and whom, up until that point, I had respected) try to blame a junior member of staff for something which I had seen this person do.....this was a fact, there was no subjectivity in it at all.
The person said she hadn't done the thing, which I had seen her do. She let a student carry the can for her mistake.
I spoke up for the student, but my evidence was not acted upon. I never, ever trusted, or respected this person again. I always watched my back because I felt if she could do this to a student then she would do it to other members of staff, myself included.

Eric · 23-09-2011, 19:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

What is truth? The 'liar' may sincerely believe what he said - You have perceived a situation differently.

http://www.whatistruth.org.uk/quotesontruth.php
examples -
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.- Marcus Aurelius

There is no truth. There is only perception. -Gustave Flaubert

This is true

But seriously, the Roman and the Frenchman are right, or as right as is possible. But tell folks that they are watching a movie based on a "true story", and they will accept it as reality. Talking of reality .....

garinda · 23-09-2011, 20:25

I suppose sometimes lies are an act of diplomacy. To avoid hurting someone we care for.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Yes darling, I'm afraid it does.'

'Mainly because you do have a fat arse.'

'So whatever wear doesn't really matter.'

Better answer.

'No, you look really great love.'

'Let's go.'

Margaret Pilkington · 23-09-2011, 20:29

I think the 'diplomatic lie' is a different thing, although I know the MargaretR doesn't believe this.....It is a kind of social lubricant.
I don't really think that Jen was alluding to this type of lie.....because she mentioned someone in authority........a lie of this nature could have far reaching consequences.

garinda · 23-09-2011, 20:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

I think the 'diplomatic lie' is a different thing, although I know the MargaretR doesn't believe this.....It is a kind of social lubricant.
I don't really think that Jen was alluding to this type of lie.....because she mentioned someone in authority........a lie of this nature could have far reaching consequences.

Agreed.

Though I'd need more details to comment on what prompted Shill to start this thread, and I'm not suggesting she posts what's happened here, if it is a serious matter.

Margaret Pilkington · 23-09-2011, 20:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

Agreed.

Though I'd need more details to comment on what prompted Shill to start this thread, and I'm not suggesting she posts what's happened here, if it is a serious matter.

That was my thought on the matter too,(you can only make decisions on the information that you have) but I know Jen would not be pushed into divulging something that is serious or sensitive....and that is right and proper.