What is a bully?

[garinda]

Originally Posted by jedimaster

i wouldn't say that rindy you've just got your own opinions and you stick to your guns
a very respectable characteristic!

Yes, (thank you) but Tinks has raised what is a very difficult question.

When does standing your own ground, and being as aggressive as necessary to achieve what you want, become bullying?

I'm sure we'd all teach a child to stand up for themselves, even when threatend with violence, to fight back. It does become a very grey area.

[chav1]

my eldest son was bullied at school and i couldnt understand why because he could easily flatten teh offenders but then i found out what was going on.


to put it simple he was forbid by his mother who worked as a teaching assistant at his school to hit them which gave the green card for teh bullies to say and do what they want as because as we all know what school grounds are like you get 10 kids saying teh same lie then they get believed and the poor victim ends up in trouble for somthing they didnt do

this however got remedied rather quickly when i told him that daddy knows better than mummy and he had to hit the leader of this bullying ring as hard as he could in the nose and if anyone asked questions tell them to speak to me

he wholloped the ring leader as instructed and suddenly the very same people who were bullying him now wanted to be his friends or in his gang as he told me they put it to which i said gangs are for puffters and not to bother with them

up until him smacking the little gobsh1te he was excluded from football at breaks and all sorts of other mean stuff but now all is well in the world , his results are better because he no longer dreads school for starters

the school never did contact me but boy did i get an earfull from his mum but it was worth it not to have my son been bullied anymore

smacking someone is wrong yes but sometimes its just the right thing to do especialy where bullies are concerned

i would rather see my kids expelled for defending themselves than sit through years of bullying

[Tinkerbelle]

Originally Posted by garinda

Tinks has raised what is a very difficult question.

It is such a difficult subject, I've typed and deleted so many replies to your last post. You've pretty much summed me up too in your last post.

I'd hate to be thought of as a bully on here but I can't help but defend my beliefs, which, I have been told often it comes across as aggressive.

[Mancie]

smacking someone who gives you grief is a great response.. but gets you into real trouble..

[Tinkerbelle]

Originally Posted by chav1

smacking someone is wrong yes but sometimes its just the right thing to do especialy where bullies are concerned

Everyone is different but I was a perfect candidate in school for bullying, yet I never was bullied ...... and I didn't have to smack anyone.

[chav1]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

Everyone is different but I was a perfect candidate in school for bullying, yet I never was bullied ...... and I didn't have to smack anyone.

coz no one could hit that low

seriously though u dont have to be small to be bullied its usualy a matter of if your face fits or not and if a kid that is popular dislikes you then thats when trouble can begin

i recall one kid at school getting bullied and one day he turned and stuck a fork intoteh bullies hand in the canteen lol

the bully got no sympathy from teh teacher and the guy who was getting bullied got to lie down and rest , not even a detention which i find applaudable

[shillelagh]

I was bullied when i was at school all the way through primary school and high school. It only finished when i went into the 6th form. Even then i got snide comments from some of the others for stopping on in the 6th form and not going to work or going to college. All because i was overweight, my mum & dad were older than everybody elses, and the epilepsy when that come back. You learn to shrug it off and laugh and carry on though. Its hard and i didnt like it and still dont like it.

I'm like you tinks - praying no one sees me as a bully because of what i've said or what i've done because i say what i think even though it does get me into trouble at times.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

It is such a difficult subject, I've typed and deleted so many replies to your last post. You've pretty much summed me up too in your last post.

I'd hate to be thought of as a bully on here but I can't help but defend my beliefs, which, I have been told often it comes across as aggressive.

You're right. I was always brought up, and I'm sure you teach your children the same thing too, to be confident, and that their point of view is valid, and deserves to be heard, and never let anyone silence them.

When pushed in a corner though, I will be mean, to win brownie points. Even today I accused someone of not being one of life's 'doers', but content just to watch. Not very nice, fair, or true.

Still as long as I sleep at night I'm not going to worry if I'm a bully or not.

Hang on, I don't sleep!!!

Oh, hell.

[Mancie]

hey .. all of us can be think they were really hard... but I'll bet when you left school..got a job.. you are in a different situtuaton, and repsond in the proper manner

[Mancie]

and the proper manner is .. beating the greaser's up down the bottom of fielding lane!

[garinda]

It's strange. When I was up from London one weekend a couple of years ago, I went for a haircut. I recognised one of my tormentors, that I hadn't seen since the age of nine.

After she left I asked the girl who was cutting my hair to confirm she, yes I was bullied by an older girl, was the same girl that I though she was. I laughed and told her how I knew her. I was told she was an exceptionally nice woman, a good Mum, and was even a Sunday School teacher.

I hope she is nice now, and that if she even remembers making my life what seemed like a living hell, she regrets it. Still, I shouldn't really harbor feelings of sadness towards her...I should shake her hand for making me into the adorable little poppet I am today.

[steeljack]

Is being lambasted with negative karma for posting an alternative thought/idea not bullying (especially with no name attached) ?

[WillowTheWhisp]

Standing up for yourself or defending others can't be bullying. Everyone has the right to their own opinions or to support others. It's when that turns into belittling people you disagree with or name calling and picking on the same person no matter what they say or do that it turns to bullying.

I've seen people hounded on message forums and others band together and gang up on them just for fun which is unacceptable. I've also seen paranoid people who imagine offences where there are none and make everyone else's life a misery by constant accusations of bullying. It's a mad world, especially online.

[flashy]

i used to bully tinks when she was ickler, i'd say to her ''if you dont come over here and talk to these boys with me i'll push you over'' nice friend arent i

[accymel]

Originally Posted by chav1

if making somones life a misery is bullying them maybe its about time marrage was outlawed

here here! something we agree on hehehehehehe