Why we give?

[dotti34]

There were some great plays on the radio in those days. Had to listen well and visualise. Cocoa and toast on the coals - you have certainly brought back some memories for me, Margaret. Long walks with my nature-loving dad, when I was small he would carry me on his shoulders for miles. Blackberry-picking, and eating them all on the way home - so no blackberry pie!

You have hit the nail on the head - parents giving their time, and quality time at that.

Before I started school I could play most card games - thanks to my dad teaching me these.
We didn't need a lot of money - no latest gadgets to buy to keep up with the Joneses. They didn't have any money either!!!!!

[accyman]

charity is good buissness

its been fact for many years that those at the top of oxfam drive bentleys

think how many bowls of rice one of them could buy

[Margaret Pilkington]

Yes, and that is why I buy nothing from Oxfam.

[accyman]

i dont buy from oxfam or donate to them because i think africa has had more than enough from this country

i also think local charities need our help more but then again i think there shouldnt be a need for cancer research and macmillans nurses teh government shoudl be funding them instead of funding china , india, pakistan , etc etc and so on

[Margaret Pilkington]

I also try to use local charities, but I also try to spread my donations around a bit.
I buy most of my designer clothes from BHF.......and donate them back when I am fed up of them.....books too, I have a kindle but still cannot resist books from the charity shops.
They are really only on loan as I donate them back when I have read them......sometimes still priced up.

[Sunflower49]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Sunflower, that is a big problem...but it maybe because their mother/grandmother never showed them how to do these things.
We cannot blame them for not knowing how to do these things...except I was taught that once you find a gap in your knowledge/skills, it is your responsibility to make sure you do something about it.
I still try to follow that maxim....and today with the internet and Youtube as a teacher, there is little excuse to stay clueless.

It's an admirable thing...I suppose I shouldn't judge, I'm pretty rubbish at a lot of things but those things I see as really simple. And as for the last bit yes, I can't remember who said it first, but I often paraphrase the quote 'In the information age, ignorance is a choice'!

One of my bugbears is folk claiming poverty whilst buying takeaway dinners several times per week!

Originally Posted by Less

I wholeheartedly agree, sometimes when you get a 16stone ex rugby player that died in a traffic accident, you waste more than you eat!

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

No, money will not make you happy....it just buys you a better class of misery.
Happiness is a very personal thing. Obviously you need to have some money, there is no happiness if you cannot pay your way.
Despite having very little money when I was growing up, I believe I had a very rich childhood. My parents gave us their time.....we played silly board games.....we listened to radio programs in the firelight, drinking cocoa and eating toast cooked on the coals.
We went fishing for sticklebacks with improvised fishing nets, we picked blackberries, we picked flowers....we slept out in home made tents.

It is nice to read that. In my experience, the people I know of who had all the money in the world (think private schools and swimming pools) as children had by far the more inferior childhoods I've know of, some to the point of downright neglect/abuse. It's easy to lose focus I guess, if you're a parent who is also avaricious or materialistic, or power-hungry. It can be that they forget the more important of the roles. Not at all saying all parenting turns out this way, far from it. But those things you mention are definitely the more enriching in early years.

I don't think money can make anybody happy. I think needing more money than you have can cause one to be UNhappy, but that as you say is very personal.

Also nowadays it seems all things material are easily come by, even to those who are poor. Credit means everybody can have what they want, at a price. I see a lot of 'plastic millionaires' in the industry I work in. They have the car and the clothing and the home comforts...None fully paid for. I would be a bag of nerves if I lived like that.

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Yes, and that is why I buy nothing from Oxfam.

I know this is a very simplistic view but when I found Oxfam shops to be full of new fancy goods, and noted how often they advertise at peak times, I stopped viewing them as a charity.

[DaveinGermany]

Originally Posted by Sunflower49

I don't think money can make anybody happy.

Oh Cointreau mong Cherry! Money per se may not, but the things that can be achieved if you've more than enough to chuck about most certainly would! I don't necessarily mean on personal gratification, although some little longed for dainties wouldn't go amiss, just think how many donations you could give to your favourite charities/causes, help to friends & family in difficulties, or random acts of giving & kindness to total strangers who appear to be down on their luck purely for the altruistic pleasure of it. Sounds like that'd make me happy if I had that ability all because I had quite a few bob spare.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

Oh Cointreau mong Cherry! Money per se may not, but the things that can be achieved if you've more than enough to chuck about most certainly would! I don't necessarily mean on personal gratification, although some little longed for dainties wouldn't go amiss, just think how many donations you could give to your favourite charities/causes, help to friends & family in difficulties, or random acts of giving & kindness to total strangers who appear to be down on their luck purely for the altruistic pleasure of it. Sounds like that'd make me happy if I had that ability all because I had quite a few bob spare.

You may have a point there son...but it is far more deliberate to give when you have little to give.
If you have much and donate some of it to good causes, or helping family and friends than of course you are spreading around a little happiness...but you are never going to miss what you have given because you have plenty more where that came from.

But when you have very little, but give of yourself, or your time, then surely that is more worthy.
Do we not place too much reliance on material things?
Do these material things really make us happy? Ok maybe we get a buz from being able to go out and indulge in something for ourselves....but does that buzz fade pretty quickly as we move on to our next 'want'...so much so that we no longer see it as a 'want' but as a 'need'.

Just thinking out loud.....I am sure I was happier as a child than the children of today seem to be....but then that is relative because we can never really have a definitive answer.
I certainly never heard of any child saying that they were 'depressed'...bored maybe, but depressed never.

[cashman]

An owd saying is "Money aint everything, But its way ahead of whatevers in second place."

[Margaret Pilkington]

That saying isn't true......health is first every time. If you do not have your health then all else is miserable.
Ask anyone who has a chronic health issue and I think they will agree.

[DaveinGermany]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

but it is far more deliberate to give when you have little to give.

Indubitably & by far more noble.

But when you have very little, but give of yourself, or your time, then surely that is more worthy.

Perhaps, but worth can also be seen in giving monetarily can it not?

I can see the point you make Ma & yes it may appear that giving when you have little is a greater commitment than having plenty & giving unstintingly, but I would challenge that conception as some may not be able to physically assist but would like to help & specie is their way of achieving this.

As we live abroad it is difficult for me to physically assist in things I personally deem as good causes within the UK, so I "Do my bit" for my favoured charities/causes by donation/ sponsorship & the likes. We're not exactly rich, we muddle along like most folk & we pay our bills, our finances don't really allow for frivolities & wants, but there's always a couple of quid for something worthwhile, be that Guide dogs, RNLI, Help for heroes, Poppy appeal, McMillan & cancer research to name a few.

In fact when we're over & wandering round browsing in the emporia & centres of commerce if someone waves a tin at me I'll usually chuck in a couple of quid regardless. We'll visit a Lifeboat station, make a donation, then spend £20-25, on odds & ends in their shop (we've got a fridge full of magnets & pens for a lifetime!) but as far as we're concerned it's money well spent.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Because you give what you can, when you can.....someone is benefitting.
We all choose those charities which we deem deserving as a result of life experiences.
We should never forget that one day we may benefit from their help.
At least that is my maxim when giving!
Anyway, if I ever come into money I already know exactly where it is going.
Money is like muck.....in a pile it stinks, but if you spread it around it puts life back into dead earth.

[Less]

Someone benefits Only if you give to a true charity Margaret. Which of the big charities can we give to and know our money is going to the needy not the greedy?

[Margaret Pilkington]

When you donate cash...especially to the big charities.....you really do not know how much of what you give actually gets to the people who really need the help....how much of your donation goes to pay the vast wages of the CEO's of these charities.
Small local charities like Bleakholt, Only foals and Horses need the money to continue their efforts. When I am in Asda I will buy a tin of dog food...or cat food because I know even this small donation will help the animals in their care.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Originally Posted by Less

Someone benefits Only if you give to a true charity Margaret. Which of the big charities can we give to and know our money is going to the needy not the greedy?

Less, I hadn't seen this when I posted my comment which is along similar lines.
We aren't only on the same page of the hymn book...we are in the same church too.