Witty Ripostes and insults....

[Margaret Pilkington]

another one of my favourites...no make that two.
'You have all the allure of a toilet brush...a used one!'
'You have the personality of a wine gum, but you're not as sweet'

[Gremlin]

It looks like your face has been on fire and put out with a shovel.

[Balbus]

To someone who was being disparaging about my pedigree dog - "at least he knew who his father was".

[Margaret Pilkington]

Classic...keep 'em coming!

[Retlaw]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Classic...keep 'em coming!

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Very subtle Retlaw.....that would go right over the heads of some folk.

[janloot]

lifes a drag, and then ya die

[katex]

You can't get any better than the scriptwriters of Corrie. Especially when Blanche was around.

OK, can't remember any at the moment, but usually one in every episode.

[Eric]

Will you be on Earth for long, or will you be returning to your home world soon?

You couldn't pour water out of a boot even if the instructions were written on the heel.

And one I read somewhere: Last nite, the Minneapolis Symphony played Beethoven. Beethoven lost.

Margot Asquith was famous for her wit. She is reputed to have corrected Jean Harlow's mispronunciation of her first name by observing: "No, no, the 't' is silent, like the 't' in 'Harlow'".

One thing that must be admitted is that no one can do the witty riposte thing like the English, and some others of the English Speaking Peoples. Others can do it only occasionally. I like one that comes from France in 1914. As the Germans closed in on Paris, the leading politicians decided to leave for Bordeaux, the Parisians lining the streets sang: "Au gare citoyens" You can figure out the tune unless your IQ is the square root of your shoe size

[Margaret Pilkington]

Yes Kate, Blanche was very good at the (seemingly effortless) put downs.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Anyway Eric, this thread is all down to you...I won't say 'your fault' because I am enjoying the quips.

[Eric]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Anyway Eric, this thread is all down to you...I won't say 'your fault' because I am enjoying the quips.

Like the one about the guy who was so dumb he starved to death in his car, sitting outside a whorehouse waiting for the red light to change

[Less]

Originally Posted by Eric

Margot Asquith was famous for her wit. She is reputed to have corrected Jean Harlow's mispronunciation of her first name by observing: "No, no, the 't' is silent, like the 't' in 'Harlow'".

Ah, you've met my ex?

[Eric]

Originally Posted by Less

Ah, you've met my ex?

I've met many ladies of negotiable virtue

[walkinman221]

I have a sporting one, Shane Warne said this to an opposing batsman "i have been waiting two years to humiliate you again" said with a nasal Australian drawl, to which the batsman replied " it looks you spent most of the two years eating" .