Shelters 'R' Us.

Less · 15-02-2006, 12:02

Congratulations go out from my team of professional designers and I to all those of you in the Licensing trade, because you can now take advantage of a special offer from us at Shelters'r'us.co.uk
Yes for just a small deposit now we can supply you with the shelter of your choice, no longer will you have to put up with all those nasty customers ruining your decor with nicotine stains, no longer will you have to send someone round every few minutes emptying ash trays.

We at, Shelters'r'us.co.uk
are proud to show you in advance our summer 2007 range of shelters that will prove practical in every way until the winter of 2007 when your customers stop calling because it's too damn cold and their beer starts freezing to the glass!

Please note the self emptying gap of approx 6 inches at the bottom of this show room model represented, sweeping up fag ends will no longer be your problem as the icey winds blow around your patrons feet taking any litter including discarded crisp packets away from your premises to be deposited at the inconvenience of everyone else! (But we all have to make some sort of sacrifice for a healtier living don't we).

If you prefer we can supply you with the luxury executive model with very expensive and money wasting heater, they won't add much to your customers comfort but will guarantee to assist in global warming!

Take up this offer now and we will supply free of charge a 'His' & 'Hers' bucket (one at each end in the interest of modesty), so they don't have to keep walking in & out of your pub causing draughts whenever they need to go to the toilet.

Pre-order Your shelter now
and we will send you a voucher
offering 50% off your next course with a councillor as he tries to convince you that your empty pub is for the good of the nation!

Shelters'r'us.co.uk

Stop Press! Just added to our executive range, see below!

Neil · 15-02-2006, 17:40

Will the shelters be classed as enclosed public places?

Less · 15-02-2006, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil

Will the shelters be classed as enclosed public places?

No because within 24 hours of being installed the local vandals will have knocked all the glass out!

Roy · 15-02-2006, 18:00

They actually went through all this a couple of years ago in ireland. The result was that the pubs had to put up sort of blind type roofs. The shelter is only allowed to have 1 wall or else it is considered as enclosed.

Neil · 15-02-2006, 19:31

I bet there are still plenty of Irish people going to the pub even if they can't smoke anymore.

jelly baby · 16-02-2006, 01:01

A 'Local' pub, The 3 Fishes at Mitton is a non smoking establishment, they have had the foresight to erect a smoking room outside the pub along with a security light (so you can find it), it seems to be quite a popular little building.

delboy · 16-02-2006, 11:47

Can i have a price please

Less · 16-02-2006, 13:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by delboy

Can i have a price please

Obviously the price Is tailored to your own needs
If you would care to meet me at our showroom (The Boulivard Blackburn) You can take your pick of our exhibition models and take it straight home with you. I do apologise that you will have to travel so far, I had hoped to have a similar show room in the centre of Accrington, I was going to give it the trendy name of 'The Bus Station', but Hyndburn Council can't decide where it should be placed!

delboy · 16-02-2006, 13:59

I have the plans of what i want and can be in Blackburn for about 2pm tomorrow, i am traveling up from Southhampton so i might be a bit late what time do you close.

delboy · 16-02-2006, 14:06

By the way Mr Less i am thinking of spending around £4000 for a shelter but if it goes over this figure that will be ok.
I will have a lorry so transport is no problem are they in sections or 1 unit ?

Less · 16-02-2006, 15:10

Quote:

delboy:I have the plans of what i want and can be in Blackburn for about 2pm tomorrow, i am traveling up from Southhampton so i might be a bit late what time do you close.

I was going to close a little earlier but ,I can stay open until you get here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by delboy

By the way Mr Less i am thinking of spending around £4000 for a shelter but if it goes over this figure that will be ok.
I will have a lorry so transport is no problem are they in sections or 1 unit?

Isn't life full of coincidences I was just about to announce my,
as much as you can carry for £4,000 offer!

I'm an open air fanatic so I don't actually have an office so I'll meet you by Queen Victorias Statue, if I'm not there just put the money under the loose stone near her foot and take what you want, nice doing business with you.

pendy · 16-02-2006, 15:35

Can you supply folding portable ones, so that we can take them round from pub to pub? If we have our own, they can have more than one wall, because it's private property, so there.

Neil · 16-02-2006, 20:46

Just for you pendy