A Bed Time Story for Wee Georgie Osbourne

[gynn]

Once Upon a Time, there was a big bad public sector worker. He was a happy chappie, protected from the realities of life with his inflation linked salary and his gold plated pension. But he spent his life sponging off everybody else, so something had to be done about him.
Then one day, he lost his job, and couldn’t go to work that morning.
He didn’t get in his car, which stayed in the garage, and didn’t need filling up. So the petrol pump attendant wasn’t needed. Nor did the car need servicing, so the garage mechanic wasn’t needed. He didn’t get the bus, so the bus driver wasn’t needed. Nor did he get the train, so the train driver wasn’t needed, and the conductor on the train wasn’t needed, and the ticket collector wasn’t needed.
He didn’t buy a paper on the way into work, so the news vendor wasn’t needed. He didn’t buy a bar of chocolate, so the kiosk seller wasn’t needed.
He didn’t enter his office, so the receptionist wasn’t needed. He didn’t make a mess, so the cleaner wasn’t needed.
At dinner time, he didn’t go for lunch. So the canteen assistant wasn’t needed. He didn’t nip out for a sandwich, so the sandwich maker wasn’t needed. He didn’t get a drink from the vending machine, so the machine operator wasn’t needed.
On the way home, he hadn’t parked his car, so the car park attendant wasn’t needed. He hadn’t parked his car illegally so the traffic warden wasn’t needed.
He didn’t need to call in the pub on the way home, so the bar worker wasn’t needed.
Instead, he spent the day getting ready to go to the job centre to look for a job in the big bad world. After all, he’d been told that he and 499,999 of his colleagues would be absorbed by the private sector.
But when he got there, he couldn’t get through the door for the crowds of ex petrol pump attendants, garage mechanics, bus drivers, train drivers, conductors, ticket collectors, news vendors, kiosk sellers, receptionists, cleaners, canteen assistants, sandwich makers, machine operators, car park attendants, traffic wardens and bar workers.
So he couldn’t get a job and had to sign on, only to be told there was no money left to give him. And with his gold plated pension gone, there was no way he could possibly live happily ever after.................
The End.
Goodnight, Georgie Boy. Sleep Tight! xx

[Mancie]

If only ... but George's family are amongst the richest in Britian..even when he was headboy at Eton and felt a little cold he'd just shove another poor oik on the fire and toast some crumpets!

[cashman]

after reading that, i'm glad i'm past it.