A favour to ask. - Page 2

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:05

Gayle I appreciate your reply and it is good that you contacted someone you felt may be vulnerable.

My Mum is in her 80's and is finding this bad weather something of a trial......she has me to check on her...and I do, regularly.
It got me thinking that there must be many older folk, who in normal circumstances are quite active and able, but in the current conditions might need some help.
People, who perhaps, have no family living close by to check on them......that was my motive....and the reason I asked the good folk on Accyweb to consider their elderly neighbours.

Less · 07-01-2010, 22:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

While I am not against humour in posts......I really started this thread with the view to making people aware that some of our elderly neighbours may need a helping hand.
I was trying to foster some community spirit.
It appears that I have failed.
I am sorry to have troubled you.

It had worked, it did remind us all, but do you want a happy smiling, I've just come to see you're o.k. type person, or a miserable I'm only doing this because Margaret made me feel guilty, sod calling on their neighbour?
If it's the latter, I'm your man but I must warn you, the suicide rate amongst my neighbours could go up with this approach!

cashman · 07-01-2010, 22:15

we checked on a lady at t-time funnily enough, but good to remind folk.

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:15

No less, the older folk who see you coming up their path will probably hide behind the sofa until you have gone

....they might think you are the 'tally man'....or worse......a 'God botherer'.

And I hoped not to have made anyone feel guilty,(though Gayle admits to this emotion.....note, you can only feel guilty if you feel that there is something you haven't done right) but to raise the awareness of being a good neighbour.

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:19

good on you Cashy.

We have a very feisty old lady near us, and a few years ago she broke her hip falling in the snow......since then she has not ventured over her doorstep when it has snowed....so we did a bit of shopping for her today......normally we wouldn't be allowed to help out,she is very independent and likes to keep active and do things for herself......we noted that since the snow came down that we hadn't seen her.
This set alarm bells ringing....she was out of bread and has been drinking milkless tea for the last few days.

Neil · 07-01-2010, 22:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

Personally, I blame Neil for lowering the tone.

Your welcome, by the way if you think that is lowering the tone you must have had a sheltered life ( which I know you haven't

)

Margaret, every time someone posts in this thread it fires it back to the top of the list. If someone who has not seen it before does because it is at the top then they will see your original kind request in post 1 first.

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:20

Thank you Neil........I never doubted you had a good heart.

Less · 07-01-2010, 22:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Thank you Neil........I never doubted you had a good heart.

So all in all, can we keep the humour coming so long as we promise that deep down we really do understand it is an important subject?

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:33

Of course Less......I didn't make you feel guilty, did I? (grins wickedly).

And yes, the subject is important....and I know only too well that sometimes, humour is a good way to get the message across.

Eric · 07-01-2010, 22:39

Thought about it .... no, I don't think there is a real difference, merely a question of perception (accidental rhyme) ... but some of you might want to consider that being a good neighbour could be a full time thing ... not just something that happens in times of crisis. My neighbours and I often get together after a snowstorm to help one another out. Four shovels and a snowblower can clean driveways out in short order. And this neighbourliness continues throughout the year ... when a neighbour is away for a few days, or even weeks, all of us at this end of the street keep an eye on the vacant house ... pick up mail and flyers etc. My neighbour across the street leaves me his house key so that I can go in and feed his cats and change their litter. This is what community is all about. I know it may sound optimistic, but this kind of behaviour is one way in which adults can show good examples to the young.

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 22:46

Hooray Eric, my sentiments exactly......but if you start off little then you have a chance to 'grow'.
And you are right about the example it sets for the younger folk too.
Good neighbourliness is something to cultivate and leads to the feeling of 'community'.

I am aware that some of our community may have reservations about trusting people, and this has to be overcome by building gradually.......and that there is a difference between helping out in times of need and fostering a dependence.......so it is something that has to be done with caution, and of course kindness.

Neil · 07-01-2010, 22:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

This is what community is all about. I know it may sound optimistic, but this kind of behaviour is one way in which adults can show good examples to the young.

Sounds like where I live mate.

A couple of days ago I got some shopping for our neighbour so she did not have to push the pram in the snow. We have keys for a couple of people and they have ours for when needed.

katex · 07-01-2010, 23:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

Thought about it .... no, I don't think there is a real difference, merely a question of perception (accidental rhyme) ... but some of you might want to consider that being a good neighbour could be a full time thing ... not just something that happens in times of crisis. My neighbours and I often get together after a snowstorm to help one another out. Four shovels and a snowblower can clean driveways out in short order. And this neighbourliness continues throughout the year ... when a neighbour is away for a few days, or even weeks, all of us at this end of the street keep an eye on the vacant house ... pick up mail and flyers etc. My neighbour across the street leaves me his house key so that I can go in and feed his cats and change their litter. This is what community is all about. I know it may sound optimistic, but this kind of behaviour is one way in which adults can show good examples to the young.

This is reciprocal neighbourliness though Eric; neighbours who are fit and healthy ... Margaret is talking about elderly people who cannot give anything back to the community ... do you help them? That is the question.

Margaret Pilkington · 07-01-2010, 23:04

Kate, I would bet that they do help those who cannot reciprocate, because the kind of reciprocal neighbourliness fosters care about others in the area....it is almost a mindset.....thinking of others. Not that I'm saying it doesn't happen here too.....but I know that some older folk are fiercely independent and will not ask for help.....but would take it in certain circumstances, if offered.(My ma is of this genus)

Eric · 08-01-2010, 00:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

This is reciprocal neighbourliness though Eric; neighbours who are fit and healthy ... Margaret is talking about elderly people who cannot give anything back to the community ... do you help them? That is the question.

But does true neighbourliness require a quid pro quo? And, of course you help. I think it is a distinctly negative way of thinking to suggest that the elderly have nothing to give to the community, that they are somehow used up and useless. We could all learn from other cultures, First Nations are a good example, in which elders are respected for their experience and the wisdom which often comes with age. And there are rewards for helping, not the least of which is feeling good about doing something useful for someone else ... as long as it is done with spontaneity, and not out of a sense of obligation.