abortions? - Page 2

Billcat · 11-12-2006, 21:20

Mummiboo, I'm sure that all of our thoughts and prayers are with you.

MUMMIBOO · 11-12-2006, 22:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by CASPER

Mummiboo, It must have taken a great deal of courage to make that post. Whatever happens on or before thursday, I wish you well. Stay strong, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Love from Casper x

Thank you Casper i think of alot of people on accyweb as friends, it helps to talk about things like this than to bottle up yes its a very personal thing to talk about but i think if i can tell you all that i am pregnant and how happy we are then it stands to reason that i can tell you all that it is no longer to be.

Like i said its one of the strangest situations ive ever been in its like its happened to someone else. I have to be strong as i have a 5 year old and a 7 yr old they take my mind off things.

Thank you for your thoughts. x

accymel · 11-12-2006, 22:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by MUMMIBOO

Well what a difficult thread and post to make!

I went for my first scan on Thursday i was 11 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby wanted very much we had been trying since December we managed to get pregnant in September we were soo excited,

Like i said i went for my first scan on Thursday only to be told that my baby was the size of a 9 week old and that its heart had stopped beating at around 9 weeks. I didnt have a clue i had no pain and no bleeding i couldnt believe what she was saying to me i had a picture from the scan and it looks perfect soo cute.

The midwife said my bodys not accepting i have lost the baby and is still feeding it thats why i still feel pregnant! I have been told to give it till Thursaday and see if my body rejects it on its own if not then medical intervention will be needed same thing as what happends when you have an abortion!.

I just cant see at the moment how people can just kill or get rid of children or the makings of them when there are people around who are trying and trying for children all the people who cant have them i know its not their problem but i just think for the right reasons then fair enough but just for the sake of it is wrong.

Hugs & thoughts are with u mummiboo, Totally understand had the simular sort of experience myself with my 1st, altho a bit later on - lets say my scan wasn't pretty at all, the medical term was a missed abortion {that iself was an insult term]where the baby dies & break down body doesnt reject it - that was very hard & still is to come to terms with. Find the topic pretty insensitive in all honestly as it was put across initially.

Personally despite my own experience is that its upto the individual - after what i went thro that made it all the harder for me to consider & my conscious wouldnt allow it ! But that is me as well as a few people, but honestly i beleive in choice & making the right choice dependant on circumstances, think how many more very young mums there would be who simply havent the support nor couldnt cope or handle it, then theres rape situations, we have an amount of kids in care mainly due to irresponsible parents - that many i know say they are anti abortion but also dont condone kids being with so called bad parents, the care system is fully clogged up atm - so whats the solution ? This country isnt as bad as some countriies where enforced birth control management is conditioned for lesser reasons! Even stranger religions not condoning birth control methods considered pre abortion & then have the unwanted pregnancy to which some never bond with -duely effecting that childs welbeing. Adoption is another answer but again a controversial topic in itself.

I suppose the offer is freely available certainly for possible disabled or 'non perfect' kids - i was offered one with my youngest cos of a minor diasblement condition

which did insult & horrify me

now that is out of order! I have an aunt who couldnt have kids & couldnt imagine how she felt or still feels especially hard for her when she is in company of family with kids nevermind with the wealth of mis treated or even this topic would be of upset.

So as with owt in life nothing is in clear full techni colour typically its covered in + & - 's all over, as i've said in another thread sex ed is worrying prevention is better than a cure, i agree with billcat if it was not legalised then we would be back to the old back st butchers making a buck & totally ruining many womens lives for the NHS to only rectify later, as with owt where their is illegality then there will always be someone un qualified & expensive underground to fill the void - which would be worse!

MUMMIBOO · 11-12-2006, 23:39

[quote=accymel;350493]Hugs & thoughts are with u mummiboo, Totally understand had the simular sort of experience myself with my 1st, altho a bit later on - lets say my scan wasn't pretty at all, the medical term was a missed abortion {that iself was an insult term]where the baby dies & break down body doesnt reject it - that was very hard & still is to come to terms with. Find the topic pretty insensitive in all honestly as it was put across initially.

Hiya mel its not simular its same i have had a missed miscarriage my doc called it not so insensitive to call it a missed abortion thats horrible! but yes baby died 3 weeks ago and i still have it until thursday they wont let me carry it any longer than that as it can cause me to be poisened, the worse bit is i still feel pregnant my body still thinks i am pregnant it is still feeding the placenta ( sorry maybe a little more info sounds horrible eh!).

Thanks for the hugs and thoughts accymel they well received.x

accymel · 11-12-2006, 23:47

[quote=MUMMIBOO;350520]

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Hugs & thoughts are with u mummiboo, Totally understand had the simular sort of experience myself with my 1st, altho a bit later on - lets say my scan wasn't pretty at all, the medical term was a missed abortion {that iself was an insult term]where the baby dies & break down body doesnt reject it - that was very hard & still is to come to terms with. Find the topic pretty insensitive in all honestly as it was put across initially.

Hiya mel its not simular its same i have had a missed miscarriage my doc called it not so insensitive to call it a missed abortion thats horrible! but yes baby died 3 weeks ago and i still have it until thursday they wont let me carry it any longer than that as it can cause me to be poisened, the worse bit is i still feel pregnant my body still thinks i am pregnant it is still feeding the placenta ( sorry maybe a little more info sounds horrible eh!).

Thanks for the hugs and thoughts accymel they well received.x

Aw you welcome Mummiboo if ya need to chat about it im here pm me, thank goodness they have changed the name of it, mine was over 12years ago that was the term then, mine died at 12 weeks but unaware till i had my 16 wk scan & immediately sent me in - wont go on especially before your appointment. Wish u well, my thoughts will be with you & your family

slinky · 11-12-2006, 23:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by MUMMIBOO

Well what a difficult thread and post to make!

I went for my first scan on Thursday i was 11 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby wanted very much we had been trying since December we managed to get pregnant in September we were soo excited,

Like i said i went for my first scan on Thursday only to be told that my baby was the size of a 9 week old and that its heart had stopped beating at around 9 weeks. I didnt have a clue i had no pain and no bleeding i couldnt believe what she was saying to me i had a picture from the scan and it looks perfect soo cute.

The midwife said my bodys not accepting i have lost the baby and is still feeding it thats why i still feel pregnant! I have been told to give it till Thursaday and see if my body rejects it on its own if not then medical intervention will be needed same thing as what happends when you have an abortion!.

I just cant see at the moment how people can just kill or get rid of children or the makings of them when there are people around who are trying and trying for children all the people who cant have them i know its not their problem but i just think for the right reasons then fair enough but just for the sake of it is wrong.

MummiBoo I really do know what you are going through. I was 13 weeks pregnant when I went for my scan and they told me my baby had died at 8 weeks. I broke my heart for month's - I say month's because when I held my last born son!! ( I already had 1 perfect boy)- In a way I reasoned with the fact I lost that baby to get this perfect baby boy. I would never have had him if I had given birth to the baby I lost, because I only wanted 2 babies...... I have my 2 perfect boys now......god bless my baby I lost, but on lives my boy that I did have the fortune to have.

But I too don't agree with abortion......and 2 weeks after I miscarried the baby I sooooo wanted....someone had a abortion because she had a HOLIDAY ROMANCE one night stand and ended up pregnant.......and got rid.

WillowTheWhisp · 12-12-2006, 00:01

Just thought I'd send you some official hugs as well ((((((((((hugs)))))))))

shillelagh · 12-12-2006, 00:34

Sorry mummiboo and ((((((((hugs)))))))) from me too.

What do i think about abortion - i've never been pregnant so i've never been in that position. Im against it as a way of contraception as some women do use it like that. It depends on why you are having the abortion. I know what i've been told from my consultants about having a baby. If i ever got pregnant i would be under the care of my neurologist, gp, midwife and epilepsy nurse. But also if i did want a child that it would have to be planned and not a mistake because of the drugs i take could harm the child. By the time i would know that i was pregnant the drugs will already have harmed the child and so the problem would be do i have an abortion or risk it and have the child.

cherokee · 12-12-2006, 02:34

AWWWWWW mummyboo..big hugs to you hun and very couragous for having to go through such a thing , I once had a friend that carried hers full term only to go through similar ...

As for my fellings on abortion ..well.... IMHO it all depends on the circumstances and there really are so many..

A... If rape and a girl/woman dosent feel comfortable carrying that child ..YES
B... If a youngster through ignorance and stupidity that dosnt want it ...then no, adoption should be only alternative to give the unfortunate childless couples out there a chance .
C.. If a woman that is continually getting children taken off her through NEGLECT then IB sterilization is the answer.
AND D... I dont personally agree with them unless it is a proven medical thing that effects a childs future apart from A..

chav1 · 12-12-2006, 03:29

if abortions are made illigal it will just revert to the old days when pregnant women ended up on a strangers kitchen table for a few quid which often ended up with the mother and child dying

each person is entitled to their own decision and no one has teh right to pressure anyone aginst what they choose because they dont like it

abortion should not be used as contreception i agree but quite frankly what another person decides to do is none of my buisness

gets real tricky when a woman wants an abortion and the father dosnt though donst it , if i remeber right a man took his partner to court because he wanted the baby she wanted to terminate and if i also remeber corretly again he lost and the baby was terminated , slightly off topic but somat else to think about

lettie · 12-12-2006, 08:46

Awwww... I'm so sorry Mummiboo. It must be a hard time for you right now, and so brave of you to answer this thread. My thoughts are with you.

I personally wouldn't use termination of pregnancy as a form of contraception but there is a place for it in cases of rape and foetal abnormalities which are incompatible with life (the medical term for disabilities so severe that the baby would be stillborn or die shortly after birth). There is also a place for termination with foetal abnormality which would severely compromise a family's quality of life. The decision to terminate is often a very difficult one, bear in mind that most women bond with their babies almost as soon as they find themselves pregnant. In cases of foetal abnormality, it is often a huge shock and a gut wrenching decision.

I don't believe that it is on anyone's agenda to ever have a termination. If you ask a little girl what she wants to do when she grows up, she will never say 'have a termination'.......

The reason that medical staff use the term 'abortion' for what we know as a miscarriage is because that it is (and always has been) the correct medical term. Unfortunately the word abortion has been misused by lay people to mean the deliberate ending of a pregnancy and it has stuck. Therefore, when medical and nursing staff use the term 'missed abortion', women who have miscarried may find it upsetting. The staff are not being insensitive, they are using the correct medical term. A deliberate ending of a pregnancy is know as a termination... I hope this explains some of the terminology, as legally, the correct wording has to be used in medical records in order to avoid confusion.

harwood red · 12-12-2006, 13:45

Big hugs to you mummiboo and to your family, my thoughts are with you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

For me I couldn't terminate a baby, but I don't believe it is my right to judge others (except those who do use it as a contraception!!!!)

I think every case is unique

jimmi5bellies · 12-12-2006, 13:45

mummiboo, that is so sad. I too have lost a baby in the past, know what you are going through and my thoughts are with you.

Chrissie xxx

garinda · 12-12-2006, 16:39

I think it should be legal, and that the choice is there for people to decide for themselves. I notedly said people, rather than woman's choice, as I think both parents should have a say in the decision.

It does make me angry when people use terminations as birth control. Anyone can make a mistake, but when you get to above three abortions that is just stupidity.

lindsay ormerod · 12-12-2006, 19:16

The choice needs to be there for all the reasons stated above except to be used as a way odf disposing of an unwanted baby that is the result of simple carelessness. As has been mentioned,the morning after pill is now readily available.
Mummiboo;you have my best wishes,had the same situation myself in 2002 and it's very difficult to get the elation of pregnancy out of your head when you are told it's not going to happen.Don't give up.x