Accrington Limericks

[Bob Dobson]

Some years ago I published a book called 'Lancashire Limericks' by John Sephton. In it are verses on Accrington, Church and Ossie. I show the Accrington one here, and will post the others soon. Members may like to write & post others, on , for instance, Laneside, Fern Gore, Bash, Huncoat ,Clayton,Rishton- and Accrington, Church & Ossie.

A 'omin'-pigeon fancier fro' Accrington
'ad a cropped white-ringt brid and a black-ringt un;
T'cropped brid 'ad to walk,
So he learned it to talk,
An' as folk t'best road to Accrington

[Bob Dobson]

A bride wi no groom at Church church
Sniffed, "Ah reckon Ah've bin left in t'lurch lurch;
'E's nobbut a lad lad.
Not really bab bad
But he want's knockin' off his purch purch

(John Sephton)

[accyman]

well i did donate a little limerick of my own about accrington but after 24 hours it finaly got removed lol

thanx to the people who supported my limerick and awarded the karma

[beechy]

there was a young man come from Accy
whose clothes were all dirty and taccy
his mam said stan your not a clean man
but dont you just think im your lacky

[Lilly]

There was a young woman from Ossy
Who was taken up to the hozzy
A lift she did cadge
With a woman called Madge
Whose left eye had gone gozzy

They got back from the hozzy quite late
They were both in a terrible state
And poor old Madge
Hadn't got a blue badge
So she'd had to pay for her wait.

[accyman]

there was a young man from accy
whos hands were all sticky and tacky
i wont waste your time
i will be quite frank
i think hed just had a wink

[slinky]

Originally Posted by accyman

there was a young man from accy
whos hands were all sticky and tacky
i wont waste your time
i will be quite frank
i think hed just had a wink

Poor ****** Conjunctivitis is horrible!!

[accyman]

Originally Posted by slinky

Poor ****** Conjunctivitis is horrible!!

im glad somone has a clean mind everyone esle seems to think they have a better word for that poem which i find disgusting and repulsive and am actualy shocked by the suggestion put forward

[garinda]

There was an old man from Ossy,
who shopped in his wife's old swimming cossie.
Whlist out buying bread,
he suddenly dropped dead,
and they buried 'im in a grave which read 'Flossie'.

[garinda]

There was a young lad from Accy,
whose extremities were incredibly tacky.
One day playin' cricket,
his hand touched the wicket,
'n' now he can't roll his baccy.

[Benipete]

I can get the first three lines ok then my warped mind takes me into the over 18 section.Think I need help.

[garinda]

There was a young woman from Bash,
who'd do owt for a spare bit o' cash.
Whilst dancin' in nude,
she slipped on some food,
'n' now she's come out in a rash.

I'll get my coat.

[WillowTheWhisp]

There was a young lass from Fern Gore
Who thought Bullough Park was a bore
She demanded new rides,
Seesaws, swings, ropes and slides
But the council's response was - NO MORE!

[garinda]

There was a young lady from Church.
For a weak man she decided to search.
Whilst in Gatty Park,
she found two after dark,
and now she's a pair she can birch.

[Lilly]

There was a young girl from Springhill
Who swallowed an odd looking pill
She downed it in one
Whilst her family looked on
Now she's a bloke who calls himself Don.