Apologising for Christmas?? - Page 4

Gordon Booth · 02-09-2011, 21:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

We were so poor, all I got was a hole in my stocking. My dad told me that santa left lots of presents, but they all fell through the hole and broke.

Yes Margaret, times were bad. I was eight before they told me there WAS a Father Christmas. That was October. In November they told me I was too old to believe in him.

Mancie · 02-09-2011, 22:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

At the end of the item the lady announcer said something like 'We apologise in advance for any offence the last item may have caused'.
Tell me I've got it wrong! Tell me I've misheard or misunderstood what she meant!

Hang on.. why don't you tell us what you thought she meant and why anyone should say you are wrong?

Eric · 02-09-2011, 23:15

Worst Christmas I had was last year. I was feeling terribly depressed; so, I decided to call a crisis line. I ended up talking to someone in a call centre in Pakistan. When I told the guy at the other end of the line that I was suicidal, he was no help at all .... he kept asking me if I knew how to drive a truck

Gordon Booth · 03-09-2011, 11:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mancie

Hang on.. why don't you tell us what you thought she meant and why anyone should say you are wrong?

Why don't you tell us why you attach me to some thread or post about a Muslim with two phones?
Assuming you can remember what you were rambling on about a day ago.

I was actually concerned that the PC brigade had struck again. You know who I mean-those people who think we shouldn't mention,or if we do we should apologise for mentioning, Christmas, Christianity,being English, the British Empire,schools where the pupils don't want to learn and the teachers can't teach etc,.etc,.
If you couldn't understand that you're either showing worrying signs of paranoia yourself or you're on something that stops you thinking clearly.
I still hope you have a Merry Christmas- it would be nice to think there was at least one day a year when you were cheerful and civil.

jaysay · 03-09-2011, 13:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

Why don't you tell us why you attach me to some thread or post about a Muslim with two phones?
Assuming you can remember what you were rambling on about a day ago.

I was actually concerned that the PC brigade had struck again. You know who I mean-those people who think we shouldn't mention,or if we do we should apologise for mentioning, Christmas, Christianity,being English, the British Empire,schools where the pupils don't want to learn and the teachers can't teach etc,.etc,.
If you couldn't understand that you're either showing worrying signs of paranoia yourself or you're on something that stops you thinking clearly.
I still hope you have a Merry Christmas- it would be nice to think there was at least one day a year when you were cheerful and civil.

Not much chance Gordon after after all Christmas is a time to eat DRINK and be happy

mobertol · 03-09-2011, 14:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Oh, Eric.....you've gone all sensible.......I was looking forward to more of the pythonesque.
Kleenex are far more hygienic though. I can remember my grandma boiling up hankies on the gas stove...in a pan. My Grandad had been on the beer and was a bit intoxicated.
He came in and helped himself to some of the 'soup' that was boiling away(hankies) and a chunk of buttered bread......he told my grandma that the soup was 'short o' summat' and suggested she chucked another onion in.
I don't think she ever told him that he had had 'hankie broth'.

PRICELESS, Margaret, ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!!

mobertol · 03-09-2011, 14:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

S'not funny

I don't believe I actually typed that

I love the phrase "snot rags"

And I love being able to say it without getting a back-hander from my mom

By the way, folks over there don't use them any more, do they? I apologise profoundly to all those workers who lost their jobs because people would rather wipe their noses on disposable kleenex, than on soggy snot rags

I prefer "Man-size" (kleenex that is -but you can't get them over here....)
A'tissue

Margaret Pilkington · 03-09-2011, 15:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobertol

PRICELESS, Margaret, ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!!

Glad it made you laugh.
I couldn't believe it when my grandma told me(well, no she didn't tell me, she was recounting the tale to her friend......I was under the table ear - wigging)I felt sure that water with vinegar in it could not be mistaken for broth...of any description...especially as it had hankies floating in it......but my grandad was daft when he had had one or two too many.

Gordon Booth · 03-09-2011, 16:08

Ah, Margaret and Eric, do you remember those lovely open fires you had at Christmas?

Trouble was a bit of Christmas wrapping paper and four or five Christmas cards didn't burn long, you soon had to put your coat back on.

Eric · 03-09-2011, 16:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

Ah, Margaret and Eric, do you remember those lovely open fires you had at Christmas?

Trouble was a bit of Christmas wrapping paper and four or five Christmas cards didn't burn long, you soon had to put your coat back on.

What coat?

But I do remember writing notes to Santa, then holding them over the fire and watching them fly up the chimney ... and all the way to the North Pole

Less · 03-09-2011, 16:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

What coat?

But I do remember writing notes to Santa, then holding them over the fire and watching them fly up the chimney ... and all the way to the North Pole

I remember the same, could you imagine todays parents allowing a child to do that these days?
They'd get a life sentence for child endangerment.

Gordon Booth · 03-09-2011, 17:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

But I do remember writing notes to Santa, then holding them over the fire and watching them fly up the chimney ... and all the way to the North Pole

Yes, I did that but they told me if I sent it too early Father Christmas would be too busy to read it.
So I had to send it on Boxing Day then I might get something the NEXT Christmas.

Eric · 03-09-2011, 18:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

Yes, I did that but they told me if I sent it too early Father Christmas would be too busy to read it.
So I had to send it on Boxing Day then I might get something the NEXT Christmas.

In order to convince me that Santa didn't exist, my dad told me that the notes were still up the chimney. To prove this, he stuffed me up the chimney, rammed a broom up my butt, and lit a fire. I scooted up the chimney and found the notes .... and my dad got the chimney swept for free.