Average contents: 2

Gayle · 08-01-2006, 15:26

This is a genuine label that was found on a box of trainers.

It's almost on a par with the lipstick that's advertised on TV that claims to last all day. Then when you read the small print at the bottom of the screen it says 'reapplication may be needed to maintain colour'.

Has anyone else seen any other daft ones?

mrskitty · 08-01-2006, 15:49

How about bags of peanuts that have the warning label 'may contain nuts'.lol...i hope so!
quite a common one.

K.S.H · 08-01-2006, 16:07

Hers some I found
•Sleeping Pills -- Caution: May make you drowsy.
•Lighters -- Contents flammable.
•Dog Shampoo -- The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
•Shampoo -- Intended for use on hair only -- not eyes.
•Stroller -- Remove infant before folding for storage.
•Curling Iron -- Not for internal use.
•Microwave Oven -- Do not use for drying pets.
•Child's Playhouse -- This is not a toy.
•Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally.
•King Size Mattress -- Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
•Can of Insecticide -- This spray is harmful to insects.
•Firecrackers -- Do not light while holding in mouth.
•Fat-Free Potato Chips -- May cause anal leakage.
•Peanut Butter -- Warning: May contain nuts.
•TV Dinner -- Remove plastic wrap cover before eating.
•Batteries -- Do not swallow. C or D batteries may cause choking.
•.22-Caliber Rifle -- May cause injury or death.
•Hardware Store Rotary Drill -- This product not intended for dental purposes.
•Hemorrhoid Suppositories -- Remove aluminum wrapping before insertion.
•Disposable Diapers -- Dispose of after use.
•Electric Cattle Prod -- For use on animals only.
Hair Coloring- Do not use as Ice Cream Topping

Hair Dryer- Do not use while sleeping

Iron- Never iron clothes on body

Coffee- Contents may be hot

Children's cough medicine- Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this substance

Airline Peanuts- Directions: Open Package, Eat Nuts

Peanuts- Warning: May Contain Nuts

Computers- Keyboard not Detected: press F1 to continue

Dumpster- Do not play in or around

Camera- Camera will only work with film inside

Japanese GameCube Manual- Do not put head in deck: May result in injury

Aspirin- Do not eat cotton inside

Can of Soup- Open Can, Empty into serving container, Stir

Cigarette Lighter: Do not ignite near face

Chain Saw- Do not attempt to stop chain with hand or genitals

Soda Bottle (on Bottom)- Open other end

Drink Bottle- After opening, hold upright

Holiday Lights- For indoor or outdoor use only

Kitchen Knives- Keep out of Children

Marks and Spencer's Bread Pudding- Product will be hot after heating

Blanket- Do not use as protection from a Tornado

Shower Cap- Fits one head only

Bottle Cap- Warning: Bottle cap is small

Light bulb- Do not Lick

Microwave- Do not put cats or children in microwave

Kitchen Knives- Do not stab self. May result in injury or death

Dial Soap- Use like any other soap

Food Processor- Do not use for other use

Children's Superman Costume- Wearing of this garment does not enable child to fly

Bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert- Do not turn upside down

Most Frozen Foods- Must be heated before eating

Water Bottle- For best results, remove cap before drinking

Sleep Aid- May cause drowsiness

Blender- Do not use as an Aquarium

Razor Blade- Do not use during an earthquake

Dog Biscuits- Not intended for human consumption

Swanson Frozen Dinner- Serving Suggestion: Defrost

Air Conditioner- Avoid Dropping Air Conditioners out of window

Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up gasoline or other flammable liquids

Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up things that are currently burning

Nabisco Easy Cheese- For best results, remove cap

Liquid Plumber- Do not reuse bottle to store beverages

Bowl Fresh- Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet

Toilet Plunger- Do not use near power lines

Floodlight- This flood light is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Coat- Wash when dirty

Wheelbarrow- Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 degrees Fahrenheit

Mattress- Do not attempt to swallow

Computer manual- If on button does not work, try plugging computer into the wall, usually with a power cord

Fire Logs- Risk of Fire

Matches- Matches may catch on fire

Dog Shampoo- Do not use contents to feed fish

Curling Iron- Warning: Product may burn eyes

Hair Dryer- Do not use in shower

Shin Guards- Shin guards cannot protect any other part of body that they don't cover

Ziploc- Do not climb in bag and zip it up: doing so may cause injury

Shipment of Hammers- Do not swallow

Sign at a railroad station- Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted

Silly Putty- Do not use as earplugs

Frisbee- may contain small parts

Altoid Mints- Replace cap between use

Beach Ball- Do not over-inflate. May cause ball to burst at seams

Watch- Japan quality: Made in China

Road Sign- Caution water on road during rain.

7 Up-Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening

Sainsburys Mineral Water-suitable for vegetarians

Silk Soy Milk- Shake well and buy often

Volvic Natural Mineral Water- Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill

Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone
The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book: To place or answer a call, lift the handset. To place a call, dial the desired number. To end the call, hang up the handset. To put on hold, press "Hold"

Windex- Do not spray in eyes

Herbal Essences Maximum Hold Hairspray- WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry.

Heinz Ketchup- Put on Food

Bakery Cherries- Flavored with real fruit

Domino Sugar- Ingredients: Sugar

Ring Pops- Made with real fruit juices: (Artificially flavored)

Fruit by the Foot- Remove from cellophane before eating

Hormel Pepperoni- Do not eat packet

Haagan-Daz Ice Cream- Caution: Ice cream is cold

Lunchables Nachos- Directions: Dip chips in salsa and cheese

Giant Bucket of Pickles used in Fast Food Restaurants- Warning: Children can drown in bucket, do not place kids in juice

Wal-Mart Fish Tank- "Additional purchase ideas: rocks, aquatic plant life, fish"

Mr. Bubbles- Not intended for human consumption

RCA Television Remote Control- Not Dishwasher Safe

Road Sign- "Ignore this sign".

Road Sign Cruise ships use airport exit

Road Sign- Warning to tourists: don't laugh at the natives.

Dryer- Do not use dryer to dry pets and children

Road Sign- If tunnel is dark, remove sunglasses.

McDonalds Sign- Parking for Drive-Thru service only

Road Sign- Secret Nuclear Bunker >

500 piece puzzle- Some Assembly required

Harry Potter Toy broom- This broom does not actually fly

McDonalds Toys- Warning! this bag is not a toy

"Guess Who" Game- Cards do not actually talk

Lawnmower- Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.

Mulch- Contains Forest Products

Bath and Body Works Candle- Final Product not tested on animals

Bag of Carrots- Ingredients: Carrots

Laundry Detergent- Remove all clothes before distributing in washing machine

Red Baron Pizza- When cooking, place crust side down

Beef Taco Hot Pockets- This Product must be cooked prior to eating (This is a frozen food)

Roll of Life Savers- not a flotation device.

Handgun- Not to be used as a nutcracker.

Panty Hose- Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

Palm Sander- Not to be used to sand palms.

On a microscope- Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

Windshield sun shade- Do not drive with shade in place.

Infant's bathtub- Do not throw baby out with tub water.

Wheelbarrow- Not intended for highway use

TV Manual- Do not pour liquids on TV set.

Shampoo- Use repeatedly for sever damage.

Toner Cartridge for printer- Do not eat Toner

Novelty Rock Garden set- Eating rocks can lead to broken teeth.

In an guide to setting up a new computer: to avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room Temperature before opening.
(instruction was on the inside of the box.)

Piano- Harmful or Fatal is swallowed.

Wet Suit- Capacity:1

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins-Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?

Manual for a heated seat cushion-Warning: Do not use on eyes.

On a bag of fresh grapes- Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.

Instructions for a cordless phone- Do not put lit candles on phone.

Birthday Candles- Extinguish candles before throwing away

Bulls-eye Ball- Score depends on skill of player.

Coffee Pot- Broken glass can cause injury. Do not hold pot over people.

*NEW* Coolerz Gum- Not for weight control

And some dumb signs:

On a Septic Tank Truck- Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Septic Tank Truck- We're #1 in the #2 Business

On a Plumber's Truck- We repair what your husband fixed

Pizza Shop Slogan- Seven Days without Pizza makes one weak

On a Plastic Surgeon's office door- "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a towing company- We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electricians truck- Let us remove your shorts

In a nonsmoking area- "if we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

On a maternity room door- Push. Push. Push.

At an Optometrists office- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a Fence- Salesman welcome! Dog food is expensive.

At a car dealership- the best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the Electric Company- We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.

In a Restaurant window- Don't stand there and be hungry, come inside and get fed up.

In front of a Funeral home- Drive Carefully. We'll wait.

K.S.H · 08-01-2006, 16:07

edit- duplicated post

Gayle · 08-01-2006, 16:10

Goodness me, the world HAS gone mad.

The daft thing is that most of those disclaimers will have been added to the packaging because someone will have tried it.

K.S.H · 08-01-2006, 16:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle

Goodness me, the world HAS gone mad.

The daft thing is that most of those disclaimers will have been added to the packaging because someone will have tried it.

Really? Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally.
Want to tell us more

Gayle · 08-01-2006, 16:16

Obviously I haven't tried it but I'll bet someone somewhere in the world has tried it and then written a letter of complaint to the company in question.

grannyclaret · 08-01-2006, 16:29

this thread has realy made me laugh... i am not sure it was meant to .....

Gayle · 08-01-2006, 16:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by grannyclaret

this thread has realy made me laugh... i am not sure it was meant to .....

oh, it was meant to entertain.

But it does baffle me how dumb some people would have to be to try some of the things - but try them they do!

harwood red · 08-01-2006, 16:38

there are some crackers there!!! Madness, pure madness

shillelagh · 08-01-2006, 22:39

On the back of one of the kids pc games - multiplayer requirements are not needed for single player mode

On the back of a lemonade bottle - CAUTION do not use mechanical aids to remove this cap

WillowTheWhisp · 08-01-2006, 23:06

It does make you wonder what on earth gets into some people's heads doesn't it?

I love the serving suggestions you see pictured on things like tins of baked beans - the beans on a plate! Oh yeah right, like I was thinking of drinking them from a cup.

SPUGGIE J · 08-01-2006, 23:29

Manufacturers are scared we will end up like the states in sueing when things go wrong so on goes stupid advice to cover their arthers.