Banning smacking in public places - Page 4

accymel · 11-04-2007, 11:36

Isn't RESPECT an earned thing & 2 way street, u give respect u get it back ???? Violence of any kind does not earn respect it gains fear & control

Ianto.W. · 11-04-2007, 11:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flash

you can't teach your kids respect by smacking them. The only thing it teaches them is that is that if you hit someone you can get what you want.That isn't respect.

In my opinion you are correct, respect has to be earned not imposed.

WillowTheWhisp · 11-04-2007, 11:38

I accept that not smacking and reasoning with their child works for some people. I also understand that it's totally impossible to reason with a toddler having a hysterical tantrum. I do not accept that a smack is child abuse and that when done in a controlled way and not hitting out in a fit of anger it is not violence. Perhaps people have a different conception of what a smack is. Although I accept that some people choose not to smack and find that for them it works, it doesn't work for everyone as not all children are the same and I do believe a lot of problems arise when people have been forbidden to reprimand their children in the way that works for that child.

I agree with Margaret that it can be far more damaging to a child to be yelled at into their face and to be told they are stupid, ignorant etc etc. Some parents who are so proud of their non-violent way of disciplining their child just don't realise that they may have done far more long term psychological damage by undermining the child's self esteem with yelling at them in anger. A smack followed by a cuddle shows that you love the child but not what they did. I've cringed sometimes when I've heard some parents swearing at and verbally abusing their children in public.

flashy · 11-04-2007, 11:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Parents want the best for their children (usually).......and most parents know what works best for them...most times having used many methods to achieve the right response....and sometimes a smack is the last resort...when everything else has been tried.
My daughter leaves both of her children in my care. She knows that I will enforce discipline in the way that I did when she was a child......which MAY be a smack if the need arises......she has no problems with that because she knows that I do not vent my anger/frustration/tiredness etc. on the children.
And I know that reasoning with a 3 year old having a tantrum is almost impossible.

well said margaret

Flash · 11-04-2007, 11:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by flashytart

yeah i would accept it cos i'd slap him back

good on ya girl, but i will never agree. It would be a very boring world if we all thought the same.

flashy · 11-04-2007, 11:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flash

good on ya girl, but i will never agree. It would be a very boring world if we all thought the same.

your quite right it would be boring, thats why everyone is entitled to there own opinions

Flash · 11-04-2007, 11:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

Isn't RESPECT an earned thing & 2 way street, u give respect u get it back ???? Violence of any kind does not earn respect it gains fear & control

well said young man

accymel · 11-04-2007, 11:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flash

well said young man

hehehehehehe looks like i've had a gender change in cyberspace

not for the 1st time no worries & thanks flash lol

Ianto.W. · 11-04-2007, 12:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flash

well said young man

Sorry mel, had to laugh at that one karma flash if it lets me.

accymel · 11-04-2007, 12:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Sorry mel, had to laugh at that one karma flash if it lets me.

Hehehe so did i

Flash · 11-04-2007, 14:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by accymel

hehehehehehe looks like i've had a gender change in cyberspace

not for the 1st time no worries & thanks flash lol

sorry about that. i realised i had made a mist.ake as soon as i had posted it but it was too late

Margaret Pilkington · 11-04-2007, 15:04

I DO NOT advocate smacking as a means to gaining respect....and I do not use smacking as a first line of discipline.....but what I AM saying is that in SOME circumstances a smack is justified.
I am sure there are many ways of parenting.......and only parents know what is best for their own children. Firm, but fair is what it should be...and the child should be left under no illusions as to what behaviour is acceptable and what is not.

CASPER · 11-04-2007, 15:07

I don't understand how it helps to smack a toddler who is having a tantrum. As an ex childminder and mother of two I have had to deal with many a tantruming toddler and NEVER had to resort to violence.

Margaret Pilkington · 11-04-2007, 15:07

And I DO believe that the lack of parental discipline is responsible for SOME of the yobbish behaviour that we are seeing on our streets and in our classrooms today. That is MY opinion...you don't have to agree with it...you most certainly will have your own views.

mrskitty · 11-04-2007, 16:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by CASPER

I don't understand how it helps to smack a toddler who is having a tantrum. As an ex childminder and mother of two I have had to deal with many a tantruming toddler and NEVER had to resort to violence.

Well done-karma on its way-personally i think smacking is lazy parenting because it takes more effort to keep calm and deal with a tantrum in a non-violent manner than it does to smack a child and force them to stop doing/playing with etc-but never thinking about the consequences.
But like many people have said on here were all entitled to our own views.