Banning smacking in public places

[harwood red]

Well both my kids have been smacked...and to be honest once threatened my eldest when he was alot younger to pull his pants down and smack his bare bottom in middle of town if he didn't stop (whatever it was he was doing, lol) he didn't so I did...

So thats me reported then

Saying that I now have two well adjusted teenagers who up to now (finngers crossed) haven't been in any kind of trouble... so I say it's because they were smacked when they were little?? I think it's part of it, but more due to the overall discipline and respect instilled from a young age.... and have to say more than anything RESPECT is definately the key

there thats my twopenneth worth

[Tinkerbelle]

I always felt when mine were younger (none get a smack anymore the oldest 2 are bigger than me ) that it was damned if you do and damned if you don't. The worst was the toddler tantrums in town where you'd hear remarks from the older people such as "I'd give 'em a clout if it were mine" then on the flip side if you did give them a smack you'd get disgusted looks from other people. It should be personal choice whether you use a smack as a form of punishment.

[LancYorkYankee]

I grew up thinking spanking (slap to the hand or a smack on the butt) were very normal as was being beaten bare legged with a belt. We were slapped for the most minor of perceived infractions quite regularly while the beatings were more of a monthly thing for me and my big brother. Me and my siblings obeyed, especially in public, out of shear fear.

Because of this background, I was so very scared to have children when Cindy and I got married. I really didn't know what proper discipline was. Her family was more of threats not carried out or very loud screaming and yelling.

We waited 5 years and I believe have done quite well with disipline. Neither child ever beaten or hit out of anger. Both only spanked occassionally when small and then did the "no TV, computer, video game etc." thing.

I don't believe Cindy has ever spanked them but she does scream a bit. When they just yelled back I'd have to either tell Cindy to give em a smack or I would. That calmed everyone, except me, down!

And that's my 2 cents. I've got another 2 cents to be held till later!

Brian

[Margaret Pilkington]

My father only had to give us a certain look for us all to know that we had gone too far. And yes I did get my share of wallopings as a child....and they weren't the kind of gentle smack I would administer now(as a last resort)...so I guess I must fall into the category of an abused child.....but let me tell you, every one of them was for something that I KNEW I should not have been doing....did I fear my parents? only when I knew I had been up to no good, for I knew that the threats were NOT threats....the punishment would be meted out as promised. Did this lose my respect for my parents? No, on the contrary.....I knew them to be just and fair, and that we were ALL subjected to the same discipline.

[katex]

I just love the advert (don't ask me what for) where the child has a tantrum in the Supermarket aisle lead down and banging on the floor, as they do. The mother then proceeds to do exactly the same actions which jolts total surprise to the child; his tantrum stops immediately 'cause he now has to laugh at his mum.

Can work, ya' know .. children really don't like to throw a tantrum and wish to get out of the situation so if you can make them laugh during their drama this can bring them round. Another way is just to walk away non-plussed as if they don't belong to you, and once they realise not grabbing your attention, will soon calm down. Course have to listen to their screams from 3 aisles away, but worth it in the end.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Katex......I have done just that...lay down on the floor mimicking what the terror was doing....he continued to scream his head off, and someone thought I was having an epileptic fit! Was about to shove something in my mouth to stop me biting my tongue

[Margaret Pilkington]

You can guess who felt silly in that little scenario can't you?

[LancYorkYankee]

That's the thing Margaret, my dad either gave us a look or that lower voice and we'd about pee our pants. The worst was most of the beatings were based on lies my mom told my dad. She had some type of personality disorder that caused her to feel more loved by our dad if we were being punished. So she either made stuff up or, more usually, radically stretched the truth.

Those days would occur by her storming into the bedroom stating wait till your father gets home and slam the door. We'd be sitting in the living room not even knowing who was gonna "get it!"

The worst was while getting beat, he'd say stuff like "why are you such rotten kids" and my mother would be yelling about how he loves her more than us.

By far, far, far away, the emotional abuse was so much worse than any spanking, beating, spanking received. The negative words, statements cut downs, put downs, belittlings, haunt us all to this day. It's bizarre how much damage can be done to an innocent child.

When folks say I use my faith in Jesus Christ as a crutch, I informed them that my faith has been more like an Intensive Care Unit! Although I don't know what tomorrow brings, I know, I could not/would not have survived to this day, the man that I am without Him!

Not a Sermon, just a Thought!

Brian

[Margaret Pilkington]

And another thing was, when we were getting our spankings my dad used to say 'This is going to hurt me a lot more that it hurts you'.......I never quite knew what he meant until I grew up and realised that it meant he had in some way, failed to get the point of the warning not to do something, over to us.

[katex]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Katex......I have done just that...lay down on the floor mimicking what the terror was doing....he continued to scream his head off, and someone thought I was having an epileptic fit! Was about to shove something in my mouth to stop me biting my tongue

Well, did only state 'can work' Margaret, not 100% foolproof ....

[panther]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

My father only had to give us a certain look for us all to know that we had gone too far. And yes I did get my share of wallopings as a child....and they weren't the kind of gentle smack I would administer now(as a last resort)...so I guess I must fall into the category of an abused child.....but let me tell you, every one of them was for something that I KNEW I should not have been doing....did I fear my parents? only when I knew I had been up to no good, for I knew that the threats were NOT threats....the punishment would be meted out as promised. Did this lose my respect for my parents? No, on the contrary.....I knew them to be just and fair, and that we were ALL subjected to the same discipline.

i didnt fear my parents, just did as i was told when i did get a wallop, its the only way i learned to behave, otherwise i would be a right little sod!
but there are some kids out there who are really abused, wether mentally or physically, by parents who dont give a damn, and do it for no reason at all

[LancYorkYankee]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

And another thing was, when we were getting our spankings my dad used to say 'This is going to hurt me a lot more that it hurts you'.......I never quite knew what he meant until I grew up and realised that it meant he had in some way, failed to get the point of the warning not to do something, over to us.

I actually used that in a different way. I hope it doesn't come across as psychotic or something! When Annie and Joshua were about 9 and 6, they "lied" about doing a certain chore. I had them come out into the garden and asked if they agreed they deserved a spanking. They both agreed.

I took off my belt and proceeded to smack my upper thigh (I was in shorts) a number of times. It left some pretty harsh red marks. They were quite confused. I explained that they had done something wrong that deserved discipline. Because I love them I was willing to take that punishment for them. When we do wrong, we cause various degrees of pain. Sometimes to ourselves and sometimes to others.

I believe it was a good lesson for them as they still remember it. Ya know, I guess it does sound fairly psychotic. It was just a way for me to avoid "beating" them but to show kinda what used to happen to us.

I'm really sorry guys but as you canm see I'm kinda in a wicked manic mood hence the extra babble. I'm off to cut a tree down with my teeth. That should dispell some of the extra energy!

Hugs and Kisses,

BEA

[flashy]

Originally Posted by Tinkerbelle

I always felt when mine were younger (none get a smack anymore the oldest 2 are bigger than me ) that it was damned if you do and damned if you don't. The worst was the toddler tantrums in town where you'd hear remarks from the older people such as "I'd give 'em a clout if it were mine" then on the flip side if you did give them a smack you'd get disgusted looks from other people. It should be personal choice whether you use a smack as a form of punishment.

here here, sod the others

[Lilly]

Originally Posted by flashytart

here here, sod the others

Yeah here here.God that irritates me so much when you're in a shop and one of your kids has the dreaded tantrum,ooooh the comments from other people just beggar belief.The older people tend to be the worst.There's always some nosy old biddy nearby ready to wag the finger and pass some useless comment like 'oooh you've got your hands full' or 'I think she's tired love,you'd best go home','I think that one's hungry',or the best one I've heard to date which was 'oooh what a racket.We don't come to the supermarket to listen to that'.Honestly I feel like smacking them before the kids! You'd think they'd never had any of their own.

[flashy]

Originally Posted by Lilly

Yeah here here.God that irritates me so much when you're in a shop and one of your kids has the dreaded tantrum,ooooh the comments from other people just beggar belief.The older people tend to be the worst.There's always some nosy old biddy nearby ready to wag the finger and pass some useless comment like 'oooh you've got your hands full' or 'I think she's tired love,you'd best go home','I think that one's hungry',or the best one I've heard to date which was 'oooh what a racket.We don't come to the supermarket to listen to that'.Honestly I feel like smacking them before the kids! You'd think they'd never had any of their own.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA it must run in our family lilly