Birth order.

[cashman]

Originally Posted by heth

I do agree thought it did seem very american that test.

Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.

[cashman]

Originally Posted by garinda

Does she?

Perhaps we all want what we didn't have.

I do love my brother, but like you, much prefered my own company as a child, no one could match the imaginative world that I'd created, and I still do prefer my own company.

Having met your lovely daughter, she has a very special, empathetic quality, which she might not have developed, if she'd had siblings. Perhaps it was meant to be.

I do think most of it's daft, but I do think some of who I am today, was defined by being a first born, to two new sets of grandparents, and the first child born in our extended family for a generation.

I wasn't spoiled, but a lot of attention was invested in me. Which really, sadly, seems to diminish with the arrival of the next child in our family. Not especially from parents, but from the whole family as a whole.

My brother thinks this is true. There are boxes of photographs of me, and tons of film, and very few of him. Him being the film making grandparents' third grandchild, by the time he was born.

I was also given lots of things, that had belonged to children from previous generations, books, precious toys, childrens' furniture, which he didn't get given to him. Though I suppose why would they save stuff to give him, they didn't know he'd be born two years later than me.

I do think there's something in it...perhaps.

If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by cashman

If yer from a good/loving family, don't dwell on crap like this i reckon.

We did come from a fantastically loving family. Still do.

Trust me, I don't ever dwell on this.

It was only Claytonx's post, about them wishing they'd had siblings, which reminded me of this subject.

Then again, I would say that, being a first born, wouldn't I, you little baby?

[garinda]

Originally Posted by cashman

Thats probably the reason its a bag of crap.

Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.

A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.

So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.

[cashman]

Originally Posted by garinda

Though how we're all raised, and in what environment, and how we learn to develop relationships with other people, and who those people happen to be, might have an affect on the personality traits we go on to develop throughout our lives.

A child brought up from birth alone in a cellar, might develop slightly differently from a child brought up in the company of other children, in a secure and happy home, say.

So environment may shape our development, as science tends to think, and it might not all be crap.

Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by cashman

Well i was once shut int coal nook, so that may have contributed.

I can understand why.

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by garinda

Claytonx mentioned in another thread, that they regreted not having any siblings, and still do, and it reminded me of this old thread.

Brothers and sisters do have lots of fights growing up too, as well as lots of fun.

My brother and myself had some real ding-dongs, but loved each other really, and as an adult he's been fantastic to me, and I feel lucky to have him, and his family in my life.

Perhaps being an only child makes those that are, better at making friends outside the family, who knows?

Has your status as a child, only child, first born, baby of the family etc, shaped who you are today?

I would have loved to have had a sibling, especially now I see how my kids are so close, as for making friends Rindi, I think your right I used to love making new friends especially female

[jaysay]

Originally Posted by garinda

I can understand why.

Um does answer a lot of questions

[Gayle]

I'm an only child but it seemed to think I was the middle child.

I was an only child due to economics, my parents really couldn't afford another one at the time because they were so young when they had me and then when they could afford one they decided not to have one as the family of three seemed to be just right as it was.

One thing that being an only child has given me is independence. I know that no matter what happens I can cope with things on my own and I can certainly stand up for myself. I'm extremely comfortable in my own company and never need anyone around to entertain me.

What's most interesting about the family dynamics is how me and my longest close friend from school (the one I shared all my growing up with) have done the opposite and she has only had one child because she saw how my life was and I have had two because I thought she had it better.

I can certainly see how Zack is like his Dad and Maddie is like her uncle and the similarity of the dynamics between their relationships.

There's a lot in it but equally it's of no real importance because I couldn't suddenly muster up a younger or older sibling, even if I'd wanted to. So in those immortal words

I AM WHAT I AM

[mobertol]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

My grand parents made much of me....I was their first grandchild and they doted on me......but this was the only place where I felt truly important.

Idem!

I did the quiz and came out as First-born which I am -the description it gave is pretty accurate as far as I can see.

I don't make friends easily - (especially now as an adult and particularly with other women) - but of my 4 "Best-friends" who all remain from childhood, 3 are "only children" -i wonder if there is a reason for this?

Wish i hadn't read the description of a First child in the link on the first post - scary to see all my "issues" in black and white...

[Margaret Pilkington]

don't see them as issues then...see them as opportunites to change...well that is if you want to change. I guess if you see them as issues, you must want to change them.

[Margaret Pilkington]

How we perceive things colours the way we approach issues....they stop being issues if you accept them as part of the person you are.

[mobertol]

It's hard to change who you are and the way you relate to your family members - had realised quite a few things in this sense recently through the "sharing" of past history with a friend. Seeing it written down makes you take notice and realise how you fall into a pattern and can't be yourself properly - time to rebel perhaps!

[Margaret Pilkington]

If change is impossible, acceptance is the only way.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by mobertol

It's hard to change who you are and the way you relate to your family members - had realised quite a few things in this sense recently through the "sharing" of past history with a friend. Seeing it written down makes you take notice and realise how you fall into a pattern and can't be yourself properly - time to rebel perhaps!