Cant wait for school to start

[mumtotwo]

I am now pulling my hair
My two will not get on,if one goes into the others bedroom then a war starts. You can hear them arguing from miles away.
My almost 8yr old daughter has an attitude that stinks like the tip.I might aswell be something on the bottom of her shoe. I bought her new trainers,had her hair-cut(how she wanted it)bought her some new clothes. I then take my son for his hair cut and i dont love her i spend all my money on Tyler.She never gets anything. I ignore her bad behaviour and then i get"you hate me,why dont you listen to me" Because you are screaming at me and i dont want to be screamed at
If she is like this now what will she be like as a teenager
I know i am rambling but i just needed to get it off my chest.
Thanks for listening
Bernie

[entwisi]

My almost 8yr old daughter has an attitude that stinks like the tip.I might aswell be something on the bottom of her shoe. I bought her new trainers,had her hair-cut(how she wanted it)bought her some new clothes. I then take my son for his hair cut and i dont love her i spend all my money on Tyler.She never gets anything. I ignore her bad behaviour and then i get"you hate me,why dont you listen to me"

and that just about sums it up

child has no discipline and you sem to be incapable of enforcing any. when I were a lad I wouldn't have dreamed of shouting at my mum or dad or I would have felt his hand( and before anyone says, I was hit only once and I knew I deserved it before it happened because I deliberately did what I was told not to it ).

Now even if you don't believe in smacking you could use other tools, No TV for a week, take new trainers off her, no computer games, no playing out with mates, no burgers/take aways. Its up to you to make her life uncomfortable in whatever way you can. then and only then do you stand a chance at controlling her. she has to learn to earn your respect through good behaviour. then and only then does she deserve teh treats you gave her. You will be doing her a favour in teh long run, respect is something she must have for people if she stands any chance of getting on in life.

[flashy]

Bernie have you ever tried 'the naughty step'? if she starts sit her on the bottom step of the stairs for 8 minutes (1 minute per year of her life) it does work, she will soon get the message when she keeps having to go back to the stair everytime she starts

they say ignore bad behaviour and praise good behaviour

Reece gets a clout if he starts, he doesnt do it much now because he's growing up, but my mate does the stair thing with her little girl and she says it works

[Loz]

God i would never have dared to speak to my parents like that when i was a kid!
She needs to learn quickly that screaming and shouting don't get you what you want in life.
Think Flashy's is a good idea,seen it work and she will probably get fed up of it very quickly and hopefully calm down a bit!
Good luck!

[BERNADETTE]

I still wouldn't talk to my Mum with anything other than respect, have seen the naughty step tried and tested and it does work. The main thing is be consistent and if you have a partner make sure you are both singing from the same hymn sheet. Kids will try and play you off against each other, it is the way they are. You really need to nip it in the bud now because believe you me it will only get worse. Good Luck

[Lilly]

I am also a mum to two and I know how you feel re the squabbling. Mine squabble over silly things sometimes and it does grind you down.....we are on week 5 of the hols now, there is light at the end of the tunnel so take heart.

However, like Flashy and Entwisi have said, you need to take control and show them that you will not stand for bad behaviour.

I don't often have to punish mine but if I do I find that time alone in their room does the trick.

My kids don't have tvs, computers or cd players in their rooms so they have to sit on the bed and have a think, then after about 15 mins I ask them to come back down and apologise to me then we forget about it...in fact I only usually have to threaten to send them to their rooms and they stop the behaviour.

I wouldn't stand for being shouted at....you are the parent and deserve respect. You must show that you are in control.

Other things you can do are ban the tv, computer games, chocolate etc.
Take it away and do not give it back until you have an apology and an assurance that they will not do whatever it was again.

It doesn't matter which punishment you choose to use....whatever suits you but the main thing is that once you have threatened to do something you must carry it through....don't back down because if you do this you will have lost all credibility, back down once and they won't forget it and the next time you threaten a punishment it will fall on deaf ears.

[blazey]

I don't have my own children but I look after my own brother and sister a lot and also work with kids during summer, and I always operate the rule that if they are fair with me then I will be fair with them.

Instead of being patronising, sit them both down and explain that you want to enjoy them being home from school for the summer, and that of course means no screaming, because nobody enjoys screaming.
Explain that you want to spend time with them both together and individually and you will treat them both equally.

I always sit everyone down and ask everyone individually how they are feeling, and that includes me. Then everybody has an opportunity to say how they are feeling and if they hear bad things about themselves from people watching, for example if your son said that he hates seeing you sad because of your daughter, she'd hopefully feel a bit ashamed and apologise to everyone.

Then you can all have a big hug and get on with the day!

Of course, I don't have to do this often with my brother and sister, but it works with kids on courses, particularly if you have one nightmare child and everyone says constructively that they need to calm down and have fun instead. It might not work, but it is an option and will at least help with the communication issues.

Either that or result in WWIII.

[pipinfort]

The naughty step does indeed work but if if does`nt a clip round the ear does the trick..............

[onlyme]

[quote=mumtotwo;620394]I am now pulling my hair
My two will not get on,if one goes into the others bedroom then a war starts. You can hear them arguing from miles away.
My almost 8yr old daughter has an attitude that stinks like the tip.I might aswell be something on the bottom of her shoe. I bought her new trainers,had her hair-cut(how she wanted it)bought her some new clothes. I then take my son for his hair cut and i dont love her i spend all my money on Tyler.She never gets anything. I ignore her bad behaviour and then i get"you hate me,why dont you listen to me" Because you are screaming at me and i dont want to be screamed at
If she is like this now what will she be like as a teenager
I know i am rambling but i just needed to get it off my chest.
Thanks for listening
Bernie [/quote

Aww hun!! Having seen the kids, I dont think its a case of poor discipline, or anything more than holiday boredom and a bad day! You more than know how to deal with your kids, and think you're just letting things get to you, and your daughter is just taking advantage of you not being at your best.

Keep your chin up, only a couple of weeks left xx

[AccyLass]

The naughty step will work a treat if you ensure your son does if for misbehaving too

My 9 yr old daughter hates that she has to sit there for longer than my 4 yr old

Soon gets the picture across that she should know better cos she is older

Children get fed up just like we do tho,
they have to put up with us for the same amount of time we have to put up with them

Having a daughter a similar age, I can sympathise with how stroppy they get
There is normally a reason tho

Ask her why she feels that you spend all your money on Tyler
Doesn't she feel like she's had enough

I'd put it down to an attention thing, her screaming like that at you

You have managed nearly 5 weeks of hols, only a couple more to go

[mumtotwo]

Thanks onlyme,
We do enforce discipline,my 3 yr old gets sat on the step and the 7yr old has a reward chart.
And yes if i warn them with a punishment it does get followed through.
But unfortunatly my 7 yr old is rather mouthy and no i wouldnt have spoken to my parents like she talks to us. But it is just her way of expressing her frustration.She is an intelligent 7 yr old and gets bored easily.
As i said in the first post i just needed to vent it off,i dont think i needed parenting classes thank you

[Loz]

Sorry didn't mean to upset you

[mumtotwo]

My last post isnt meant to get any ones back up, i think i cope well with madams behaviour,and one of the replies annoyed me and I replied quickly.
Sitting Kaitlyn on the step doesnt work,the reward chart does to a certain extent.
It is just the holidays getting on top of me.
We are off to Scotland on Saturday and then back to school for her and we can try to get back into our routine.
Thank you for listening

[onlyme]

Originally Posted by mumtotwo

Thanks onlyme,
We do enforce discipline,my 3 yr old gets sat on the step and the 7yr old has a reward chart.
And yes if i warn them with a punishment it does get followed through.
But unfortunatly my 7 yr old is rather mouthy and no i wouldnt have spoken to my parents like she talks to us. But it is just her way of expressing her frustration.She is an intelligent 7 yr old and gets bored easily.
As i said in the first post i just needed to vent it off,i dont think i needed parenting classes thank you

Hun I think people were trying to be constructive, rather than attacking your parenting skills. Your original post did sound more about concern about the 7r olds behaviour rather than a regular rant, that I tend to have with Emzy on a regular basis lol

Your 3 year old is imaculately behaved, as is your daughter for the times I have seen her. God knows what the learn off other kids, I know my child has come out with things that I would never dream of saying. I think its more a case of boredom. Is she seeing her school friends regularly, or just getting time away?

Dont worry tho, I think there will be many more grey hairs and balding woman when we see each other in the school yard next lol

[blazey]

Originally Posted by mumtotwo

Thanks onlyme,
We do enforce discipline,my 3 yr old gets sat on the step and the 7yr old has a reward chart.
And yes if i warn them with a punishment it does get followed through.
But unfortunatly my 7 yr old is rather mouthy and no i wouldnt have spoken to my parents like she talks to us. But it is just her way of expressing her frustration.She is an intelligent 7 yr old and gets bored easily.
As i said in the first post i just needed to vent it off,i dont think i needed parenting classes thank you

Are they members of the library? I used to love going to the library at that age and could spend hours choosing books, then spend hours reading them when I got home. Doesnt have the same affect on my sister because she hates reading, but my little brother loves the library!