collegue relationship advice... - Page 2

cashman · 15-07-2005, 22:21

keep well out of it if youve any sense,its a crap situation but its their crap NOT YOURS.

lettie · 16-07-2005, 05:21

I was in a similar situation when I found out my best friend's fiance was cheating on her. After a couple of weeks of soul searching and worrying about what to say, I told her....

She is still a brilliant mate and I had the pleasure of attending her wedding a couple of years ago to a lovely fella (not the cheater). She dumped her fiance, they had been together for 10 years and she was naturally upset. She was glad that I told her, and that she didn't hear it from somebody else.

I think that this is the kind of news you can only break if you know somebody really well.

WillowTheWhisp · 16-07-2005, 08:25

I can understand your feelings about the cheat Mani. I'd feel exactly the same. On one hand my first reaction was that the g/f should know because from what you said she must think he's single and think they have a future together when he's just stringing her along. I wouldn't tell the wife because that could end up breaking up the family which if he dumped the girlfriend and the wife never knew then maybe the family would be OK.

On the other hand if I were the wife and I'd been cheated on and later found out about it I'd feel like my whole marriage from then on had been a sham even if he'd tried to make it work.

Then on a totally different hand (yes, I've got three hands this morning) I think that for your sake you'd be better off keeping out of it because you could end up being seen as the trouble maker.

You've told him what you think of him and what you thnk he ought to do and that's probably as far as you should go.

Maybe the wife will see him with his g/f somewhere and the whole thing come to light that way or maaybe he'll just dump the girl eventually anyway and carry on with his family as if nothing had ever happened.

chav1 · 16-07-2005, 10:22

maybe his wife already suspects her husband is cheating and is also cheating with the window cleaner or somthing lol

edit:

lol somone thinks ime cheating on my partner and deducted my karma for it lol

Quote:

collegue relationship a...16-07-2005 10:44something to hide?

speaking of hiding things wheres the name lol

Mik Dickinson · 16-07-2005, 15:17

to stop any heart ache i would inform her of his marital status

Sparkologist · 16-07-2005, 16:44

Don't do it, Mani. You will only create a sh*t-storm, and you will still have to work with this guy afterwards. The girlfriend could potentially take it badly and in some misguided way blame you for splitting up the relationship.

As the saying goes; "it will all come out in the wash". So sit back and watch the miscreant come apart when he gets found out.

sarah · 16-07-2005, 17:47

Really just stay out of it, it's a different matter if you are friends with one of these people, but this situation just has the potental to be incredibly messy. It's up to the guy in question, his decision and therefore his potential mess, he's the one with alot to loose at the end of the day and if it happens it's his own fault. Good luck to all concerned I say. What people don't know, don't hurt.

-pixie · 16-07-2005, 18:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by chav1

edit:

lol somone thinks ime cheating on my partner and deducted my karma for it lol

speaking of hiding things wheres the name lol

If only it was that easy to get rid of you dear!

If you could find not one, but two women to put up with you that would be the best trick since turning water into wine!

mani · 18-07-2005, 03:42

willow - well the girls from london - he lives in blackburn - and they always meet up in manchester....

so not much chance of her seeing them two together...

at the moment the one i'm leanin for is tellin the gf... he cud as much as an idiot he is cud make things work with his wife despite him neglecting her after the miscarriage. she can move on. maybe this guy needs a kick in the balls to stop him thinkin iwth them.

if he devoted as much time to his wife as he did to her then daym!! his marriage wud b made for the heavens

sarah · 18-07-2005, 06:24

The same could be said for most marriages where an affair is involved. Honestly just let sleeping dogs lie, if the gf is in London and they're carrying on in Manchester, as you say yourself there isn't alot of chance of gf and wife coming face to face at any point. At the moment the bloke is probably finding it all bit exciting, but he'll know which side his bread is buttered, and as soon as the gf starts making demands on his time (and she will) that will be that. There is quite a bit of distance involved here and chances are things will just fizzle out anyway and nobody will be hurt.

Stay well away from all of it. No one will thank you for interfering.