Doesn't seem fair?

AccyMad · 28-09-2006, 10:50

I recently have had the misfortune of being taken to court by my spiteful ex-husband, trying to gain contact with my sons aged 12 & 17 who no longer want to have any contact with him (believe me they both have valid reasons for doing so). Anyway the point of this thread is that apparently because I work part-time I am slightly over the allowed income to obtain legal aid (or public funding as I think it's called now) and so will have to foot my solicitor's bill myself. He on the other hand, because he does not work will have it all paid for him. Apparently, all they take into account for my outgoings each month is my mortgage payment which because I have lived there for 20 years is quite a low amount and they reckon I have enough 'disposable income' to afford a solicitor. They do not take into account council tax, electric, gas or water bills or any other of the many expenses associated with running a home. I have paid all of these single handedly for the last 8 years or so, having never received a penny from him in maintenance. When I rang them for an explanation, I was told that if my circumstances change, i.e. I give up my job, I could apply again. I must add my solicitor has been very good about this and we have come to an arrangement where I can pay the bill off monthly, it just seems so unfair that he should be able to do this and not pay a penny. Sorry if I've gone on a bit but just needed to get this off my chest.

garinda · 28-09-2006, 10:55

It does seem very unfair.

As revenge I would be chasing him for eight years of non-maintenance payements, just to p*ss him off.

AccyMad · 28-09-2006, 11:09

Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind, but you can't get blood out of a stone and at the end of the day at least he can't say we owe him anything. We're just best off rid of him.

Wynonie Harris · 28-09-2006, 11:27

Seems like he's wasting his time and our taxes, as your lads want nowt to do with him.

slinky · 28-09-2006, 11:46

I would have thought at ages 12 years and 17 years old they were old enough to simply say whether they wish to see their father or not, without having to introduce a solicitor and courts..........It all seems like another money making SCAM to me. I could understand if the children were very young, but I really can't understand this.

I am all for fathers being around for their children, BUT, that's in a IDEAL world, and sometimes things happen where you wouldn't want them to be a part of your childrens lives for various reasons. Again I think your children are old enough to make their own minds up about this.

AccyMad · 28-09-2006, 12:24

They certainly are old enough to know their own minds, which is why I couldn't understand why his solicitor even took the 'case' on. Then again she will be paid from the legal aid people, no matter what the outcome so I suppose that speaks for itself. Unfortunately I had no alternative but to go to court once I was issued with court proceedings. Not been a pleasant time for any of us - and I have to pay a fortune for the privilege.

slinky · 28-09-2006, 12:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by AccyMad

They certainly are old enough to know their own minds, which is why I couldn't understand why his solicitor even took the 'case' on. Then again she will be paid from the legal aid people, no matter what the outcome so I suppose that speaks for itself. Unfortunately I had no alternative but to go to court once I was issued with court proceedings. Not been a pleasant time for any of us - and I have to pay a fortune for the privilege.

I feel sorry for you, and hope all goes well. There should be something done about solicitors taking stupid claims on when the client is claiming legal aid. It's quite easy to get a solicitor involved when you have nothing to bloody pay, but it's crap when, like yourself you have to pay for the service. I't you thats being penalised. If your ex husband had to pay these fee's I wounder if he would have bothered with the case?? my thoughts are!! hmm probably not. But hey while he is getting a FREE service why not abuse it eh??

AccyMad · 28-09-2006, 12:36

Thanks Slinky - you've got it in a nutshell.

WillowTheWhisp · 28-09-2006, 13:21

It sounds totally unfair. What do they expect you live off? Fresh air? I am also surprised that a solicitor has even taken this on considering the ages of the children but it all comes down to money I suppose and they are sure of getting paid whatever happens.

steeljack · 28-09-2006, 14:16

I can understand Legal aid being made available for defendants in criminal cases (everyone is innocent till proved guilty etc.) but I don't see why it should be available in civil cases , all legal costs including rental of courtroom time, judges pay, all lawyers fees and more importantly jury pay/ travel/parking expenses (why should a juror have to lose and spend money to sort out someone elses private problems) should be paid by the ligitants .

accymel · 28-09-2006, 15:03

Accymad i totally undertsand what you are going thro been thro the nasties of contact thro court, the sytem isn't air & yes they do make it all to easy to persue silly claims once legal aid covers it, personally it should be no win no fee because then least solicitors/legal team considers cases more & will only go for cases that have a more definate chance of winning or else they dont get paid - would put a stop to 'some' silly absent parents abusing the courts to persue something they cant take seriously & do right in the 1st place in order to get their rights above that of the kids - which is very much apparent these days [as major problem reported in lone parent orgs like gingerbread & one parent families]. Before the topic gets debatable people abusing the system spoils it for genuine folk that are needy or doing the right thing - which is the bit that makes it all so unfair.

In my cases the children were too young to speak for themselves but after the age of 10 yrs old then they are be allowed to have their say. Is caffcass involved or has mediation been suggested ?? - which was governments way of tackling family law to keep issues out of court with exception to violent/serious situ's.

LancYorkYankee · 28-09-2006, 15:23

Hi Accymad, thanks for sharing this issue with your Accy family. So sorry for the strain this is putting on you and your boys. Hope it all works out for you. (don't have any advice just wanted to show support too)

Thanks to Accy mates for the assistance you've given to accymad. It's nice to see your advice and compassion in these types of situations!

bullseyebarb · 28-09-2006, 20:06

If your ex hasn't been paying maintenance, it's a bit of a cheek to show up now and start making demands. Hope your sons will be able to have their say when this case reaches a magistrate. Doubt your ex would be doing this if he weren't getting a legal freebie. Will keep you in my prayers and hope everything turns out well. Please update us as things progress.

Ianto.W. · 28-09-2006, 20:40

Your children will vote with their feet, no matter what any court decides,
may good fortune favour you my dear in your troubles.

Madhatter · 29-09-2006, 00:59

The answer is simple, go to court without a solicitor, you don't need one. even if he gets access rights they won't want to see him, and the 17 yr old certainly can't be forced to see him. Infact you having a solicitor won't make any difference really will it.