Embarrassing Moments

[dotti34]

Apologies if this has been done before, but I thought it would be a bit of fun (and we could probably all do with a laugh) if we shared some embarrassing moments, whether our own or someone else’s. Whether it is something crude like passing wind at a very inopportune moment for instance, or like the loud snore that came from a bloke who had ‘dropped off’ in the middle of a very long speech being given by a man at a conference I was at - anything at all that was cringeworthy at the time.

I’ll start off with an example. I was at a funeral and we had all switched off our mobile phones, as requested. A latecomer came rushing in. The funeral was a full-on Roman Catholic one and just as the priest got to a very deep and meaningful part the latecomer’s phone rang. Of course he had trouble in getting it out of his pocket to turn it off….as you would.

[dotti34]

An embarrassing moment many years ago when I was about 18 has come to mind. The man I was secretary to was in a meeting with some very important business men. I needed to get some correspondence we had received from Paris and the filing cabinet was in the room where the meeting was being held. I opened the door and asked if I could go to the cabinet for a moment as I needed to deal with something that couldn’t wait, my boss said I could and asked me what I was after. All the men were looking my way, waiting for my reply. I said ‘a French letter’. There were a number of suppressed laughs and some Smart Alec remarked that this office was far more interesting than his. My face was bright red as I realised what I had said. My boss simply said (suppressing a laugh also) ‘oh, that girl!’.

Which is probably not as bad as an embarrassing experience he had when there was a phone call for him. The girl who took the call was told he was in the ‘loo. With that she promptly put the caller on hold, went into the men’s toilet, there he was standing at the urinal doing what comes naturally at such a place, she tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned round she said ‘there’s a phone call for you’….. I will not repeat what he (apparently) said.

[monkey hanger]

in the early 70,s i was the owner of a black and grey vauxhall cresta pa. they were getting less common at the time. parked it up in a multi story car park in huddersfield and we went shopping. having an unusual car i did not take much notice of where i left it. on getting back i opened the door, switched the ignition on and started it up. on leaving the car park my ex asked where her shopping was on the back seat. then she looked in the glove compartment and said something else was missing. then something hit me. i got out and checked the registration number, yes it was a different car. quickly went back inside again and dumped it in the first available place, locked it up and then found mine in the same position only a level higher than the one i took. thank goodness that was before CCTV and i was not on my own. actually i never parked in that car park ever again.

[Margaret Pilkington]

One that springs to mind for me is this one.
I was a new staff nurse on the gynae ward(women’s bits).....and I had just done a ward round with one of the consultants that I admired.
She had seen a lady and had asked me to organise some Psycho-Sexual Counselling for her.
After the ward round was finished I went to the office to do as I had been asked.

I looked in the internal phone directory and found the extension number to ring.
I rang the number, told them who I was and said I would like to arrange Psycho-Sexual counselling for a patient of Miss P......the Male voice on the other end of the line said
‘darlin’ I would love to help you, but you’ve come through to the Painters shop’.
I put the phone down hastily....very red faced(thankful that I had not given any of the patients details) I checked the number again and I had been ‘out’ by one digit in the phone number.

[monkey hanger]

on a slightly different note i,ve caused embassesing moments to others. the best occasion must have been when i was a bus inspector in huddersfield. we used to park spare buses and crews down a quiet street near the town centre. i got a radio message they wanted a bus and crew to duplicate some route or other. at the time we had a number of buses called lowbridge ones that consisted of one long 4 seater seats upstairs than two single two seater ones. on going to the bus there was no crews to be seen. on going quietly upstairs the driver and conductress were to put it as mildly as possible where enjoying themselves. both were married to other staff members. i asked to to do this trip when they had finished. one thing after that day was i never spent anything in the canteen when either were present. never reported them as i was not squeeky clean in those days.

[DaveinGermany]

Not for me I hasten to add, but for one rather pompous "N.i.G" SSM (Squadron Sgt Major). Our unit were due out on exercise & all personell had to be within unit lines by 14:00 Sunday afternoon (I lived out at the time, noted but not official).

Being the good little Trooper I was, I RTU'ed Sunday 13:45 booked in then set about organising my sections Vehicles & crews, job done I spoke to the Sqn I/C so I could head off to my room & collect my kit & webbing for the Ex, which he okayed so off I ambled. In the meantime WO/SSM "Dinger" Bell, a Snake, decided to exert his military prowess upon the disorganized rabble in green to get squared away by calling a parade, fair enough, his prerogative as SSM. On looking out the window & seeing the smart & soldierlike squares forming up I thought I should really go & join in.

Shouldering pack, webbing & tin lid I waltzes round the corner of the block to see Dinger chewing cobs out of the troops, upon seeing me he promptly decides that I'm a frightful maggot & I should do him the honour of joining "His Parade", aber Dally dally Lad, not wishing to dissappoint. I dropped my kit & trotted over to the irate stick man & asked permission to join in. After him turning several rather interesting shades of red then on into a sort of purpley/puce colour, near on busting a gusset at my damned insubordination, questioning my parentage & general evolution, he then made the fatal & most flawed comment of any new promotee to the senior ranks .....
SSM D "Are you trying to make a Knut of me in front of MY Unit Son?"
Ickey "No Sir, your'e doing quite well by yourself .... Sir!"

The intake of breath from a whole parade of several hundred makes quite an interesting sound & the ocassional chortle & snigger thrown in was also quite novel! The following explosion of expletives was impressive I must say, ending with him screaming at me to go see "God" RSM over in his office & he wouldn't be far behind to condemn me & get me "slung in't Corner house for the rest of my miseable life!"

So off I doubled to go see "God", RSM Sid to his mates & outrageously necky young lance Jacks such as I ... Knock, knock, bang in tabs adopt smart soldier stance

Me "Hello Sir, Mr Bell sent me over & he'll be here shortly to talk at you about me Sir."
God "What've you done now Scouse?"
Me "Me Sir? Nothing ... but Mr Bell says I failed to attend his Parade & you need to deal with me"
God "What Parade?"
Me "The one he called cos your crowd can't get a grip Sir"

A weary shake of a resigned head, a snort that sounded very much like a stiffled chuckle. "Scouse, Go, get back to your section, I'll talk to Mr Bell"
a crash of a slammed door & the incandescent shouting "Think he's here Sir, can I go now?" A dismissive wave as I scuttle off, the shout of outrage, the calming tone of "God" telling a young WO/SSM to wind his neck in & that he "God" would personally see to my eternal damnation, brimstone & fire purgatory should I ever again make said young WO look like such a Knut in front of the assembled troops, ever again!


As it happens, Dinger left the unit on posting & promtion after a good few years he came back to 2ADFA as RSM , I was still there, we had a chat & a chuckle over the past & we got on well after that.

[dotti34]

A few years ago I was with my husband in a local supermarket when we saw a lady we knew who was being attended to by staff members as she had had a ‘funny turn’. We stopped to see if there was anything we could do and she said that although she was feeling better she didn’t think she could drive her car home but she didn’t want to leave it in the car park.

I asked her if we could contact Hank (her husband) for her and she said ‘No, Hank’s gone’. I was shocked to think he had left her and trying to show her some empathy I said how sorry I was and that I couldn’t understand why men did this sort of thing when they had a good marriage, that I hadn’t thought he was that sort of a bloke, and blah, blah, blah, all in similar vein, without pausing for a breath. I then I asked had she any idea why he had left her. She said ‘he died’.

I felt so embarrassed but we (sort of) made up for my clumsiness by my husband driving her home in her car and I followed in ours.

[monkey hanger]

i,ve fallen into a similar trap as well. i,ll never understand why people never say that someone or something has actually died. its something we all have to do and saying it would save a lot of silences and embarrasments to all concerned.

[DaveinGermany]

Another urban myth in garrison towns is the super hero & his tied up wife. Someone somewhere, heard from a mate down the pigs bar about some "Pad" & his wife who liked a bit of role play/soft bondage & end up getting themselves embarrased when things go wrong.

The general outline tended to be, him back from exercise/mess do/Regt function all hot & flustered, her willing to play along, she gets tied to the matrimonial scratcher, he gets decked out as super hero, jumps/falls from cupboard/ wardrobe does himself a mischief/knocked out.

Wifey goes into panic mode & starts screaming the house down, the neighbours call the GCP/Monkeys, who come barreling in smashing down MQ door & then everyone involved gets rather embarressed by the piquant situation of an unconscious "Batman" with his tackle hanging out & a beet red wifey in her skimpys.

Heard it a hundred times or more, but never ever actually met the pervs!

[DaveinGermany]

A young Medic subby in the Gulf 1991, placed in charge of our FDS was handed a GPS, (something novel at that time) seeing as we'd be mooching round in a huge sandpit with no points of reference, so off he toddles to get it up & running.

About an hour later he comes ambling back chuntering about "useless piece of kit & it doesn't work!". So I asks him, "Problem Sir?", "Yes!" says he "It's not picking up our location, I put in Iraq & it's not registering!"

"Go to the Countrys table Sir & try UAE"
"Why should I try that Corporal Williams?"
"Something to do with us landing in Saudi 2 days ago Sir & we've only moved about 10 mile from the Airport."

The old saying about Orifficers & Maps still holds true, even in our digital age.

[monkey hanger]

Originally Posted by DaveinGermany

Wifey goes into panic mode & starts screaming the house down, the neighbours call the GCP/Monkeys, who come barreling in smashing down MQ door & then everyone involved gets rather embarressed by the piquant situation of an unconscious "Batman" with his tackle hanging out & a beet red wifey in her skimpys.

Heard it a hundred times or more, but never ever actually met the pervs!

heard similar so called stories from people in the NHS who worked in A & E where people have come in after their sex life went wrong. suppose by the laws of averages they might have been correct stories.

[cashman]

Very hard to be embaressed when you dont really give a stuff.