Funeral Costs

[cashman]

Originally Posted by Accyexplorer

I know it's a little premature (not to mention dangerous),but this topic has got me thinking...what are my choices? Hmmm

For me,I'd like to think my body or parts of have helped give someone a chance of life so I'm swayed towards donating it.....

Thats very commendable as long as yeh dont leave yer brain to someone.

[Studio25]

If there's no money in the deceased's estate and the person(s) responsible for arranging the funeral are on a means-tested benefit, then they can apply for help toward the cost of a basic funeral from the social fund.

[davemac]

Originally Posted by maxthecollie

I too have worked in the back of the crematory and fully back what Dave Mac has said

Thanks Frank.

[Gremlin]

I was looking at the book in the entrance to the cream one Sunday and the attendant, who seemed bored just hanging around, invited me for what he called "his two bob tour"
I spent a pleasant hour having every last detail of the operation explained and came away with a clearer idea of the procedure.
I also drive for my father with his funeral limousine business in the 60's when I was on leave and never saw anything illegal or immoral going on.
One thing I do know, Funeral directors and assistants including drivers have to be good actors. We may have had a bit of a chuckle about other things but when with the deceased family it was all straight and sad faced.


My tour of Accy crem was about 8 years ago so maybe one of you chaps could be the one who showed me round. I know he's retired now.

[Margaret Pilkington]

Russell, I am sure the chuckles that you had with your colleagues when you were dealing with sad things were the way to keep sane.
I know that in nursing we dealt with some tragic things and the way we coped was our very black humour. It wasn't that we were being disrespectful with the things we laughed at, it was just our way of dealing with it...stopping it from corroding our emotions.....and if you couldn't do that, then the job was not for you.

[Gremlin]

We once had the stub axle of the hearse break just before the long downhill to the cream at Rise Grove.
My father told us to carry on with the mourners while he sorted it out.
Ten minutes later the drivers were stood around outside with the mourners sat inside the Crem.
Suddenly a big Ford Estate car came round the bend. The coffin was in the back with a bit hanging out. The undertaker was sat alongside it with his black coat covering it.
We got it out and as we were carrying it in the vicar who was leading turned and said "I bet he's never been as fast as that in his life".
We had to walk down the aisle carrying the coffin with that silly face you make trying not to laugh. We pulled it off though and everything went according to plan.

[Margaret Pilkington]

When I was a student nurse working at Blackburn Royal Infirmary, I came off duty and was waiting for a bus on the main road.
There were four of us waiting...all students. One of Scale's hearses turned up. It was going back into Blackburn. It didn't have a coffin in it. The driver offered us all a lift into town. (anything to save fourpence) Three of my colleagues managed to squash into the front seats. No room in there for me
I told the driver that I would wait for the bus.
'No, don't do that...you can ride in the back' he said.
He jumped out and opened the back door.
I sat where the coffin would go and my legs were down into a little sort of well.
It was one of the most uncomfortable lifts I had ever had.
When we got to Mincing Lane the driver asked if he could drop us off there.....of course we all said 'yes'.
My friends got out, but I was stuck in the back...no handle on the inside of the door(well anyone riding back there would not be needing a handle to get out would they?).
I said to the driver 'don't forget about me'. He came round the back and let me out. I told him that it was one of the most uncomfortable rides I had ever he had. He laughed and said that I was the first person ever to tell him that and it was the one and only time I would climb out of the back of one of those and get to talk about it.

It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

[davemac]

Originally Posted by Gremlin

I was looking at the book in the entrance to the cream one Sunday and the attendant, who seemed bored just hanging around, invited me for what he called "his two bob tour"
I spent a pleasant hour having every last detail of the operation explained and came away with a clearer idea of the procedure.
I also drive for my father with his funeral limousine business in the 60's when I was on leave and never saw anything illegal or immoral going on.
One thing I do know, Funeral directors and assistants including drivers have to be good actors. We may have had a bit of a chuckle about other things but when with the deceased family it was all straight and sad faced.


My tour of Accy crem was about 8 years ago so maybe one of you chaps could be the one who showed me round. I know he's retired now.

Not me Russell, I have been retired longer than that.

[Gremlin]

I think the bloke who showed me around has had a stroke either just before or after he finished.
He told me he had seen some funny goings on with courting couples in the warm area behind the crem when he rewound the CCTV.
So beware you courting couples, you never know who sees you.
The boss there now is a lady by the way.

[davemac]

We expect things to go smoothly at a funeral, and for the most part it does, even when it does go slightly awry the mourners don't see the problem. In my time in charge I witnessed a few slight deviations from the norm, leaving the funeral home without the coffin, a funeral director nipping home whilst the service was being undertaken, this give a 20 minute window, trouble was he sat in the chair at home and fell asleep. One incident that still makes me smile, but only after the event, was a day when no burials or cremations were booked, this gives a clear day for external maintenance of the grounds. So everyone was togged up for weeding digging and other dirty jobs, myself included. It was a nice sunny day and we were getting stuck into cleaning the area around the outside of the crem. Suddenly through the main gates entered a hearse, nothing unusual as it could have been going to the office with paperwork, however it was followed by the limousine containing the family, then the rest of the family in their own cars. At this point a part of my body tightened, as we knew we had nothing booked for that day, but here was a funeral cortege heading down the hill for the crematorium, and nothing had been prepared and we were stood there with spades, rakes and forks at the crematorium entrance like an honor guard for a gardeners funeral. We could do nothing but watch it slowly proceed down the drive and contemplate what was about to happen when it arrived at the large glass doors, I did consider early retirement at this point. Slowly, so very slowly it headed in our direction and all we could do was wait by the doors, and arrive by the doors it did, the driver of the hearse gave us a look of panic, he then kept driving followed by the rest of the funeral cortege, he drove to the end of the drive and took a right turn up the exit drive and exited the cemetery. At this point he turned left and headed for Burnley Crematorium, the muffin had arrived at the wrong cemetery, some days later we had the driver arrive at the crem when he should have been there, his excuse was he was heading up Burnley Road and took a left turn automatically without thinking, having done so he had no alternative but to carry on down the drive as the rest of the family had followed him in.

[Gremlin]

You should have Presented Arms with you rakes and shovels Dave.

[maxthecollie]

Originally Posted by davemac

Not me Russell, I have been retired longer than that.

and not me, I didn't work at the crem. I was on the electrical side of the then Accrington Council and had to repair the cremulator once.

[taddy]

Originally Posted by maxthecollie

and not me, I didn't work at the crem. I was on the electrical side of the then Accrington Council and had to repair the cremulator once.

(CREMULATOR),that's one for the Scrabble enthusiasts.

[davemac]

Originally Posted by Gremlin

You should have Presented Arms with you rakes and shovels Dave.

I couldn't for the cold sweat.

[maxthecollie]

[QUOTE=Margaret Pilkington;1180105]When I was a student nurse working at Blackburn Royal Infirmary, I came off duty and was waiting for a bus on the main road.
There were four of us waiting...all students. One of Scale's hearses turned up. It was going back into Blackburn. It didn't have a coffin in it. The driver offered us all a lift into town. (anything to save fourpence) Three of my colleagues managed to squash into the front seats. No room in there for me
I told the driver that I would wait for the bus.
'No, don't do that...you can ride in the back' he said.
He jumped out and opened the back door.
I sat where the coffin would go and my legs were down into a little sort of well.
It was one of the most uncomfortable lifts I had ever had.
When we got to Mincing Lane the driver asked if he could drop us off there.....of course we all said 'yes'.
My friends got out, but I was stuck in the back...no handle on the inside of the door(well anyone riding back there would not be needing a handle to get out would they?).
I said to the driver 'don't forget about me'. He came round the back and let me out. I told him that it was one of the most uncomfortable rides I had ever he had. He laughed and said that I was the first person ever to tell him that and it was the one and only time I would climb out of the back of one of those and get to talk about it.

It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.


We have a friend who is a funeral director and we both have funeral plans in place with him for cremations. We were asked for choice of music for the committal and I jokingly said "Burn baby burn" and he came up with "Smoke gets in your eyes"