General Election?

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

I don't know whether to pity him or chuck a brick at him.

Why?

He's not climbed up on your roof, has he?

Still, it'll cost less than getting your cherry picker out to deal with him.

[Acrylic-bob]

My tastes may be catholic dear but I do draw the line, occaisionally. And besides, I'm getting a bit too long in the tooth to go shinning up drainpipes to negotiate with stroppy councillors.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

My tastes may be catholic dear but I do draw the line, occaisionally. And besides, I'm getting a bit too long in the tooth to go shinning up drainpipes to negotiate with stroppy councillors.

Yes, but if you leave him up there he could start picking at his mirkin, and use it to feather a nest.

You might never get him down.

Lobbing something now might be wiser in the long-run.

[Acrylic-bob]

A bit like the phoenix then. Too much to hope he might go up in flames I suppose.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

A bit like the phoenix then. Too much to hope he might go up in flames I suppose.

Mirkins are highly flammable.

You might be lucky if you burn a lot of paper in your grate.

[Acrylic-bob]

Nah, I think I'll leave him up there actually, pour encourager les autres, sort of thing. At least he will keep the pigeons away.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Nah, I think I'll leave him up there actually, pour encourager les autres, sort of thing. At least he will keep the pigeons away.

That's nice.

You never know.

In time, with the offer of a few treats, you might tempt him down to sit on your hand.

[Acrylic-bob]

Yes, and I could probably train him to repeat comical phrases such as "Ed Milliband is a plonker" and "B*gger Kashmir", wot fun.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Yes, and I could probably train him to repeat comical phrases such as "Ed Milliband is a plonker" and "B*gger Kashmir", wot fun.

...and 'Who's a pretty b...'

Perhaps not.

[Acrylic-bob]

Hmmm, I don't know, could be useful for shocking the vicar. Watch out Reverend, don't get too close or he might flap his mirkin at you. Oh dear, too late.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

Hmmm, I don't know, could be useful for shocking the vicar. Watch out Reverend, don't get too close or he might flap his mirkin at you. Oh dear, too late.

If you plan on taming him, and keeping him caged, as a pet.

You'll need to cut his toe nails occasionally, and only feed him your finest seed.

[Acrylic-bob]

He'd need a tail as well. I have seen some in shiny black neoprene. A tad expensive but what is the use of a pet without a tail to wag?

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

He'd need a tail as well. I have seen some in shiny black neoprene. A tad expensive but what is the use of a pet without a tail to wag?

People could come to admire him from miles around.

Though make sure you use the right size plug.

Otherwise it will keep coming off, and feathers are a devil to get up.

[Acrylic-bob]

I don't think I will be showing him, I want to keep him for breeding.
You see, apart from the odd shred of mirkin there are no droppings to speak of. A positive boon really.

[garinda]

Originally Posted by Acrylic-bob

I don't think I will be showing him

Probably wise.

Disappointment's such a hard cross to bear.

So I'm told.