How far do you let your kids go?

Gayle · 30-09-2005, 19:01

This question is really killing me at the moment. My two children (one 6 in a weeks time and the other nearly 4) want to play out. They were playing in our garden (which has a really high wall) when another kid came to the gate. They started chatting and the next thing I knew they'd invited this kid in. That was fine, she seems nice. Anyway, now this kid wants to play with my two quite often and can't understand why I won't let them out of the garden whilst she's allowed to roam the street.

Tonight, the kid in question came into the garden to play with them when it started raining. They all came running inside the house and started a game of snakes and ladders. After a little while I asked whether she'd told her mummy where she was. She looked at me really blankly and said it didn't matter because she was allowed to play out.

Now my two want similar sorts of freedom. So how far should I allow them to wander without panicking? BTW the little girl is 7, so she's a bit older than mine.

WillowTheWhisp · 30-09-2005, 19:13

At that age I'd want to know exactly where they were at all times.

Crikey, mine are 14 and 11 and I still want to know where they are if they go out!

grego · 30-09-2005, 19:21

My daughters only 3 and she doesn't play out front and I cant see me letting her even when she's 6, I sometimes think I'm over protective but I cant help it, my feeling may change when she gets older and gets some road sense.

Gayle · 30-09-2005, 19:27

That's the way I feel too but it does feel mean sometimes when she sees all the other kids in the neighbourhood out there.

accymel · 30-09-2005, 19:32

My son is 7 & altho only just allowed to go shop & walk home from school as its very close but as tonight he was told he couldnt spend his spends at the shop till tomoz now cos its dark altho early, my daughter is nearly 10 & has a little more freedom but the rule is she has to tell me were she is going & has to be back for curfew.

grego · 30-09-2005, 19:38

I suppose you have to treat each child as an individual, but I feel the same way Gayle, we live in a quietish cul-de-sac and lots of children play out un supervised but I wouldn't be happy to let Ellie, there's still people who drive too fast even though they know children are playing, not to mention other dangers.

cashman · 30-09-2005, 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayle Knight

Now my two want similar sorts of freedom. So how far should I allow them to wander without panicking? BTW the little girl is 7, so she's a bit older than mine.

i think the simple answer is what you as a mother feel safe and happy with, it doesn't make it right cos other kids get to do it. mine are adults now but when they got to the age we thought right we always told them were they could and couldn't go and also we had to know where they would be. as an add on to that they also had various chores to do to earn their spending money maybe i'm old fashioned but fortunatly they have turned out all right.what you are doing from my point of view - is being a GOOD RESPONSIBLE parent, pity theres not more about.

Margaret Pilkington · 30-09-2005, 20:18

I think you stick to the rules you have made Gayle....if your children pester you to do what other children are doing, then you could explain your reasons to them.....another thing to consider is that the nights are drawing in and it just isn't safe to let children play out unsupervised. I think I would also be phoning the little girls Mum if she was playing at your house....just to give her some peace of mind and maybe prick her conscience just a little bit.

West Ender · 30-09-2005, 20:33

It's difficult with a child of 7. At that age I could let my children play out, in the 70s, and I knew they might go into the homes of friends but they had boundaries. If they wanted to go further than our street they had to tell me first. I think 6 is a bit young to give much freedom. My granddaughter is 6 next week and only goes to friends' houses, prearranged, to play. Her mum anticipates her playing out on her bike next summer - but only near the house and with friends of the same age. I don't believe in wrapping them up in cotton wool but common sense says you don't let them go into the homes of people you don't know. Don't ever be influenced by what others do, you know best.

harwood red · 30-09-2005, 22:48

My 2 boys are 12 and 13 and I still find it hard letting go. They are not allowed to go anywhere without their mobiles fully charged and are not allowed the credit to drop below £1 so they can always phone home. They also still have to ask if they are going anywhere out of the norm. But at their age I have to trust them not to get upto no good. I also find out who they are hanging out with, fortunately they have some good decent friends

maccawozzagod · 30-09-2005, 23:02

let your kids go as far as you trust them, sod everybody else. When your kids are teenagers then you have to consider what everyone else is doing, but with young kids, just because somebody else is irresponsible does not mean you have to be!

staggeringman · 01-10-2005, 01:30

what can you say ? half a dozen answers on here , you think your kids are doing what they say!but are they?you dont know cause your not out there wiping there arses!we thought we new it all as we where growing up ! but we are better people than they are because we got brought up with manners!the young ones of today say heee , yooo wattttssssss the chillllll?what they on about?just move on in life!

Tinkerbelle · 01-10-2005, 01:50

Geeezz what a loaded question ........ damned if you do ... damned if you don't! Trust your own kids. My kids know their limits, where they can and can't go and what time their curfew is. If i find them outta bounds or they're late I ground their backsides!

staggeringman · 01-10-2005, 01:55

proper mum.............................

Debbie J · 01-10-2005, 07:23

I have a 7 year old. He is only allowed to play out front where I can see him, if he is going anywhere else he must tell me & is given a time by which he must be home. He has road sense but I wont let him walk all the way home from school alone (much to his disgust) as he would have to walk across the top of Milnshaw park. After much arguement we compromised and I now meet him away from school but before the park & we are both happy. Trust your instincts Gayle even if they accuse you of being the cruelest mum in the world.