Hyndburn 2461

gynn · 01-08-2011, 21:26

With all this talk about the US Debt Crisis, it's time to consider what Hyndburn will be like when the Council budget passes the trillion pound barrier.

Assuming an annual inctrease in spending of 2.5%, this will be in 2461, just a short 350 years from now.

What will life be like in Hyndburn then? I have some predictions.

- J D Werherspoon celebrates the 350th anniversary of the opening of its first pub in Accrington, just 5 years before it took over the whole site of the former Globe Centre, its biggest acquisition to date.

- The Peoples Republic of Belthorn celebrates the 200th anniverary of its acceptance as an independent member of the EEC

- The 200ft statue of legendary leader of Hyndburn Council Lord Miles of Parkinson on the top of the Coppice celebrates its millionth visitor

- Economy Store MillionPoundStretcher announces the opening of yet another store on Broadway to appeal to the thrifty shopper, promising nithing will cost more than a million pounds.

- A budget of a 1,000 million pounds is agreed to pay for the erection of fences to prevent the illegal influx of immigrants from the failed former republic of Ribble Valley.

- The owners of the Arndale Centre promise to look once again into reinstating the clock....

- A new Rocket Propelled Bus Station is opened in the Centre of Accrington.... a hundred foot above Broadway....

- But Councillors cause controversy when they announce that Peel Street Toilets will be closed on a Monday afternoon.....

Any other predictions?

cashman · 01-08-2011, 21:32

Why consider? me n mine will be long gone by then.

Tealeaf · 01-08-2011, 21:44

Give it twenty years and Hyndburn will be receiving regular food aid from Ethiopia.

Accrington Commercial Hotel will have long since have been demolished and on the site will be a Garden of Rememberance, with benches all donated by Councillor Britcliffe.

jaysay · 02-08-2011, 08:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tealeaf

Give it twenty years and Hyndburn will be receiving regular food aid from Ethiopia.

Accrington Commercial Hotel will have long since have been demolished and on the site will be a Garden of Rememberance, with benches all donated by Councillor Britcliffe.

And rightly so

Boeing Guy · 02-08-2011, 08:42

My concern is, will the leaders medal still be in Mr Britcliffe's hands?

MargaretR · 02-08-2011, 08:52

In much less than 450 years from now humans will experience a leap in their evolution.

The emissions from the galactic centre, relayed to us via the sun, will intensify and will activate that junk DNA you have.

Everybody will be Supermen

jaysay · 02-08-2011, 09:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

In much less than 450 years from now humans will experience a leap in their evolution.

The emissions from the galactic centre, relayed to us via the sun, will intensify and will activate that junk DNA you have.

Everybody will be Supermen

What about women

flashy · 02-08-2011, 09:14

Super WOman John

cashman · 02-08-2011, 09:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

In much less than 450 years from now humans will experience a leap in their evolution.

The emissions from the galactic centre, relayed to us via the sun, will intensify and will activate that junk DNA you have.

Everybody will be Supermen

Damn,looks like i'm gonna have competition,

MargaretR · 02-08-2011, 09:19

Immortality removes the need to reproduce - you think you might miss 'thingy'

but you will have 'higher' things to occupy you.

gynn · 02-08-2011, 10:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boeing Guy

My concern is, will the leaders medal still be in Mr Britcliffe's hands?

At 2.5% inflation for 350 years, the medal will be worth 400,000 pounds.

Might be worth the Council keeping it in the safe.

jaysay · 02-08-2011, 10:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by gynn

At 2.5% inflation for 350 years, the medal will be worth 400,000 pounds.

Might be worth the Council keeping it in the safe.

And don't forget it would immortalise PB too

cashman · 02-08-2011, 13:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysay

And don't forget it would immortalise PB too

already immortalised along wi the "Devil"

steve2qec · 02-08-2011, 14:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

Immortality removes the need to reproduce - you think you might miss 'thingy'

but you will have 'higher' things to occupy you.

Such as hunting down and chopping off the heads of other immortals to gain their power...."there can be only one"!

Guinness · 02-08-2011, 17:25

Accrington Observer August Edition 2461 published in Mumbai

NEWS
The Arndale Centre, which has stood empty for decades, say that it is to be demolished next year to be replaced by a car park and a public house to be called The Black Bull. <click here for more>

The indoor travellers site, formerly the market hall, is to reopen on Wednesdays for members of the public wishing to purchase tarmac, cheap suites, hooky Tranny Vans, camp coffee or use the antique conveniences, said leader of the council Peter Britcliffe XXIII <click here for more>

The number of people dead from eating in Weatherspoons rose to 36 this week after the chef failed to notice the microwave was set to auto defrost and not full power. <click here for more>

The Blackburn Road expressway ground to a halt yesterday as police failed to move four taxis quadruple parked facing the wrong way across all four inbound lanes. <click here for more>

SPORT
Accrington Stanley board of directors announce full transparency is on the cards <click here for more>