If Shakespere was alive today?

Less · 22-03-2006, 20:21

What would his plays and quotes be like if he lived in chav land?

Quote:

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

or perhaps?

"A ring by any other shop would bling so cheap!". (in praise of Argos)

mrskitty · 22-03-2006, 20:41

He might be a lil upset that u spelt his name wrong

buttonsmum · 22-03-2006, 20:53

If you look into it he never spelt his name the same twice

Less · 22-03-2006, 20:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

He might be a lil upset that u spelt his name wrong

No he wouldn't he'd have learnt English at a comprehensive school, which means his parents would have been proud if he could even write his name when he goes to sign on!

SPUGGIE J · 22-03-2006, 21:09

The way his lingo falls out of his gob he would feel rite at home in ower world.

West Ender · 22-03-2006, 21:29

From "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

I know a bank whereon the beer can blows
Where nettle and the creeping green-mold grows.
There supermarket trollies spend the night
All covered with chewed burgers and dog sh!te.

W Shakespeare, 2006

chav1 · 23-03-2006, 13:00

Quote:

If Shakespere was alive today

i would sit him down infront of morcambe & wise reruns and slap him until he got a real understanding of what comedy is

pendy · 23-03-2006, 13:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by chav1

i would sit him down infront of morcambe & wise reruns and slap him until he got a real understanding of what comedy is

A bit unfair, Chav - you've obviously never seen the right productions. I saw "The Merry Wives of Windsor" at Stratford and we were rolling in the aisles.

SPUGGIE J · 23-03-2006, 14:40

Will someone translate this pleased aint got a clue it makes as much sence as running around the Antartic in trunks and nowt else.

'Ask me no reason why I love you; for though
Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him
not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more
am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry,
so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you
love sack, and so do I; would you desire better
sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page,--at
the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,--
that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis
not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me,
Thine own true knight,
By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might
For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF'
What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked
world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
age to show himself a young gallant! What an
unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
picked--with the devil's name!--out of my
conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me?
Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What
should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill
in the parliament for the putting down of men. How
shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be,
as sure as his guts are made of puddings.

garinda · 23-03-2006, 17:49

'A royal yacht, a royal yacht.

My Kingdom for a royal yacht.'

It was so moving. Not a tear was shed for Diana, but Queenie blubbed her lil eyes out in public for the first time when Britannia was decommissoned, bless.

chav1 · 23-03-2006, 18:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

'A royal yacht, a royal yacht.

My Kingdom for a royal yacht.'

It was so moving. Not a tear was shed for Diana, but Queenie blubbed her lil eyes out in public for the first time when Britannia was decommissoned, bless.

maybe she cried for the ship because it hadnt had as many sailors as diana ?

katex · 23-03-2006, 19:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

He might be a lil upset that u spelt his name wrong

And that the title grammatically should read: "If Shakespeare were alive today" (subjunctive tense or summat like that).